The comedian, radio announcer and performance artist formerly known as 'That Guy', Leigh Hart, has shared how he got through his marriage breakup. Photo / Greg Bowker
The comedian, radio announcer and performance artist formerly known as 'That Guy', Leigh Hart, has shared how he got through his marriage breakup. Photo / Greg Bowker
Almost two years ago, Leigh Hart and his wife of 17 years, Ange, separated. It was a tough time for the star, but he admits he “wouldn’t change anything”.
Sitting down with Hauraki’s Angelina Grey on her podcast, Mental As Anything, the popular comedian and television star opens up about what got him through some of his darkest days, crying in front of his children and how he’s moving forward after experiencing such a huge life change.
“Initially it’s just sort of shock,” he says speaking about the very early days of their separation. “There was no comedy at first. I couldn’t listen to music at all. I couldn’t eat. So if you can’t eat and listen to music, I don’t know how you can do comedy.”
But over time, as he went through the motions and his brain began processing what was happening, he says he started to become inspired a little bit more each day by everything that was happening.
“You’re literally walking around the house, in and out of the wash house, you’re just standing by the fridge, and then you’re standing over there by that lamp. What am I doing here?” he says, adding, “It didn’t feel funny at the time, but retrospectively, I think I could film a guy going through a breakup and go, ‘nothing’s become funny, you’re in the wash house now, you don’t know why, you’re just standing there staring at the ... you haven’t turned it on yet’.”
Hart says that while navigating his separation from his wife, he realised there was no quick fix - and ultimately it was something that had to happen “piece by piece”.
Comparing his healing journey to a jigsaw puzzle as he began moving things in his life around to suit his new needs, he says he started to get a sense of what was ahead of him and found solace in friends who had also gone through a separation.
Admitting his best mates would give “great advice on paper” that wasn’t entirely helpful, he found himself turning to those he wasn’t that close to. “It’s almost a guy that you don’t know that well, who you know has been through it, you suddenly connect with because they get the subtleties of it.”
He also said it helped him to spend time with his son Sammy, 18, and daughter Sophia, 16, as they are “the most familiar part of your life other than that the other person who’s left”. But one day when he was trying to spend time with them - they were both busy - and by the time he wrangled them and got them both in the car he “got quite upset”.
“I started crying and they saw me do that and it was a real sort of watershed moment,” he said, adding that there was nothing in particular that caused it - rather the big picture as a whole. “I can’t remember what it was that did that but it had to happen. I’d done it before without them seeing it.”
Leigh Hart has opened up about navigating his marriage separation. Photo / Michael Craig
“I remember saying, ‘That’s it guys, you won’t see that again.’ Not that that mattered, but I said, ‘you won’t see that again. Onwards and upwards from here’,” and used it as an opportunity to give them some advice. I said, ‘look, don’t you dare use what’s happened with me and mum as an excuse for you to go off the rails. That’s not good enough. If you did that, you’re just using it as an excuse. You’re better than that. Don’t do it.’ And they never did.”
Hart says he probably didn’t need to give them that advice - but in a roundabout way, it was something he needed to hear as well. Explaining to Grey that he loves “boozing” and drinking, he says he didn’t want to be the guy who had gone through a marriage break-up only to end up on the couch drinking bourbon in his undies and being hungover most of the time.
“It’s not a good time not to be clear-headed at least. You’re emotionally blocked, your head’s blocked up with enough stuff as it is, it doesn’t need a whole lot of hangovers and a whole lot of silly phone calls and saying things you shouldn’t have said because you’ve been drinking and stuff,” he says.
During the open and honest podcast episode, Hart added that while he had decided he wanted to focus on being more positive during his separation, he admits there is “nothing wrong” with wallowing your feelings. “You’ve got to feel the bad emotions as well as the energised and the powerful ones.”
Ultimately, while it was a difficult time in his life, he says, he’s doing better each day and tells Grey, “I wouldn’t change anything now, I don’t want us to be back together,” adding that cliches are cliches for a reason.
“Whether you call it seven stages of grief, 13 or nine or a hundred, or 14, 13 herbs and spices, 11 - whatever,” he joked, referencing the KFC slogan.
“It’s just time, and some people take longer or some will take less, but you will feel better in time.”
