Ke Huy Quan kisses his award for best performance by an actor in a supporting role for "Everything Everywhere All at Once" at the Governors Ball after the Oscars on Sunday, March 12, 2023, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. Photo / AP
Ke Huy Quan kisses his award for best performance by an actor in a supporting role for "Everything Everywhere All at Once" at the Governors Ball after the Oscars on Sunday, March 12, 2023, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. Photo / AP
Last week, Ke Huy Quan won an Oscar for his role in the excellent Everything, Everywhere All At Once. But during his gracious acceptance speech, he looked down the camera and delivered an average piece of advice to the world, “Please keep your dreams alive. I nearly gave upon mine… dreams are something you have to believe in.”Unfortunately, most grand dreams like Quan’s don’t come true. I believe we are more likely to find happiness in life if we choose goals other than those based on awards, admiration and fame.
In the 80s, Quan played Short Round in Indiana Jones and Data in The Goonies. Then dropped out of the limelight. He’s craved a return ever since. He told the audience, “My wife Echo, month after month year after year for 20 years, told me that one day my time will come.”
That’s two decades tying his self-worth to a future result he didn’t control. You have power over how hard you work, the choices you make, and the attitude you bring - but external rewards are up to complex forces beyond you. His dream was a one-in-a-million. Most who dream as large don’t get there.
Ke Huy Quan kisses his award for best performance by an actor in a supporting role for "Everything Everywhere All at Once" at the Governors Ball. Photo / AP
No matter how much you want or dream, many things must go your way for a dream, like his, to come true. In acting, the director needs to be great, and the script, marketing and release date need to work.
Of course, everyone is allowed to have a dream; go for it. It might even work out. You may, however, be surprised at how little happiness it brings you. There are healthier approaches to a career. Ones that lead to more consistently happy lives. Bryan Cranston, star of Breaking Bad and Malcolm in the Middle, had been focusing on his acting “dream” with little success, but one day had a realisation.
“An actor is supposed to create a compelling and interesting character that serves the text, to present it, and then walk away. That’s it. Everything else that happens is out of your control, so don’t even think about it, don’t focus on it. You’re going there to present what you do. You act. And there it is. There’s power in that. The decision of who might get a job or how your work is received is so out of your control, it makes no sense to hold on to it. Once I adopted that philosophy, I never looked back, and I’ve never been happier or busier in my life.”
Cranston believes success should be defined not by the outcome but by the process. If you love acting, your goal should be to become the best actor you can be wherever you happen to be doing it. It’s the same for a plumber. You can dream of owning 20 vans with your name on them, out there working for you, but the fact you have that dream will not manifest it. If, on the other hand, your goal is to work hard and act honourably day to day as you improve your craft and business, you can feel pride - no matter how successful you are.
Bryan Cranston played meth kingpin Walter White in Breaking Bad. Photo / AP
I recently interviewed Kiwi music producer and songwriter Joel Little on the Matt and Jerry Podcast. He’s experienced massive success in his career. Young Dumb & Broke, a song he wrote and produced with Khalid, has just gone 10 times platinum in the States, not to mention his work with Lorde, Sam Smith, Taylor Swift and many more. He told me “I’ve written a lot of songs that could have done better and didn’t. There is just so much stuff that is out of your hands. The record label has to do their thing. There is timing. So long as I am enjoying the process of making it, doing it with people I like and am proud of what I made, then that’s great. It’s all I really have control over.”
As much as I love Ke Huy Quan’s work, I disagree with his advice about dreams. He wanted and got his Oscar. History suggests happiness is unlikely to follow unless he loves what he does more than the admiration. Better advice might be ‘to base your self-worth on things you control, not the attainment of fame and glory. Do your best day-to-day for your family, friends, workmates and community. Be a good person, work hard on your craft, gain competence, and you will earn the right to feel quietly proud of yourself no matter what. That’s a real reward’.
Not as crowd-pleasing as Ke Huy Quan’s teary-eyed “Dreams are something you have to believe in”, but potentially more helpful.
