The end of the Twilight film saga is nigh - so please excuse me while I rejoice and howl at the moon with delight. Hallelujah, it's over and I will never again have to see Robert Pattinson's furrowed brow, witness Kristen Stewart's simpering, or endure Taylor Lautner's sulky, enraged outbursts.
And you realise, by the time you read this, I may well be homeless for saying that about Twilight. I am destined to sleep in a tent in the backyard for the rest of the week because my other half is an avid fan of the books and the films.
Although I guess being out in the wilderness all on my lonesome will give me a taste of what it feels like to be an unwanted, lovelorn outcast like Jacob (that's Lautner's character). Poor Jake. Boo-hoo, Bella doesn't want you, she wants whatshisname.
Now then, I admit I'm not a Twilight expert and I haven't read the books. But, thanks to my wife, I have watched the films on a casual, dribs and drabs basis over the past four years. I have a rather strange familiarity with the last instalment, Breaking Dawn Pt. 1, since it seems to be forever taking up a hefty 3 per cent of the MySky memory. I couldn't tell you the plot detail of that film, though I do know Stewart and Pattinson get close to making what would almost qualify as a sex tape. However, my everlasting memory of the film is of a gaunt and pregnant Bella lying lifeless on the couch (that is until she starts drinking blood, of course).
So, after all that in-depth research and suffering, I feel I am qualified to declare that despite the Twilight franchise being a US$2 billion behemoth, I just don't get it. What is with this mass fascination and interest in these films? Yes, though its target audience is young girls, there are many, like my wife, who are surely old enough to know better. Yet they await their Twilight fix keenly.
