What an epic journey. That's how Neena and Belinda (right), the first New Zealand winners of My Kitchen Rules (Wednesday, TV One, 7.30pm) would see their experience. But they didn't have to sit through some of the epically dull episodes that drew the series out over 10 weeks. Neither did we, of course. Thankfully, the 30th episode - the close final cook-off against favourites Aaron and Heather - wasn't epic in the sense that it dragged on for two hours, which is often the case with these things; halfway through the third course I was in a food coma.
As the contestants' family and former competition cheered the finalists on from the equivalent of bleachers, the "modern-day hippies" sweating over their fourth batch of caramel, it was easy to be overcome by an epic sense of deja vu, having sat through the identical Aussie show. Why does MKR rate so well? Perhaps because it turns cooking into a sport. Thankfully, the teams don't come out of a cookie cutter, too. This was a very Kiwi showdown. Both teams presented impressive menus using ingredients specific to their culture, the foraging winners using horopito, nettles and wild passionfruit, and tapping into the foodie zeitgeist, using "healthier" options such as coconut oil for frying and dates for sweetening. (Note the less virtuous deep-fried zucchini flowers stuffed with halloumi.)
There was just one point between the two teams in the end. Sweet-natured and arguably more marketable couple Aaron and Heather impressed the judges with an "extravaganza" oyster dish with coconut foam ramping up an upside-down ika mata. They cleverly added a shot of kava, and a shot of tequila to the dessert. The way to the judges' hearts may be through their stomachs but it helps to get them high first.
Meanwhile, the seriousness of the judging made it entertaining.
"One of the hardest things about cooking chicken for some people is getting it just perfect," said Ben Bayly, who clearly hasn't been to KFC. Grace Ramirez sounded as though she wanted to have relations with the Polynesian cooks' menu. And their lemon pie reminded Nadia Lim of "a beautiful Rarotongan girl". Yup, the tequila had definitely got to them.
