"It was at least nine months on the road with Tramp. And of course what comes from being gone so much, is the struggle in your personal life, and finding that balance."
Van Etten grew up playing clarinet, violin and piano, but these days she'll pick up anything that's handy when she wants to write on the road, backstage, or in her hotel room. "I'm not great at playing everything, but when I'm writing I don't always have a choice, I just have to get it out."
She sang in a choir as a child, which contributed to her love of harmony, and ability to hear another layer for every melody she writes.
"It's a curse sometimes because I'll hear two or three harmonies on every song, whether I write them or not. I remember my sister being constantly annoyed when we were younger because every single song on the radio that didn't have a harmony part, I would add one. It was funny, it was one of those little things that would drive a sibling crazy, but I couldn't help myself."
It was annoying for her sister, but Van Etten's voice is potent with emotional power. TV On The Radio's Kyp Malone, who was one of her first supporters when she moved from New Jersey to New York 10 years ago, once said: "Her voice cuts through the wall I'm constantly trying to build around my heart."
But discovering that other people actually wanted to hear her sing was a complicated process for Van Etten. "I didn't realise what I was doing for so long, you know. I was writing lyrics, and singing to myself, to feel better. And then my friends started hearing it, and they were surprised that I played music and hadn't told them.
"It took some serious convincing from some of my friends, but they got me to do some open mics. And I remember one of the first times I noticed that my voice had an effect, I was in a dive bar in Tennessee, it was the middle of the day, and I had a group of grown-ass men in tears. I was maybe 20 or 21, and that floored me, and it made me ask a lot of questions about what it meant."
As she puts it, her songs are "not exactly light-hearted", but they've clearly struck chords all over the world, even though it's taken 10 years for her to achieve this success. The catharsis of writing and performing was one element that drove her to keep going, but it was also the ghost of an unhelpful past relationship that pushed her forward, too.
"He told me I couldn't do it, and that kind of spurred me on, thinking I know that I can, or I'm going to do it anyway ... I held on to the idea that my music helped me, and maybe it helped others, and that was what kept me going."
Who: Sharon Van Etten
Where and when: Performing at the Kings Arms in Auckland on Thursday March 12
Listen to: Because I Was In Love (2009), Epic (2010), Tramp (2012), Are We There (2014)
