Married At First Sight Australia: James Weir recaps 2023 episode 25

This MAFS couple stuns everyone with an announcement that leaves the experts unable to hide their true feelings.

OPINION:

It takes a lot for a toxic couple on Married At First Sight to stun everyone with a stupid decision, given the basic premise of the show revolves around toxic couples doing stupid things.

But that’s what happens at Sunday night’s commitment ceremony, which is rebranded as the Stupid Decision Convention.

Here, at the Stupid Decision Convention, there’s one challenge: to make decisions that are so stupid they leave the other slack-jawed competitors looking like level-headed members of society. Tonight, it’s the championships.

James Weir recaps: Read all the recaps and other MAFS stories here.

The first couple in the ring to act stupid? Alyssa and Duncan. Their relationship is absolutely fine. But Alyssa is determined to make it tumultuous and moody because, really, if you’re in a relationship without any problems, things get a little boring.

And when things get boring, it’s time to make a stupid decision by picking a fight over nothing. Alyssa has been laying the groundwork all week, accusing Duncan of ignoring her when, really, he’s nothing but a tolerant prince.

“I feel sick,” she scampers off the couch and clomps across the hardwood floors to the door.

Um … bye?

Duncan sprints after his wife and finds her in the hallway of the warehouse, frantically tapping the button of the elevator.

“I wanna go, I wanna leave,” she sobs. “Please leave me alone.”

Moments pass. The stubbornly slow lift doesn’t arrive. She storms off down a hallway in the opposite direction, in search of the fire escape stairwell.

Always take the stairwell to avoid awkward elevator chat with your husband or colleagues.

“I wanna go,” she sniffs again.

The clip-clop-clip-clop of her heels echoes around the concrete corridor. PING! The elevator finally arrives. Alyssa runs back as the metal doors slide open.

“I just wanna go!” she yells, hurling her body inside.

Duncan leans in the doorway of the lift and stares at his wife.

“Do you not want me to com-” he finally asks, just as the metal doors clamp shut.

Duncan returns to the couch alone.

“Ahhh … she’s left,” he sighs. “She made it clear she needed to leave this space and (didn’t) want me near her. It feels like I’m walking on eggshel-”

The door to the warehouse rattles open. Alyssa clomps back in.

Um... Hi?

The experts ask for their decisions. Well, Alyssa has already given her decision — she’s leavin-

“STAY,” she holds up her card. “Can we get off the couch, please?”

Girl, please do.

Go ride the elevator.

Next up is the headline act of the Stupid Decision Convention – heavyweight champs Harrison and Bronte. Harrison immediately dobs on Melinda to the experts for calling him fake at the retreat. Once again, Claire provides premium cutaway reactionary facial expressions.

Well done.

Now, last time we saw these ratbags, Harrison had just dumped Bronte by text message and she was thanking the other wives for opening her eyes to her husband’s manipulative ways. Obviously, she will be using this commitment ceremony to call him out for his bad behaviour. Then she’ll stride out of the experiment, single and fabulou-

“I’m still falling for Harrison,” she smiles to the experts. “When I said I wanted to leave, it was because I was scared.”

Sexpert Alessandra shoots Bronte a look that says one thing: “Srsly?”

Gurl.

Harrison has a routine he has been rehearsing for the Stupid Decision Convention.

“I really reject the notion that I ever manipulated Bronte,” he says, emotionless.

The experts collectively roll their eyes at him.

Gurrrl.

But Harrison is on a roll with his stupidity.

“I’ve noticed a theme … where Bronte gets worked up and emotional and she maybe exaggerates,” he says before adding that he can’t see how he contributes to his relationship issues in any way.

John Aiken drops his head into his hands out of frustration with this situation that he helped create.

You helped make this mess.

Then the experts ask for the decisions. Huh? Harrison broke up with Bronte over text. The decision has already been made. There are no more decisions.

“My trust was kinda broken this week,” Harrison sighs before revealing his card. “But we are two imperfect people who got matched in this experiment. (We’re) doing our best and I kinda wanna keep doing our best. So I wrote ‘stay’.”

We’re too exhausted to even entertain this nonsense. Bronte? Do you also have a stupid decision to present at the convention? Of course you do.

“I don’t like to make long-term decisions based on short-term feelings. I’m not ready to let this go,” she beams, revealing her decision to stay.

Lyndall groans and speaks up.

“You cried to me and said all the girls were right! And I’m sitting here and I have to be honest, girl, I feel f***in’ stupid,” she yells.

That’s the thing about stupid decisions made at the Stupid Decision Convention. It’s often the people witnessing the stupid decisions who are made to feel the most stupid.

No comment.

By the time it comes to Claire and Jesse, we worry they’ll try out-stupiding everyone. Last time we saw them, Jesse had a breakdown and admitted he reckons Claire’s only remaining in the experiment to repair her image after cheating on him.

Producers are madly whispering into the experts’ earpieces. They can’t afford to lose another couple. There’s still a few more weeks of episodes to fill.

John Aiken gets to work, taking a leaf out of Harrison’s book by manipulating Jesse into thinking he should stay.

“You have feelings for her! You have the ability to turn things around! Do you think that’s something you might be able to do, Jesse?” he urges.

The producers start playing emotional swirling music that builds to a crescendo.

Then the record needle scratches.

“No,” Jesse blurts. “Claire cheated on me. I have stretched myself so much.”

He holds up his card. He’s outta here.

Not a stupid decision.

And so is Claire. She has already trapped her husband once. Trapping him a second time would hinder her campaign to fix her image.

So they’re both gone.

Finally, a sensible decision.

MAFS Australia is available to stream first on ThreeNow or on Three Sunday 7pm and Mon to Weds 7.30pm.