"Poor Bruce!" is all I hear from my husband as I sit fixed to the couch watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. He's not even in the room. He has removed himself and he's huffing and puffing from somewhere else in the house.
I roll my eyes, as women dowhose menfolk don't understand the love/hate relationship we have with reality TV.
The thing with the Kardashians, though, is that underneath the dramatic smoky eye and loads of lashes, there lies a family who truly love and support each other. I say this to my husband and he responds yet again with a "Poor Bruce Jenner!"
I like them, and I want someone to come to mine every day and give me smoky eyes and cool lashes like they have. I want a Hermes bag. I expect about now you are rolling your eyes at me, but like 'em or loathe them, the Kardashians love each other with a genuine passion and compassion.
Leading the family is my new BFF Kris Jenner. What was she like? Warm, funny, likeable and honest. I caught up with her as she was driving home from the doctor. Her life is bloody busy. This mother of six runs an empire. I asked Kris what her theme was for 2014 and she said change.
"Change for me is a good positive thing. Khloe and Kourtney are moving into a new home, Kendall is looking to break out and do new things. Change and growth are hand and hand for our family this year and I'm looking forward to it."
As we talk about family she casually puts her phone on silent as Kanye West calls her on her other phone. [Note to self: "You will tell this story at dinner parties for the next 10 years.] She mentions that the house is always full, and often everyone just "arrives", and sits in the kitchen chatting while she whips up a big family dinner. At mine you'd be lucky if anyone answered the door, and then at best you'd get toasted cheese sandwiches and Diet Coke.
Which of her daughters is she most like? "I am most like a mix of Kim and Khloe growing up and when I started having kids I was like Kourtney, as all I wanted to do was be a mum."
I like her answer. It makes sense, and so does she. She's urbane, erudite and charming. No wonder she has a television empire. That's right, Kanye, you stay on hold cos I'm talkin' with momma Kris right now!
Polly Gillespie is from The Polly and Grant Show, on The Hits and iHeartRadio, which launched this week. The interview will air after 7:30am today.
