The 2018 Bily T award nominees; Alice Snedden, Donna Brookbanks, Two Hearts, James Malcom and Melanie Bracewell.
Being nominated for the Billy T comedy award is no joke.
Here, we put this year's nominees in the hot seat for a quick fire round of revealing Q&As.
How would winning the Billy T Award change your lives?
With us both having been previously nominated for this award separately, we have unfinished business. Even if we die making the show our ghosts will haunt the New Zealand comedy industry until at least one of us wins it.
What's your show about?
It's party comedy, baby! We barely talk, its singing and costume changes and loud noises and lights and regretting how much money everything costs, so much money, oh God, why did we commit to this when we could have just "talked about things"?
Who is your must-see of the comedy fest?
Matt Okine from Australia. It's only a matter of time before he's as big here as he is over there; he has his own sitcom AND hosts a fancy cooking show. What a dream.
What was the first joke you ever wrote?
The first thing musical funny thing we collaborated on was Mum Money, a rap song about when your mum shouts your groceries for you. An early version appeared in a live sketch show three years ago called Fitness Club. Then we made a filmed version for Funny Girls on TV3, and we're still been performing it live. Milking it for all its worth - much like you do with your mum at the supermarket.
Not a lot of people know this about us but …
We're having a baby! (the baby is the show)
Two Hearts play the Loft, Q Theatre, May 15-19
How would winning the Billy T Award change your life?
It's the perfect way to really cement yourself in the industry. Even being nominated is a huge honour. Mostly I'll just be really, really happy for a while. Who knows?
What's your show about?
My show is called Melodrama and it's essentially about my life and how I view the world. Classic. In terms of topics, I'm talking murder documentaries, taking down the man, and of course, Lorde.
Who is your must-see of the comedy fest?
Definitely Lana Walters. She's probably the person I spend the most time with in the world, mainly because she's absolutely hilarious. She's doing her first hour this year and it's going to be spectacular. I remember when I first saw her perform, she was so good that I was actually mad about it.
What was the first joke you ever wrote?
I used to write heaps of jokes for my Tumblr account as a 14-year-old. I honestly can't remember the first one I wrote, I think it was something like "Ladies Ladies ... There's plenty of me to go around. *rips off arm*. That's for you, Barbara."
Clearly something that can only really be used in an online format.
Not a lot of people know this about me but …
I still play Neopets. I love that website so much. If you don't know what it is, it's a kids' website where you look after a pet and play games. Sorta like a Tamagotchi but it's a whole world. It's excellent. I would recommend it to every single person reading this.
Melanie Bracewell performs Melodrama at the Basement Theatre, May 15-19.
How would winning the Billy T Award change your life?
Everything I've learnt from Gwyneth Paltrow's Sliding Doors suggests it has the power to change literally every bit of my future dramatically. So I look forward to that.
What's your show about?
It's about me and what I think about things. There's no better way to describe it really. I'll be talking about me a lot. There's very little talking about other people, unless I'm talking about how those people relate to me. If you like me, I reckon you'll be into it. If you don't, I imagine it'll be a long 50 minutes. But, I suggest you buy a ticket anyway, cause the feeling you have after it's finished will be amazing. Nothing feels better than finishing something you hate and thinking, "Well, I never have to do that again."
Who is your must-see of the comedy fest?
Leon Wadham - he's wildly funny and original. You'd be an absolute fool to miss it. Plus all of the solo shows from the cast of Snort.
What was the first joke you ever wrote?
I did a speech on socks in primary school, I reckon I had a couple of hot gags in there about how you can never find them. That sort of thing.
Not a lot of people know this about me but …
My Eft-pos pin is 3525.
Alice Snedden performs Self-Titled: Volume II at Basement Theatre, May 15-19.
How would winning the Billy T Award change your life?
Trixie Mattel from RuPaul's Drag Race often says "the real race starts after Drag Race" - which means it doesn't matter who wins the competition, it's what you do with the exposure and opportunities you're given that will determine your level of success. I identify with that so much.
What's your show about?
It's about my long standing desire to become a C-list New Zealand celebrity, the things I've done to try and become famous, and my experiences on the cusp of fame. I talk a lot about my misadventures as a wannabe gay icon, pop culture and my signature brand of oversharing about my sex life.
Who is your must-see of the comedy fest?
My whole squad has their own solo shows in the Comedy Festival this year. There's James Mustapic, Lana Walters and Melanie Bracewell. I'm so proud of them.
What was the first joke you ever wrote?
I was 17 when I first started comedy, so my first joke was, "My mum's here tonight, she's so supportive. I wouldn't be where I am today without her … literally. I'm not legally allowed to be in this bar without parental supervision."
Not a lot of people know this about me but …
The first time I came out as gay was on stage doing stand-up. I hadn't fully accepted it myself then, but it was the funniest punchline for the joke. It was about a crazy stalker girl who was desperate to date me and I yelled out in front of the crowd, "Girl, her gaydar was way off," and in my head I was like, "Oh, I guess I really am gay."
James Malcolm performs Fameless at Vault, Q Theatre, May 15-19
How would winning the Billy T Award change your life?
As well as helping to pay my rent, it would mean I could laud it over my other comedy pals and constantly remind them of it by bringing the yellow towel to the most unnecessary places.
What's your show about?
The nightmares we create in our head about having to be social, trying to #liveyourbestlife, being too hard on yourself. It's also very silly.
Who is your must-see of the comedy fest?
All the Snort guys but none of the other Billy T's. Nah, go see them, they're pretty good. Internationally, Tessa Waters. Locally, Rose Matafeo is killing it and I'm looking forward to Ray Shipley's debut Auckland show.
What was the first joke you ever wrote?
Something about how if you wear a wetsuit on a roller coaster you don't have to empty out your pockets cos you don't have any? ... The wetsuit idea ended up becoming a relatively big part of my show last year, so it wasn't all bad.
Not a lot of people know this about me but …
I can't run with my hands in my pockets. I fall over.
Donna Brookbanks performs You Do You Babes at Basement Theatre, May 15-19.
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