KEY POINTS:
The court showdown between Paul McCartney and estranged wife Heather Mills is in full swing.
The acrimonious pair has already made their second appearance in court this week to finalise their divorce.
But unlike the very public mud slinging that has gone on between the two for the past two years, their latest battle is being conducted behind closed doors.
But that doesn't stop us from dishing the dirt on proceedings.
Here's what happened on day two of the Mucca vs. Mills soap opera:
* The tense atmosphere in court was eased when Sir Paul McCartney reportedly shook hands with Mills's personal trainer and buddy Ben Amigoni, 23.
The pair had supposedly clashed in the past over Macca's suspicions that Mills's (so-called Mucca because of her alleged porn past) was taking Amigoni's role as personal trainer a bit too literally.
* The judge imposed a gagging order preventing Macca and Mucca from blabbing about any details of the hearing. He warned them they faced being in contempt of court if any details were made public.
Here's a list of what Mucca is reportedly asking for in the divorce settlement:
* Two of their houses
* 24-hour security
* Two full time nannies for daughter Bea
* A personal trainer, household staff and secretary
* Medical expenses for her and Bea for life
* McCartney to pay for her entourage whenever she travels; and
Where there's Mucca there's brass...
She's after some cash too - a rumoured 100m (NZ$246m) to be exact.
Remarkably, Mills is still representing herself in court, which no doubt makes for some fascinating displays of turrets from the indignant philanthropist.
Somehow, I don't think screaming "I've been treated worse than a paedophile!" at the judge will go down too well.
The case is expected to last for five days, and, sadly, we won't get to know what the financial settlement is.
Or won't we?
If the pair can't agree on anything in court, there's a possibility they'll take the case to the Court of Appeal. This would mean all the details are made public.
Meanwhile, Mills is apparently planning to flee once she cashes in.
Sources: dailymail.co.uk, holymoly.co.uk
This just in...
Paris Hilton's brother, Barron Hilton, has been arrested on suspicion of DUI.
Barron Hilton allegedly blew a 0.14 on his breath test for blood alcohol - which is almost double the adult limit of 0.08 in California.
This 18-year-old could be in deep, deep trouble.
And here's the mugshot.
What daddy Hilton said: "I haven't been contacted yet by either my son or the police. If what I have heard is true, it is very disturbing and I will have a lot to say -- but it will be to my son, not the media."
More details emerging...
Barron Hilton is reported to have struck a gas station attendant as he careered into a gas station just off the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, PageSix.com reveals.
The station worker, Fernando Tellez, was reportedly unharmed when Barron's black Mercedes bumped into him between 6:00 and 6:30 a.m. (local time).
But the worker insisted on calling the cops.
"I was knocked to the ground," Tellez claims.
"The Mercedes lost control as it was turning into the gas station and Barron got out of the car and he was totally drunk and couldn't walk straight."
Meanwhile, Los Angeles County Sheriff Spokesperson Steve Whitmore confirms the arrest.
"We can confirm that Barron Hilton was arrested under the suspicion of driving under the influence at 8:04 a.m."
Barron "will be released when it is safe to proceed, either by getting a ride or when he is able to drive himself," Whitmore added.
Sources: Pagesix.com, Usmagazine.com, TMZ.com
Good God, grandma!
Hats off to Tina Turner - what an amazing woman.
Are you seriously telling me that Turner is 68?
Here she is belting out some fabulous tunes at the Grammys, and showing newbie Beyonce how to really shake a tail feather, girl.
Tyra's Eartha Kitt
Model-cum-TV personality Tyra Banks allegedly had a rather unfortunate accident at Fashion Week.
Former New York "It" boy and Paper magazine blogger Fabian Basabe claims on his blog that the model, how do I put this delicately... soiled herself during the sartorial shindig.
Basabe was filming an interview segment when he was suddenly turfed out of one of the fashion suites.
The reason? Tyra needed to change her clothes.
She'd had an accident.
Her minions were reportedly well prepared and had a quick change of clothes for the diva.
I know someone soiling themselves is hardly newsworthy, and I'm not normally one to gossip, but...WTF?
Source: gawker.com
Vexed over veils
Oh dear, a s*** storm is brewing over Michael Jackson's uncharacteristic unveiling of his kids last week.
The surrogate mother of Wacko Jacko's kiddies is reportedly furious that they were pictured without their usual veil disguises.
Debbie Rowe - who popped out Jackson's kids Prince Michael I, and Paris through artificial insemination - was left gobsmacked after photographs of her children unmasked were published last week.
Rowe insists that the veiling of the kids is necessary to protect them from kidnap threats.
