Madonna goes GaGa in TV 'catfight' (+video)

Pop diva Madonna and Lady GaGa square-off in TV catfight. Photo / AP

Scantily-clad Pop divas

Madonna

and

Lady GaGa

have faced off and sorted out their pr-generated 'rivalry' - during a name-calling, hair-pulling brawl on live TV.

Queen of pop Madge and crown contender GaGa (yeah, right), appeared together on stage for the first time, and battled it out in kinky leather lingerie and thigh-high boots for a good ol' fashioned catfight on US TV show

Saturday Night Live

.

During the TV show's mock-up music segment called

Deep Dish

, the Gaga-Madonna pairup launched into a lame dance-off, before the supposed 'rivalry' got the better of them and a bout of girl-on-girl wrestling ensued.

Mid-performance, GaGa hurled the first insult, singing: "What's wrong Madonna? Can't get into the groove?", before a riled Madge reached over and grabbed a chunk of GaGa's blonde locks, screaming, "Looks like your wig needs a fix!"

Cue smackdown and a cheap skit which was probably concocted in all of five seconds on the back of a coaster.

"What the hell is a disco stick?" shouted Madge coyly, before presenter

Kenan Thompson

summoned the 'squabbling' pair to sit on the couch and cool off.

Who's the true Queen of Pop?

"Guess what Madonna, I'm totally hotter than you," cooed GaGa. To which Madge replied, "Hey, guess what, I'm taller than you. What sort of a name is Lady GaGa? It sounds like baby food!"

GaGa retorted: "The kind of name that is number one on the Billboard chart."

The 'comedy' pair ended the skit by puckering up and moving in for a trademark Madonna-

Britney

'faux lesbian' kiss (yep, she's still flogging that old horse), before Thompson leaned in and got in on the action with a three-way smooch.

Video: Madonna's SNL appearance

Poor Madge. On stage she simply dazzles, but stick her on a screen and ask her to flex her thespian skills and it all turns to mud - she'll falter and display the comic timing of a turnip. Case in point:

Swept Away

. That hideous, car-crash-of-a-film directed by her now ex hubby

Guy Ritchie

. Cor blimey 'gov, what a stinker!

Let's hope her daughter

Lourdes

fares better on the acting front. Mini Madge is reportedly keen to follow in her showbiz mum's footsies and pursue a life in the limelight, reports the

Daily Mail

.

We digress...

Fresh from her staged wrestling match, GaGa later returned to perform megahit

LoveGame,

wearing

what can only be described as a giant gyrascope on her person.

Video: Lady Gaga on Saturday Night Live

But there is a silver lining to the Madge-GaGa slap-on. It gives us the perfect excuse to drag this old classic out from the vaults. Yes, it's that handbag-swinging low-down-dirty-catfight between

Dynasty

superbitches

Alexis

and

Krystle

. Watch and learn, Madge.

Best line: "If you want a rematch, just whistle...If you can!"

Speaking of things Madonna-related...

Former Mr. Madonna

Sean Penn

is in a bit of a pickle after he allegedly attacked a paparazzi on Friday, according to

TMZ

You'll need to suspend your disbelief for a sec, but the website claims Penn "went ballistic" on said paparazzo during an alleged incident outside of the Brentwood Country Mart in Los Angeles.

A

snap posted

on TMZ shows Penn with his leg elevated and pointing towards the pap. Which doesn't really prove anything. Penn could have simply broken out in a

surprise fit of folk dancing

Word at the water cooler says the cameraman,

Jordan Dawes

, is filing a police report over the alleged incident.

Li-Lo low

Things are not looking up for

Lindsay Lohan

on the popularity front.

Li-Lo was hired to emcee the F1 Rocks Event in Singapore last week after Pussycat Doll

Nicole Scherzinger

pulled out at the last minute.

But things didn't go as well as Li-Lo would have hoped. The crowd jeered and booed her as she took to the stage:

Oh, the shame.

Sexiest woman alive

Kate Beckinsale

is the sexiest woman alive, according to

Esquire

magazine.

The

Underworld

actress, 36, is honoured with the enviable title in the November issue of the mag.

“This whole notion of being named ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ is going to earn me quite a beating,” she said.

“You can’t have that title with four brothers. I’ll get wedgies. Headlocks. Noogies.” Lucky girl.

And just in case you're not quite convinced Beckinsale has what it takes in the sexy stakes, out pops this shameless promo video by the mag folk championing the lady herself - complete with bedroom-beckoning, come-hither glances and panty-cavorting. It's all, we're sure of it, in the best possible taste...

It's all very pretty. But what does it all mean?

Sweet, not sour

Britian's

The Sun

newspaper claims that the new

Sugababes

line-up have had their first big bust-up.

The tabloid blames the supposed war of words on a photoshoot in London last week when band member

Amelle Berrabah

's mobile phone kept going off, annoying both

Heidi Range

and newbie

Jade Ewen

.

A snitch said: "The others were kept waiting and got increasingly wound up.

"Heidi has seen it all before but Jade just wanted to get on and get the job done. Their management had to come down hard on the girls and tell them to behave."

Said shoot was supposedly halted for a couple of hours "to let the girls calm down".

A ringing mobile does not a bust-up make, guys. Sheesh!

Fast gossip

Penelope Cruz

and

Javier Bardem

engaged?

NYDN

Khloe Kardashian

shows off HUGE wedding Ring:

CS

Snapped:

Katy Perry

and

Russell Brand

:

M

Spotted:

Brangelina

and the twinsies:

HP

Lohan

's best look. Ever:

EW

Phone sex keeps

Mariah Carey

's marriage alive:

OK

Jude Law

confirmed as baby daddy:

SP

Hayden Panettiere

wants to go to Wonder Woman island:

HS

Robert Pattinson

in line to play

Prince Harry

:

OK

Cristiano Ronaldo

'cursed by a wizard':

H

Happy 40th birthday

Gwen Stefani

:

P

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Pictured: Madonna, Lady Gaga & Britney. Photos / AP, Getty Images

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