Meet Married at First Sight NZ’s new expert Jo Robertson - Spy

Will Jo Robertson be the Yin to Australian expert John Aiken’s Yang on the show? Photo / Supplied

Don’t expect train-wreck drama from participants in the new season of Married at First Sight NZ, with our local relationship and sex therapist Jo Robertson set to be the Yin to Australian expert John Aiken’s Yang on the show.

Unlike MAFS Australia’s relationship panel of three, the Three version coming out next month will have just the duo of Aiken and Robertson.

In January, Aiken told Spy he would call out Kiwis’ bad behaviour, hold participants to account, dish out home truths and ultimately try to help the participants find the love they’re looking for.

The recent season of the Aussie version, which wound up this month, saw the heat turned up on producers, with contestants blaming their edits for severe trolling online.

Robertson tells Spy she asked local producers a lot of questions about how the participants would be treated, the ethics of the show and how producers were approaching it all.

“I felt confident through conversations I had with producers, and decisions that were made while we were filming, that the participants’ wellness was always the top priority,” Robertson tells Spy.

“Of course, I’m not around the whole time, I can only go off what I saw and talked about – but I confidently left the show feeling my integrity was intact.”

Roberston says she and Aiken made a great team and worked very intuitively with each other – knowing who the right person was to say which thing to which participant.

“We have different strengths, and one thing I made sure to offer as much as I could was practical strategies for change.

“I hope viewers will feel empowered to put some of these strategies in place in their own lives too.”

As for the bunch of singles she and Aiken selected to match up and meet at the altar, Robertson says that for the most part they were kind, respectful and very well-intentioned.

“They brought their best to the process, really committed to not just finding love, but also learning more about themselves.

“I don’t know all of what will make it to air, but love was definitely a priority on our season.”

Robertson says that in the coming season, the conversations around chemistry and attraction stand out.

“Overall, I think Kiwis move a little more slowly, potentially protecting themselves a bit, but there was also some fireworks in there.”

Robertson has been in practice for more than 14 years and is a mum to three young boys with her “fantastic” husband Dave. They celebrated their 14-year anniversary last week.

Roberston is a parenting educator, community advocate, public speaker and researcher. Photo / Supplied

Robertson, who specialises in betrayal and trauma, says her career has always been oriented around the needs of others, particularly the areas in life that are hardly ever talked about – people’s sex lives, their shame, and their secrets.

Roberston is also a parenting educator, community advocate, public speaker and researcher.

“I could never be just one thing, I will always wear many hats – my husband calls me an octopus, with many tentacles in many different areas.”

Robertson’s research into how accessible porn and illegal content have become available to children online has turned into a crusade to see change.

“I’ve sought to understand what’s available to them, how that may impact on them, and what we can do about it as the adults in their life.

“There are still far too many million sites showing the real abuse of women, children and animals available on the internet – videos our kids can see at any moment – normalising and eroticising sexual violence.”

Last week Robertson and her colleague Holly Brooker submitted a petition to Parliament about regulating illegal content online.

Robertson also advocates porn awareness through Ted X talks and podcasts.

When it comes to sex and relationship therapy, she says Kiwis are openly talking about it far more than they did 10 years ago and she is pleased at the growing number of dedicated podcasts on the subject.

Roberston explains the core issues haven’t changed much, whether it be questions around libido, how to maintain an enjoyable sex life with a long-term partner, integrating intimacy into parenting life, or one person finding it harder to reach climax.

“One area that isn’t necessarily new but I’m seeing much more of recently is the impact of stress, pressure and anxiety on intimacy.

“Couples are so busy now, overwhelmed with life’s tasks and expectations, and their relationship and sex life is often hanging on by a thread at the bottom of the priority list.”

Robertson especially loves working with women who are rebuilding themselves, with or without their partner, after a relationship trauma.

“Whether that’s finding out their husband had a child in an affair with another partner, or their partner coming out as gay and wanting to leave them.

“These women are so gritty and powerful, it’s my privilege to just be on the journey with them.”