She tells contactmusic.com, "The veils were my idea, not Michael's. I had kidnap threats when they were babies. I did not want them to be recognised. I'm not happy they've been photographed without the veils."
That's right; they're not just your common or garden variety veils - they're anti-kidnapping veils.
That woman's a genius. I'd register a patent now if I were you.
Darling, stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
New(ish) Jacko
Click here to listen to a never-before-heard Michael Jackson song, For All Time.
No, the song's not new; it's actually a cast-off from the original Thriller album recording sessions from 1982.
The new track will appear on Jacko's Thriller 25 - a 25th anniversary release of the legendary album.
Choice words for Wino
Never let it be said that Rolling Stone Keith Richards doesn't call a spade a spade.
The Stoner is the latest good Samaritan to stick his ore in and wade in on Amy Winehouse's troubles.
And given his dalliance with drugs in the past, his pearls of wisdom are no doubt worth a thousand of the lame get well wishes some folk have offered the beleaguered jazz pixie.
Richards, who attended the Berlin International Film Festival to promote a new doco on the Stones, Shine a Light, had these wise words to offer Wino:
"She should get her act together. Apart from that, I have got nothing to say to the bitch!"
Nice and succinct, I like it. I see what he did there.
Don't even get him started on Britney...you won't like him when he's angry.
Source: holymoly.co.uk
It's been a bad week so far for...
Pointless celebrity Paris Hilton.
She's been involved in a scrap with Lindsay Lohan at Timbaland's pre-Grammy party, and now her movie "career" is in the ER.
The wonky-eyed heiress' latest attempt to chase after that elusive Oscar has fallen flat.
Audiences far and wide (well, the US at least) have given her latest flick The Hottie and the Nottie the old one finger salute - which basically equates to Hilton being smacked across the chops with a big wet cod.
Yes, despite the ass-kicking title and the starlet's pulling power, the film has officially been classified a turkey - of the free range variety.
It's a disaster.
And here come the numbers...
The Hotie and the Nottie opened in a total of 111 cinema screens in the US. On its opening day it took in a princely $11,000.
This means that each cinema took in roughly $102 in takings. Ouch.
Mind you, after watching this trailer I'm surprised it took in as much.
Her acting's hammier than Miss Piggy's backside.
Oh, and apparently Paris has lost her pussy.
Dolly's sick, ya'll
Legendary singer Dolly Parton has been forced to postpone her upcoming tour because her puppies are giving her jib and her back's knackered.
It's true. I read a press release about it today, and it went like this:
Dolly Parton has been forced to postpone her upcoming US tour due to a back condition. Doctors have advised the iconic American singer, songwriter, film star and entrepreneur to take six to eight weeks off in order to recover properly.
In the statement, Dolly said: "I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to get my new Backwoods Barbie CD and world tour together, but I didn't mean to hurt myself doing it!
"But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems."
Never fear, for with a sturdy pair like that, you just know that the buxom babe will bounce right back.
Under the knife?
WTF is up with Posh Spice and her demonstrable scar?
Look here for an eyeful of what looks suspiciously like a surgeon's handiwork.
Too high for a caesarian scar surely?
You decide.
Tanorexia
This is wrong on so many levels.
Paris Hilton's PR, Elliot Mintz, showed up at her birthday bash this week looking like an Oompa Loompa who OD'd on growth hormone.
Is that fake tan? Or has he simply rubbed grave granules all over his mug?
Stay indoors. You're scaring the kids.
Fergie 'Not at all pregnant'
You can cancel the stork.
Despite escalating rumours, Fergie and fianc Josh Duhamel aren't expecting.
The singer's mother rang Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show to quash the rumours.
"Nope, not at all!" she said when asked if Fergie was pregnant. "Absolutely positive!
I scratch your back...
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Fast gossip
Give me five minutes and I'll tell you everything...
* More gossip than you can shake a celeb at: Wesmirch.com
* Paris Hilton gets drunk: The Blemish
* WTF happened to Cyndi Lauper? Dlisted
* Brad Pitt denies Shiloh is in danger: Pop On The Pop
* Russell Crowe and his mini-me: Celebrity Baby Scoop
* Salma Hayek gets her pre-pregnancy body back: Farandulista
* Who is the Wicked Witch of the West? Yeeeah!
* Which celeb passed their driving test? ICYDK
* How does Janet Jackson feel about Michael? Gabby Babble
* Lindsay Lohan shows off hers legs: The Rad Report
* D-Day for Scientology: Dlisted
* nzherald.co.nz is not responsible for the content of external websites.
