You can rest easy, because this column will not mention the royal what's-his-name. Nor will the name Jackie Thomas be uttered. Indeed, I have something far more important to talk about: the fate of New Zealand's best live music venue.
The St James Theatre - a formerly glorious and magnificent venue on Queen St across the road from The Civic which turned 85 years old this month - has been out of commission for many years now.
Since a fire in 2007, it has languished unused and, no doubt, is falling down through neglect. From the outside these days it's looking tattier than ever, with some of the old signs being pulled off - or perhaps they fell off? - the exterior.
I've talked about the plight of this place before in these pages. And despite pleas from many other quarters - the Herald ran a campaign, SPCA boss Bob Kerridge is behind a trust dedicated to saving the theatre (it was the flagship cinema in a chain owned by his father Sir Robert), there is a dedicated Save the St James Facebook page with 8000 supporters, and Labour MP Jacinda Ardern is also an advocate - the powers that be at Auckland Council don't seem to want to save it.