2018 should've been Lindsay Lohan's year. Photo / Getty Images
2018 should've been Lindsay Lohan's year. Photo / Getty Images
2018 was supposed to be Lindsay Lohan's year.
She's become a fully fledged nightclub mogul, with one "beach club" in Mykonos, and a club in Athens and Rhodes. She also signed on to chronicle her sunny new life in a reality show put together by MTV and the people who brought you Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
But despite her best efforts, things just haven't quite alchemised as seamlessly as Lohan might have hoped.
Her year began with a rocky start that included her getting told off by Kim Kardashian, and the misadventure continued from there.
She made light of her old legal woes for cash. She harassed her employees online. She told off #MeToo victims. In a live streamed video, she chased a family through the streets of Moscow until the mother punched her in the face.
By the end of the year, Linds was telling a reporter that she feels confused by the bad press and "clobbered" by the media.
JANUARY — CLAPBACK FROM KIM K
Things didn't begin well in January when Lohan decided to comment on a photo of Kim Kardashian. The picture, posted by gossip blogger Perez Hilton, was accompanied by a caption asking the question, "Kim K's new look. Thoughts?"
Lindsay decided to chime in among the thousands of other commenters, "I am confused," she said of Kim K's hairdo.
Kardashian replied, ""@lindsaylohan you know what's confusing … your sudden foreign accent."
MARCH — LOHAN LANDS NEW GIG SPRUIKING LEGAL ADVICE
While I'll admit Lohan looks perky and fresh in this video, it's a call out to those on the wrong side of the law, and a sad reminder of the struggles the actor faced in her younger years as her career fell apart.
"When Lawyer.com first reached out to me, I was confused and a little scared, because I thought I was in trouble," she begins.
"But when they asked me to be their spokesman, I was intrigued."
Lohan explains that the site she is spruiking is all about helping people with different issues. For example, if you've been arrested for drink-driving. As Lindsay was, multiple times.
"Let's not pretend I didn't get one," she sadly reminds us, "Or two, or three, or … some others."
JULY — THINK IT'S FUN TO WORK AT CLUB LOHAN? THINK AGAIN
Lohan is now running a couple of clubs in Greece, and while she has spruiked it as a somewhat fun endeavour which she'll document in an upcoming reality series, it appears that working for Lohan is no walk in the park. Or on the dancefloor.
In July, the new nightclub mogul jumped on Instagram to clarify to a couple of her cute cocktail waitresses just what kind of club manager she would be.
If you were wondering, the answer is tyrannical.
One of Lohan's clubs posted a picture of two employees in their silky-pyjama-ish looking uniforms, replete with high heels.
"Hello and welcome to paradise!" the caption reads.
But Lohan's disposition towards the young employees was not sunny, and she took it upon herself to rain down upon them like only a truly mean girl boss could.
"Wear the same shoes please," came the first comment. "Or you're fired."
When a commenter asked if this was real, she responded, "Totally serious!"
AUGUST — LOHAN CALLS #METOO VICTIMS 'WEAK'
She expressed her feelings that the only true way to report sexual assault was to do it "at that moment".
She went on to explain that sexual assault is discredited by the Hollywood movement, which created support for many cases which were historical.
"You discuss it at that moment," she said. "I'm going to really hate myself for saying this, but I think by women speaking against all these things, it makes them look weak when they are very strong women.
She went on to imply that some cases of #MeToo were done for "attention".
Unsurprisingly, her comments weren't entirely received well.
She went on to "unreservedly" apologise for her comments.
SEPTEMBER — LOHAN HARASSES 'REFUGEE' FAMILY
So this is when things really went to hell in a handheld camera phone.
Lohan, alone, is wandering the streets of Moscow (according to TMZ), when she encounters a family sleeping on the street and starts live streaming a conversation with them.
"Hey, everyone, I just want to show you a family that I met, a Syrian refugee family that I'm really worried about." It is unclear whether the family are in fact Syrian or refugees.
While the encounter is initially friendly, things quickly become uncomfortable. According to The Washington Post, Lohan is speaking an unintelligible version of Arabic and English, as she begins to yell menacing things at the family.
"They are trafficking children," she says. "I won't leave until I take you … Don't f**k with me!" It starts to appear as if Lohan is chasing the family through the streets.
The mother then appears to strike Lohan in the face and knock her to the ground, ending the chase.
DECEMBER — LOHAN CLAIMS SHE IS "CLOBBERED" BY THE MEDIA
In a recent interview, Lohan said she was tired of being judged for her behaviour saying, "I could do 99 things right and one thing wrong, but it's that one thing that will be focused on."
When asked about the altercation with the family in Moscow, Lohan had little to say.
