From our 'build it and they will complain' file comes the last month's decisions by the Advertising Standards Authority... there weren't any.
There were no decisions.
Oh there were complaints - there are always complaints.
Give it a name and a PO box and there will be no shortage of people with clearly very little to do with their lives that will fill the old in tray with time-wasting nonsense.
I put the Advertising Standards Authority into the same category as the Broadcasting Standards Authority - and that category is the 'your tax money down the drain' category.
In September the complaints to the advertising arm involved the National Party (given it was election season).
Subway got a complaint about their lamb roast sub. The line was "It's lamb without a dash of 'Mum's so when are you getting married... It's my kind of lambilicious".
Now the bored go-nowhere person who complained said it was disrespectful to all mothers who take pride in their cooking... I kid you not.
You are paying for people to take this crap seriously.
There was a radio ad for Burger King - it had the sound of sizzling bacon and said "Bacon ... The best sound in the world".
The dullard who wrote in whingeing said vegans would find it offensive.
Dove - their self-esteem project, as opposed to this week's soap ads - got a moan.
A girl is searching the internet: Can teens get cosmetic surgery? Am I ugly?
The ad ends with "What is your daughter searching for?" - and points to the self-esteem project.
The sorry old tragedy who found this troublesome in fact completely misunderstood the ad - and suggested it wasn't acceptable to advertise the fact you could get better self-esteem by using Dove products.
Now, apart from being an insight into just how many bored people there are who have a disposition towards misery, surely we can agree that these sort of bodies that were presumably set up in the first place with solid intention are no longer needed due to the fact that the market largely takes care of itself.
The Broadcasting Standards Authority rarely, if ever, has anything substantive to say due to the fact that broadcasters these days are basically professional operators not looking to be low-rent and cause trouble.
Same with advertisers.
So let's save some money, close them up - and be pleased they are no longer relevant or needed.