Kate Hudson: 'All men want is sex and food'

Celebrity spawn and

Bride Wars

star

Kate Hudson

says she has men, or "boys" as she calls them, all figured out - all they're interested in is "game scores, masturbation and food".

The stunning starlet, who's been dating Yankees slugger and

Madonna

cast-off

Alex Rodriguez

for the past six months, offers her take on the male of the species in Britain's

Elle

magazine.

Ladies, put down your tazers, turns out blokes aren't that complicated after all. Just listen to the gospel according to Hudson.

"I love boys," she says.

"I believe they're all really simple. Every guy likes to say that they are complicated, but they're so easy to figure out."

Hudson, whose past manly conquests include

Owen Wilson

,

Dax Shepard

,

Lance Armstrong

and

Chris Robinson

, adds, "What did that

Dr. Laura

say? Something like, 'All men want is sex and for you to make them a sandwich.' I thought that was really funny - and not entirely untrue."

We think she doth protest too much. Rather simplisitc and black and white of you, darling. But hey, she might be on to something.

She adds: "If you had a bubble above their head, they'd be thinking about game scores, masturbation, and food."

And her point is?

Engagement

Turns out Hudson is also sick and tired of tongues wagging that she's ready to put a ring on her finger.

Oodles of column inches has been devoted to speculation that Hudson was all set to marry Rodriguez. Not that surprising when you're snapped apparently pimping the mother of all sparklers on your wedding finger. See

exhibit A here

But we've got it all wrong, she says. "Did you know that it was this one, on my right hand," she explains to the mag.

"I hear about this and I'm like, 'Why would I even respond? What would I say if you're going to lie about something ridiculous?' And if you really did your job, you'd look at the pictures taken that day and realise [the ring] was on my right hand."

She also reveals in the glossy that she's not averse to the idea of getting Botox.

"I was in a press conference once, and someone says, 'So, I can tell you've never had Botox!' Is that a compliment? Or are you trying to say I'm starting to get wrinkles? I literally was like, 'What?'

"Everyone's so obsessed with who gets Botox, but it's great! Are you kidding? The fact that women can avoid going under the knife, and get a little Botox treat and not have to worry about it? I'm glad it's there for when it's time."

Fair enough. Just don't

overdo it

.

Phone tanty

Turns out that Hudson and A-Rod had a bit of a barny recently.

The lovebirds reportedly had a furious bust-up after Hudson kept screening his calls. Nosy mare.

"That's just how Kate is, she'll answer your phone, look in your refrigerator, or at your mail," a snitch tells Showbizspy.com

"Also, she figures since they've been together for a while now, it's fine for her to see who's calling him.

"But Alex countered that it's often his ex-wife,

Cynthia

, on the line, and she doesn't to have to deal with his new girlfriend.

"Kate was miffed, but she got over it. Sometimes, though, she wishes Alex didn't have so much baggage."

Then we have this hilarious nugget from

Us Weekly

mag. "They love sex!" a snitch said. "They talk about it all day. Kate gets graphic talking about his body, even to her parents."

So much for boys having a one-track mind, Hudson. Pot. Kettle. Black.

Now all this sex-talk is a little bit wrong. And so is the gossip from one of A-Rod's former flames.

The unnamed snitch (probably because she doesn't exist) recently blabbed to

Us Weekly

: "He was so vain," she vented. "He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure?"

Added the former fling, "It was ridiculous."

We're inclined to believe the snitch. Remember, this is the very man who's in

love with his own reflection

.

Granny GaGa

We're used to seeing queen of spin

Lady GaGa

roll out in oddball outfits, but this is the icing on the cake.

Up she popped at the Annual Accessories Council Excellence (ACE) Awards in New York this week, decked out in what looked like the sorry aftermath of a bungled bake-off.

Take a butchers at her get-up

here.

Or check out more of her sartorial insanity

here

.

No op up-on-top

You'd have to be blind not to notice

Amy Winehouse

has had her bazookas fiddled with. No, we're not being pervy. We're talking about her obvious boob job. Up two cup-sizes, apparently. Evidence

here

But one of her mates says nay. "I spoke to her the other day. But she denied her boob job, which is quite weird. Because it's fairly obvious, right?" Yes, just a wee bit. It's a bit like ignoring two man-size melons in the room.

A prince among men

Swoon over this trailer for adventure flick

Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

, starring Hollywood hottie

Jake Gyllenhaal

.

You're welcome.

Tumble 4 ya

We know it's wrong, but we had a wee chuckle over human dolphin

Mariah Carey

's recent near-disaster while making her grand entrance on a US chat show.

Carey nearly went boob-over-bum while taping the

Jay Leno

show on Monday. She waved away her blushes and claimed it was all choreographed.

Props for a great recovery.

Blogger Bites Back

Pictured: Kate Hudson and lover Alex Rodriguez. Photos / AP

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