KEY POINTS:
Pop priestess Madonna's adoption of two-year-old David Banda has finally been approved by the Malawian government.
Madge and hubby Guy Richie have been anxiously awaiting news about whether they would be allowed to keep baby David, and now In Touch magazine reveals a government report that says the couple will.
The pair has reportedly passed a recent visit from a Malawi social welfare official with flying colours.
The report official says: "Mrs. Ritchie presents a confident and able parent. There are clear indications that David is becoming a happy, secure toddler."
The report concludes with a recommendation that "it is in the best interest of the child" to be adopted by the Ritchies.
It's been over a year since the couple flew baby David back to Britain with them - amid a flurry of bad publicity that Madge had used her celebrity as a tool to side-step the adoption process.
But the serial mum seems unfazed by the bad press and is reportedly on the hunt for a baby sister to join David.
UK celebrity mag Look is reporting that Madge has sent a team of her minions to two-year-old David's native Malawi, saying: "Don't rest until you've found me my princess."
Papa don't preach
But it wasn't just the press that had a field-day with Madge's penchant for baby scooping.
Banda's father also appeared to have the wobbles at one point, with reports emerging that he would not have agreed to the adoption had he realised it would mean giving David up "for good".
However, Yohane Banda later had a change of heart.
"I don't want my child, who is already gone, to come back. I will be killing his future," he was quoted as saying.
A source tells In Touch, "Madonna hid it well, but there was a part of her that was worried that the adoption wouldn't go through. This is the best Christmas gift she's ever received."
And just as we're overcome with a case of the warm fuzzies, Madge reminds us all that you simply can't keep her down.
Word has it that the pop fossil acted like a true diva during a yoga class at the Reebok Sports Club in NYC last weekend.
A source tells The New York Post: "Madonna started talking to the instructor and he told her talking wasn't allowed, she replied, 'I need to speak to you', and then said to the class, 'I want you all to leave".
The teacher succumbed to her demands and left the building with 25 of his students scuttling sheepishly in tow.
Meanwhile, Madonna stayed in the room stroking her yoga stretch marks and wouldn't budge when another dance class turned up for a session.
Madge, Karma's a bitch - especially if you behave like one.
Ooooh, Miaow!
Just when it looked as though today was a total waste of make-up...
Along comes Sharon Osbourne who launches a scathing attack on fellow X Factor judge Dannii Minogue.
The gobby Osbourne, never one to mince her words, slagged off Minogue for her good looks and flirtatious behaviour with Simon Cowell.
Osbourne told UK chat-show host Graham Norton: "Dannii knows she's on the show because of her looks, not because of her contribution to the music industry."
Fuelling rumours that Minogue is involved in a romantic dalliance with Cowell, she added: "She's younger. She's better-looking. Simon wants her and he doesn't want me ... thank God!"
Sources: heatworld.co.uk, Starpulse.com
One-track mind
Men in Black actor Will Smith says he managed to steer clear of drugs as a teenager - because he was too busy having sex.
Smith, 39, says: "Through my teenage years I was too focused on sex to even think about any other vices. I'm much the same now. No drugs and only the occasional drink."
Get a room.
Source: Contactusic
Back to the fore
Bug-eyed rocker Marilyn Manson has a sacred piece of memorabilia that he hopes will one day make him a fortune - his foreskin.
The dark knight's mother, Barb Warner, keeps the leftover skin from his circumcision in a small jar, and Manson says they joke about the potential value of such an item.
He says, "It's in more of a contact lens case, kind of like a shriveled up Lifesaver. If she ever came here, she would wave it around. We're hoping Sotheby's (auction house) one day."
I could scribble an endless stream of bad puns, but I shan't. Some things are below the belt, and Manson's manhood is one of them.
Source: WENN
Baby on board?
Uma Thurman has sparked speculation that she's in the pudding club.
The Kill Bill actress has been papped sporting what looks like a curious bump.
Check out these pictures
All that glisters...
Paris Hilton has a very short memory.
The pointless socialite seems to have conveniently forgotten she was incarcerated for abusing the booze and going for a cruise (drink driving, darlings).
Hilton has struck gold with a barmy new venture promoting the very poison that turned her into a jailbird - champagne.
