Sea of Thieves puts you to work as a pirate, but there's not too much to do.
Sea of Thieves puts you to work as a pirate, but there's not too much to do.
The first time I pulled up anchor and set sail on Sea of Thieves, a game that promises plenty of swashbuckling pirate shenanigans, things went wrong right from the start.
"They're going to ram us! They're going to try and board us!" screamed a man with an American accent having a low-key panic attack.
A woman in a similar state replied: "We're literally going to sink!"
After several minutes of what seemed to be a titanic pirate ship battle, with cannons booming and swords clashing, the din subsided.
Then the woman bleakly declared: "I'm going to die ... I'm dead."
It sounded exciting. It sounded intense. The only problem was, it wasn't my game.
In the version of Sea of Thieves on my screen, I was wandering around a quaint island village, chatting about quests and equipment while working out what the heck it was I was supposed to be doing.
For some reason, audio from someone else's adventure was coming through my speakers - and it sounded like a much better experience than the one I was having.
A scene from Sea of Thieves, Xbox's new swashbuckling adventure game.
Things didn't go much better on my second go. I seemed to be doing things right this time: I picked a character, chose a boat, scored my first mission, unfurled the sails and headed out on to the high seas. No one on my crew was killed doing any of this.
After four minutes at sea, my boat sank.
It's fair to say my early experiences with Sea of Thieves didn't go to plan. It hasn't for Rare, the game's creators, either, or for many of the people trying to play the highly anticipated Xbox One exclusive.
As those crossed signals I experienced show, the game's had multiple launch problems, with issues including server overloads that were so bad, at one point they banned new players from logging on.
Then Rare released a 10-minute video explaining everything that was going wrong.
It's a bit rough trying to review a game that's having huge teething issues, so instead of jumping in and struggling to get my swashbuckle on, I turned to YouTube. There, I finally worked out what it was I should be doing.
So a few days after my initial failures, I returned for a third go and had a much better time. I joined a crew. Together, we chose a mission, let down our sails and headed out on the high seas. We pillaged some villages. We shot some cannonballs. We ate some bananas.
At one point, we watched a stunning sunset together. At another, we had a pirate hoedown, with me on the accordion. When we were attacked by angry island skeletons, we joined forces to take them out. I found some treasure. A shark swam around the boat.
And I saw glimpses of what Sea of Thieves could become. After all, it's a beautiful game. The scenery is stunning, the waves feel accurately choppy, and the characters are kooky cartoon pirates.
A scene from Sea of Thieves.
All that doesn't matter if there's nothing to do. Maybe it was the time of day I was playing, but I rarely saw anyone else in there. The aim of the game seems to be grabbing as much gold as you can, but aside from the fetch missions, there's little else in the way of story.
So far, the same criticism that's been levelled at Playstation's space game No Man's Sky feels relevant with Sea of Thieves: they're both big games promising immersive open worlds, but the result is an empty experience.
If you really want to fill your boots up and get your yo-ho-ho on in Sea of Thieves, you might want to wait a month or two while Rare sorts out all those issues.
Sea of Thieves
Platform: Xbox One Rating: PG Verdict: Cut-throat adventure tale? Hmm, not yet
