Proving a point

From castigating hapless TV talent show contestants to berating journalists who overstep the mark, Sharon Osbourne has a reputation for not suffering fools gladly. But she is all sweetness and light as she welcomes me into her suite at The Dorchester, one of London's most exclusive hotels, declaring that she has enjoyed her numerous trips to New Zealand over the years with her rock star husband Ozzy and her son Jack, who filmed several episodes of his television series Adrenalin Junkie in the country. "We love it there," she declares. "It's beautiful."

The 57-year-old is in London for the launch of her debut novel, Revenge, which grew out of the success of her 2005 autobiography Extreme and its 2007 follow-up Survivor: My Story - The Next Chapter. To date, Extreme has sold more than a million copies worldwide and her publicists claims that it is the best-selling autobiography to be written by a woman. Osbourne, who divides her time between Los Angeles and Buckinghamshire, was last year ranked as the 25th richest woman in Britain on the Sunday Times Rich List, with an estimated family fortune of £90 million ($192.7 million).

"It wasn't on my list of things to do, but after working with [publishers] Little, Brown on my first two books and Ozzy doing his book [I Am Ozzy] through them, we talked and I thought 'I've got a novel in me'," she recalls. "But it was only over the last two years that it's really come together and I realised 'yeah, I could do that'."

However, some reviewers have questioned the authorship of the book, claiming that it is mostly the work of Penelope Dening, who co-wrote both Extreme and Survivor. It is obviously a sore point for Osbourne, who doesn't even wait for me to raise the subject.

"It pisses me off a bit that people go 'did you write it?' Yeah. 'But you worked with someone?' Yeah, I dictated it," she says. "They'll always find a negative about everything. Did I sit down at a computer and tap, tap away? No way, I haven't got the concentration to do that. But when you come up with a great storyline and great characters and things and people want to take that away from you, that pisses me off because it's like, well, she couldn't have thought of that. Actually I'm f***ing smart, so I could."

Literary critics have long questioned the authenticity of celebrity novels by the likes of former page 3 girl Jordan, whose 2007 second effort, Crystal, famously outsold all of that year's Booker Prize shortlist put together, with the exception of Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach, by 12 copies to one. Television writer Lynda La Plante labelled the flood of such books as "the biggest publishing catastrophe of all time - the constant supply of crap by individuals who have been famous for 15 minutes on television". But that is not to say that someone who purchases ex-Atomic Kitten member Kerry Katona's Glamour Girl or former EastEnders' stalwart Martine McCutcheon's The Mistress at their local supermarket would otherwise choose high-minded fare like 2007 Booker winner Anne Enright's arduous The Gathering.

"They're not going to buy some political overview about the Obama administration," says Osbourne. "The British press loves to be negative. It's like 'we like it, but she didn't write it herself. How could she?' Why not? It's as if I don't have the imagination. It's just another little arrow in the back. Just because I dictate when I work and don't physically do it myself. Do you actually want to see me pounding away?"

But no matter who is responsible for penning it, Revenge is an endearingly entertaining slice of escapism and its exhilaratingly trashy journey through the heady world of showbiz should keep even male readers turning the page. "If it was made into a TV movie, you'd watch it," quips Osbourne, who admits that she is not exactly "Charles f***ing Dickens."

The Brixton-born impresario drew on her own background as the daughter of legendary music mogul Don Arden for her tale of Chelsea and Amber Stone, two ambitious sisters whose levels of fame and fortune are inexorably linked to one another. "I have a brother and for a short while we both worked for my father," she recalls. "It was very competitive, horribly so."

As the book title suggests, Amber, who is nicknamed "the sweetheart of America" despite hailing from leafy Surrey, seeks vengeance upon vivacious wild child Chelsea after she spectacularly steals her thunder. An emotion that Osbourne obviously identifies with, as in 2002 she notoriously sent a Tiffany box of her own excrement to a journalist who dared to criticise her children's weight. However, it seems that she has mellowed in the intervening years.

"I always say that the sweetest revenge is living well," she says with a wry smile. "When you're happy and content, no matter what anybody says about you, you're bulletproof. Things like dislikes and grudges are very bad for you. You can't hold it in. Get it out, get rid of it and move on."

The novel opens in 1976 with some of its most evocative passages as the girls' mother, Maggie Michaels, runs away to London, intent on becoming a star. "It's about that dream that you have when you're young of wanting to be an actress even though you don't have the talent," says Osbourne. "She didn't have the talent and I didn't have the talent either."

Unfortunately, Maggie's plans to conquer the world soon founder and she ends up working behind the bar of the Black Horse pub in Berwick St, where Osbourne herself was once a regular. "I used to spend a lot of time there, going to auditions around Soho as a kid," she recalls. "It was my stomping ground."