Bottoms up
The 26-year-old hotel heiress' time inside was clearly well spent.
Hilton hit upon the brainwave to launch her very own sparkling wine, and adds a touch of class to proceedings by canning it.
Yup, champagne in a can. Dead classy.
And what better way to launch the bubbly tipple than to strip off, cover yourself in gold paint, and writhe about like a serpent on heat with the Mojave Dessert in the background?
Genius idea, we'll take it.
Hilton unveiled her trashy thirst quencher by posing 007 Goldfinger-style. See pictures here.
Crikey, this must be the first time Hilton's willingly been photographed starkers. Well, it makes a change from going commando and flashing her Britney every time she steps from a car.
Meanwhile, Hilton is currently in Europe promoting her tinned froth.
Click here to see the exhibitionist giving Berlin partygoers an impromptu pole dance and popping a few corks.
Sources: Metro.co.uk, Page Six, Entertainmentwise.com
Banks on Britney
Celebrity gossip blogs galore have been buzzing with the news that Tyra Banks was quoted as saying Britney Spears should "kill herself".
Reports claimed the model cum talk show host was overheard saying that Spears should go the way of Marilyn Monroe and top herself by taking a drug overdose.
A source said: "Tyra was saying, really loudly, 'Britney should just go ahead and kill herself after the album and go out like Marilyn, very grand. She should have done it after the last album'. It was terrible, nobody could believe she was saying it, let alone saying it without caring who heard!"
However, a rep for Tyra now dismisses the allegations, saying: "This is absolutely not true."
Could Tyra's alleged outburst been before or after she was caught in a "fat fight" with Janice Dickinson?
I can hear Tyra now: "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
Jacko's back
No, not that one, the other one.
Janet Jackson's comeback single, Feedback has 'leaked' online.
It's hot, hot, and hot.
Tune in here.
Hoff the wagon (again)
David Hasselhoff was rushed to hospital suffering alcohol poisoning twice in three days, according to reports.
The Hoff, who has been battling alcoholism for years, checked himself into Los Angeles' Cedars Sinai Medical Center on 3 December and again on 5 December (07), following drinking binges.
The National Enquirer claims he was diagnosed with severe alcohol poisoning on both occasions.
The tabloid also reports that Hoff's family has been left devastated by his latest "slip" and was even more distraught when he refused to allow them to visit him in hospital.
A source tells the Enquirer, "David was a total mess. He'd urinated on himself. He was drooling and slurring so badly you couldn't understand a word he said".
"He goes into the hospital with alcohol poisoning, comes out and says he's cured, and then does it again. Taylor and Hayley fear their nightmare will end with a call from cops saying: 'We've found your father dead.'"
Sources: contactmusic.com, National Enquirer
I'm anxious, y'all!
Britney Spears is now blaming her no-show for her court deposition on severe anxiety.
The pop mess was supposed to give her deposition in court on Wednesday, but she failed to turn up.
Spears, who is currently in a bitter custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline, cited a "general (medical) condition" as a reason for her absence.
Well, that "condition" has now been identified, thanks to Spears' dancer pal Sam Lufti.
In an email to People.com, he writes, "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much".
But less than 24 hours later, the mysterious "medical condition" appeared to have rectified itself as the hillbilly was filmed driving around until 2am before a throng of paparazzi.
During the night/day she pulled into a gas station, and then proceeded to drive off without her assistant. The poor stooge had to call Brit Brit to remind her she wasn't in the car. Ooops!
Watch the incident here.
Dear, oh dear, oh dear - I don't think there's a collective name for a pair of thickies.
Who's got varicose brains? Who's more twit than wit? Answers on a postcard, please.
Fast gossip
Give me five minutes, and I'll tell you everything...
Julia Roberts has man arms: Celebrity Smack
Kylie gets kinky: WIMB
Britney's madness blamed on sugar addiction: Cele|bitchy
Lindsay Lohan goes back to the studio: Just Jared
Cyndi Lauper still thinks she's 20: Daily Stab
Mel Gibson looks squiffy: Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Johnny Depp gonna be Pee-Wee? Daily Stab
Hilary Duff picks her nose: Pink is the New Blog
Pamela Anderson and Rick Solomon are getting a reality show: Celebslam
James Blunt is a ladies man: The Blemish
