Sex, love and celebrities across the generations

Lee Donoghue

Forty-something-year-old Susan Wood twittered recently asking how old one has to be to be a cougar. So, inspired by www.matadoms.com, we've developed a fun Spy guide to understanding love and life over the generations.

Click here for photos of the top 10 celebrity cougars.

Our inside guide uncovers anecdotes about love, life and sex across the different generations. What do men want? What do women want? We start with the females: the Kitten, the Chick, the Puma, the Cougar, the Dragon and the Snapping Turtle. For the men, there's the Cub, the Tiger, the Badger, the Lion, the Rhino and the Tuatara.

Click here for photos of some celebrity examples from our Spy guide.

 

The Kitten (aged 16-20)

Celebrity examples: Top Model winner Christobelle Grierson-Ryrie and celebrity sprog Jaime Ridge.

Dress: Lip gloss and tank tops.

Found: Cruising the shops on Broadway.

Turn ons: Sexting.

Turn offs: Your boyfriend saying: "Your mum looks hot".

 

The Chick (aged 21-29)

Celebrity examples: Singer Annabel Fay, former WAG Brooke McAlister and model Reanin Johannink.

Dress: Walk of shame chic (in the manner of Pixie Geldof).

Found: Being ill in the loo at Pony bar.

Turn ons: Being invited to dinner by Peter Huljich.

Turn offs: Four weeks late - f***!

 

The Puma (aged 30-39)

Celebrity examples: Former supermodel Rachel Hunter (she turns 40 on September 9), actors Miriama Smith, Claire Chitham, Katrina Hobbs, model boss Mandy Jacobsen and buxom blonde Nicky Watson.

Dress: LBDs and a biological clock.

Found: Wine bar in Ponsonby.

Turn ons: Facebook flirting.

Turn offs: Sex with the lights on.

 

The Cougar (aged 40-59)

Celebrity examples: Businesswoman Josephine Grierson, TV producer Julie Christie, model Brigitte Berger, actress Robyn Malcolm, media star Susan Wood, TV presenter Alison Mau, fashion designer Denise L'Estrange-Corbet, former WAG Simone Crowe, actor Rebecca Hobbs and telly faces April Ieremia and Charlotte Dawson.

Dress: Padded bra and probably botox.

Found: At the gym, salon or surgeon.

Turn ons: Your daughter's boyfriend saying you "look hot" and being followed on Twitter.

Turn offs: Referred to as a desperate housewife.

 

The Dragon (aged 60-79)

Celebrity examples: Dame Kiri te Kanawa, Dame Elizabeth Taylor.

Dress: Anything covering the cankles.

Found: Art galleries, pulling the slots at SkyCity.

Turn ons: Leaving the house, Babs on The View.

Turn offs: Still needing to cover the greys.

 

The Snapping Turtle (aged 80+)

Celebrity examples: Nancy Reagan.

Dress: Slippers and a zimmer frame.

Found: Nursing home, retirement village.

Turn ons: Sponge baths and day visits.

Turn offs: His dentures in a glass on your side of the bed.

 

 

The Cub (aged 16-20)

Celebrity examples: Warrior Kevin Locke and celebrity sprog Matt Beck (Susan Wood's son).

Dress: Too much cologne.

Found: Making a naughty film with her mobile phone.

Turn ons: Megan Fox.

Turn offs: Getting a friend request from your mum on Facebook.

 

The Tiger (aged 21-29)

Celebrity examples: All Blacks Richard Kahui and Conrad Smith, TV3 star David Farrier, Warrior Simon Mannering and Shortland St star Lee Donoghue.

Dress: Trainers.

Found: Being hit on by cougars.

Turn ons: When she suggests it anywhere, any time.

Turn offs: Not having a condom.

 

The Badger (aged 30-39)

Celebrity examples: Former radio star Tony Veitch, Island Wars host Mikey Havoc, rich lister Peter Huljich and Shorty St stars Adam Rickitt and Ben Mitchell.

Dress: Over-styled (but trying not to look like it).

Found: Flirting with 20-somethings.

Turn ons: Female attention.

Turn offs: Mentioning your grey hair - or lack of any hair.

 

The Lion (aged 40-59)

Celebrity examples: Rich lister Eric Watson, One News stars Simon Dallow and Tim Wilson, RadioLive broadcaster Michael Laws, surgeon Mr Andrew Laws (who saved Keith Richards after he fell out of a coconut tree) and publisher Tim Connell.

Dress: Polo shirts (and Porsche optional).

Found: Trawling for 20-somethings.

Turn ons: She lets you keep your socks on.

Turn offs: Younger girlfriend wants it more often than you can perform.

 

The Rhino (aged 60-79)

Celebrity examples: Rich lister Owen Glenn and Michael Friedlander, and former Reserve Bank Governor Don Brash.

Dress: Slacks and sciatica.

Found: Superyachts or Soul bar.

Turn ons: An erection.

Turn offs: Running out of Viagra.

 

The Tuatara (aged 80+)

Celebrity examples: Hugh Hefner.

Dress: Codger chic.

Found: Being coddled by a gold digger and/or buxom nurse at home.

Turn ons: Sponge baths, trophy wives.

Turn offs: When she doesn't agree to a pre-nup or post-nup.