What will the future hold for Frankie and Marilyse? Photo / Discovery
What will the future hold for Frankie and Marilyse? Photo / Discovery
Tonight, we met Amy, a sports journalist who thinks she is most guys dream girl. She's certain she is such a hot commodity that she has written a novel of a wish list.
Meet Amy, the crystal queen with an open third eye. Photo / Discovery
Would you believe it! I'm sensing a theme between women with wish lists and ending up on reality shows looking for love.
Amy wants to be married and have kids, two things she was close to ticking off her list until her fiance ditched her and her twin babies died during pregnancy - an experience that led her to connect intensely with her spirituality.
I totally understand; nothing is more comforting than a rock-hard crystal.
The experts decided Amy, the woman who wants to settle down, would be perfect with Josh, a 26-year-old man whose frontal lobe may or may not be developed.
Josh is exactly what you would expect from a mid-20s lad. He's either with his mates or out partying and when it comes to settling down, he's adamant he won't meet his wife on a Saturday night, which leaves nowhere else for him to meet a woman so obviously he had to come on a reality TV… with a wish list.
He wants a woman who is specifically a size 10+, brunette, with a pretty face.
"These two won't know it when they first meet, but they're perfect for each other." matchmaker Paul C Brunson expressed.
Are we just going to ignore the maturity and life-stage difference here? Hello? Anyone?
The next couple we met tonight was made up of Frankie, a chauvinistic, I want a mother not a wife, "smells the good in people", ex-military man. But for legal reasons, he is great!
So great he will even let his woman run the house!
What an ideal man.
The experts matched him up with Marilyse. A genuine sweetheart who is looking for a more dominant, alpha male type. Someone to really take control.
I'll give it to the experts, that match kind of made sense.
Daniel Craig or Frankie from MAFS UK? Who knows. Photo / Discovery
As Daniel Craig, sorry, Frankie, arrived at his wedding he did a little twirl in front of both families. "My military background prepared me for this." He confidently said.
I missed the memo, since when did the military start marrying you off to strangers?
Meanwhile, Amy was a whole hour and a half late to her wedding, leaving poor Josh standing at the altar. It's one thing to be stood up by someone you love but a whole other thing to be rejected before you even met them.
"If she doesn't show up I won't be trying to find no glass slipper." Josh told the confession cam as he secretly planned his next Saturday night out with the lads.
Jager bombs or tequila shots? They'll let the women at the bar who aren't marriage worthy decide.
Ah but then Amy eventually did turn up and he thought she was gorgeous, not gorgeous enough to stop his internal meltdown though. He's only 26! He's not ready for marriage.
Thankfully he pulled it together long enough to seal the deal with an incredibly awkward peck on the cheek.
The faces of two people who really regret what just happened. Photo / Discovery
The hard-to-please Frankie was stoked with his bride: "She walked round there like a princess, she walked very elegantly."
It's all about the elegant walk, hear that ladies?
And Marilyse was pretty happy with her Daniel Craig lookalike. When the time came to seal their marriage with a kiss, she was straight in there for a snog.
After Josh and Amy's wedding photos were done, Josh wasn't convinced he would enjoy his marriage to someone so interested in spirituality: "If I don't really connect to her and that side of her personality, I don't think it will work."
Amy, however, screamed across the room to her friends "he's a Scorpio!" It was great news - unlike Megan finding out Bob was a Leo.
You heard it here first, Scorpios are in, Leos are out and Josh is wondering what the hell he got himself into.
Marilyse told Frankie about her kids and dedicated to his charming Daniel Craig act he swooned his new wife with his answer, "I think children are ace, I'm looking forward to meeting them."
What will the future hold for Frankie and Marilyse? Photo / Discovery
But I smelt a rat.
At their reception, Frankie wasn't so charming when he told his bride he couldn't wait for their honeymoon when she would get up every morning and make him breakfast.
Oh, it wasn't a rat, silly me, it was the toxic red flags surrounding Frankie. Duh.
Finally, alone, I think you can guess what happened next. Marilyse more or less told Frankie she would be sleeping on the bed and he would be sleeping on the couch to which he said, "that's quite a knock back."
He is going to be truly great TV once Nikita meets him. Imagine her calling him a 'divvy', personally, I can't wait to see it.
Amy and Josh didn't have a great night either, with Josh asking about Amy's spiritual life and her looking at him like he had three heads – which is odd because she has three eyes open apparently.
When Josh had the audacity to ask where the night would go, she knocked his hook-up culture brain to the curve. "I mean yeah, we're obviously not going to have sex."
When you wanted a mature woman, different from those you meet on a Saturday night and she actually is mature and different. Photo / Discovery
The man-child rolled his eyes and I learnt that MAFS UK is basically men with entitlement and women with unrealistic wish lists.
