Sideswipe: April 16: Quick to judge

Mark writes: "The huge green 4WD vehicle in the attached picture is my vehicle. I have terminal lung cancer (asbestos-related, unfortunately; no cure) and, as you can see, I have a Disability Parking pass on the vehicle. I have difficulty breathing and get short of breath. I'm currently undergoing my second course of chemotherapy in two years, more as a palliative measure than as a 'cure'. I parked at one of the bottom disability car parks on April 4, 2021 (Easter Sunday) at St Lukes Shopping Centre, Auckland, went for a walk and came back to find a serviette under the wiper with the words 'Disability parking!'.  The sheer ignorance of the person who put that there that they either couldn't be bothered looking further than their noses to see the disability parking pass or that they assumed that all of us disabled drivers must drive a small vehicle. It made my blood boil."

Modern Mr Men Books

Mr Flat Earther: Poor Mr Flat Earther. He's ever so flummoxed. He set off from his front door, walked in a straight line to have a peek over the edge of the Earth, and eventually arrived at his back door! Luckily his neighbour, Mr Scientist, is on hand to teach that you can't see the curvature of the horizon with the naked eye.
Little Miss Covid Denier: Little Miss Covid Denier knows the silly pandemic isn't real. She won't wear a mask and she won't let Mr Blonde stop her seeing her friends and family like Mr Sheeple, who's been locked in his house for a year. Oh no! Miss Covid Denier is an asymptomatic carrier responsible for a cluster of variant infections. But it's okay because she doesn't believe it!
Mr Spoiler: Mr Spoiler loves to tell you what's happening next. From Game of Thrones to Pretty Little Liars, Mr Spoiler has already binged it and is ready to save you valuable time by telling you the ending. But when he is thrown out of every WhatsApp group, blocked on Twitter and unfriended on Facebook, Mr Spoiler learns he has only spoiled things for himself.

Double take

Spotted at Countdown Northwest.

Unemotional onion cutting

Put your onion in the freezer for 10 minutes before chopping it. It freezes the juices just enough to slow down the process of it turning in to a gas, giving you a few minutes to chop the onion without tears. I learned this tip from a kid's science show years ago and I haven't had to deal with onion tears since. So many people don't believe me, and then are genuinely surprised when it works. Also, using a sharp knife helps, because it slices through the onion rather than crushing it and releasing the juices.