Maggie falls for the charms of unscrupulous strip bar owner Derek Stone, who abandons her after she falls pregnant with Chelsea. She then marries his in-the-closet gay brother George, with whom she has Amber after a single night of passion. Osbourne sensitively portrays George, who sets out with good intentions but is fatally torn between his suppressed sexuality and his determination to be a good father.

"He was a good guy, a really good guy," she says. "But he was brought up in a time when a lot of people weren't allowed to be who they were. It's different now but it was not the norm in those days, especially with a lot of people in England. You couldn't come out and be who you were, society wouldn't let you."

Maggie simply doesn't have "the it factor", something Osbourne learnt to spot during her time as a judge and mentor on popular reality shows like X-Factor in Britain and, more recently, America's Got Talent. "You know instantly when somebody is special and when they're not," she says. "They don't have to be the best singer or the best actor. It's all about charisma and having that little sparkle of stardust."

Maggie makes the same fatal mistake as many real life parents, attempting to achieve the success that eluded her through Chelsea and Amber. "She's vulnerable, she's a dreamer," says Osbourne. "She had a big dream that never materialised for her, so she tries to live it through her children. Everything she wanted to do in her life but couldn't, she then tries to get through her kids, which is never a good thing. It can be hideously bad for the children."

Maggie pushes the pair to become famous singers and actresses, no matter what the cost to their personal welfare. "People who want fame will do a lot of things that people who aren't struggling for fame would never do," says Osbourne, who believes that an insatiable thirst for acclaim can lead to trouble. "It depends on the level of fame. There are probably only 10 real A-listers in the world but I dread to think how Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and people like that cope. Their lives are not their own."

Overzealous media attention is something that Osbourne has plenty of first-hand knowledge of. She engineered husband Ozzy's solo career after his departure from Black Sabbath in 1979 and has managed the likes of the Smashing Pumpkins, Motorhead and Gary Moore. She then moved into the spotlight herself as she and her family became the stars of MTV's The Osbournes. "But not to that level," she says. "That's a serious level. It's hard; it takes its toll."

The riotous The Osbournes virtually pioneered a new television sub-genre when it debuted in America in 2002, transforming the often-dysfunctional family's domestic affairs into a compulsive soap opera. Since then other celebrities like Paris Hilton and Jordan and her ex-husband Peter Andre have laid themselves bare in fly-on-the-wall television dramas, with varied and often excruciating results. "It's like anything," Osbourne says. "There's now a zillion talent shows with four judges. Everybody's trying to do it but it's great to be first and then move on."

For four years the series provided a fascinating, voyeuristic view into the everyday existence of Sharon, Ozzy and two of their three children, Jack and Kelly - the couple's oldest daughter, Aimee, has conspicuously avoided the limelight. The show even continued to be broadcast as Osbourne battled with colon cancer during the second season. But while it was living in a goldfish bowl, she admits that it was an edited perspective that was presented to the world.

"People think that they know you but they don't," she says. "It's like when people break up and they ask you what you think. 'What do you mean what do I think? How do I know what people do?' When people are alone, there are only two people who know what goes on, no matter how close your family is. Relationships are about two people and it's only them who know what really goes on. Everybody else can second-guess and give an opinion, but it's not the actual truth."

She has no regrets about the show ending in 2005. "Everybody says 'would you go back to X-Factor?' but it's like, I've been there, done that," declares Osbourne, who appeared alongside Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue on the top-rating ITV programme from 2004 to 2007. "It was great to be a part of it but it's done and dusted. For me and my family, you've got to keep reinventing yourself, not just stay the same. I don't want to look back 20 years later and say 'what have you done?' 'I'm a judge.' I want to do other things. It's a great payday and a great show to work on but I don't want to be complacent. It makes you stale."

Although X-Factor is frequently attacked for fostering unrealistic expectations, Osbourne maintains that it provides invaluable opportunities that unknown talents would not otherwise have to enter the entertainment business. "People would often comment 'how many of them make it?' but a lot of them live better lives and now work in an industry that they love. It might not be to the level to which they hoped but they are absolutely working in the industry. They go from mundane jobs to doing something that they love and it opens doors. With X-Factor, some people who haven't won have gone off and done amazingly well. It's a fantastic chance for people to better themselves."

Osbourne has great respect for Simon Cowell, the mastermind behind X-Factor and America's Got Talent. "Have you noticed that he goes like 'this'," she asks, shrugging her shoulder. "I love people-studying and he is a great case study. I could watch him all day."

Indeed, her next novel, Superstar!, takes place behind the scenes of a fictional TV talent showcase. "It's about what goes on with these reality shows," Osbourne teases. "What goes on behind that desk? What really goes on.?"

Sharon Osbourne's novel, Revenge, is on sale now (Sphere $38.99).