Sideswipe: August 29: Lost in abbreviation

Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·

28 Aug, 2016 05:00 PM3 mins to read

This was outside the fabulous Altura Cafe in Rosedale this morning," gushes Alastair. "I'm pretty sure they think it says SHORT BLACK, but it doesn't read that way at first glance."

Do or die for intrepid Beatles fan

News nostalgia from 1966: Twelve-year-old Beatles superfan Carol Dryden of Sunderland, England came up with an ingenious scheme to meet the Fab Four. She packaged herself inside a box and arranged to have a friend mail her to them - addressed "to the Beatles, care their fan club, London". Shipping cost $8.47. But Carol only got as far as the railway station, where a clerk noticed the box she was in wobbling back and forth. Inside of it, Carol, overheated and running out of air because she hadn't made any holes in the box, was trying to take off her sweater. Carol confessed, "I hadn't thought about fresh air or food. All I wanted was to see the Beatles. I don't know what I would have done had I really arrived on their doorstep. I suppose I would have fainted." The railroad refunded the freight charge. (Rochester Democrat and Chronicle - June 16, 1966)

The posher side of life

Overheard in Britain's poshest supermarket, Waitrose ...

1."Jemima, you'll have to take the rosemary off the focaccia before we feed the ducks, darling ... They can't digest it!"

2."I suppose we could have a coffee. I've just spoken to Susan and she's still doing the ironing and there's nothing worse than being in your own house when the cleaner is still there."

3."While working on the meat and fish counter, I had a couple ask for 'your dry aged sirloin steak'. They asked for two thick slices costing around 16 ($29). I wrapped up the meat and I told them to enjoy ... surprisingly the man responded with "We don't eat meat, we are both vegetarians ... this is for our dog Clifford ... it's his favourite".

Sting of injustice

Brian writes: "Tauranga Boys College 1969. My mate and I were cycling home against a head wind. We stopped for a breather, resting on the fence at the girls' college. A boys' college teacher stopped and took our names. Next day we were caned for being "Dirty Little Perverts". It didn't matter that it was 4pm and not a female to be seen at the girls' school!"

"While walking the Heaphy Track a few years ago we found this curious being 'watching' us," writes Sue Newton. "Couldn't decide whether it just grew that way, or whether someone had very cleverly created it."

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