Meet the spendthrift streaming service on a cellphone near you. Photo / Supplied
Meet the spendthrift streaming service on a cellphone near you. Photo / Supplied
Opinion by Karl Puschmann
Karl Puschmann is Culture and entertainment writer for the New Zealand Herald. His fascination lies in finding out what drives and inspires creative people.
No matter how many years you've been in a relationship with someone or how well you think you know them it's a good idea to remember that people will always retain an ability to surprise you.
This point came crashing home the other night when I asked my partnerwhat she was watching on her phone and she replied, "Quibi".
My shock at her answer was palpable and not at all hidden from my face.
"What?" she asked, momentarily looking up from her phone. "Have you heard of it?"
Being someone who writes about entertainment of course I had heard of it. But like the rest of the world I had largely ignored it. The big question was how had she heard of it? And, bigger than that; why the heck was she watching it?
It turns out that the answer to both was as bad as it gets. The answer, friends, was The Kardashians.
Let's quickly pause here for a moment to talk a little about what a Quibi is. Not many people have heard of it and even less people are watching it. Quibi is yet another streaming platform hoping to separate you from your credit card details and secure a monthly subscription.
We're drowning in streaming services so Quibi's point of difference is that its viewing experience is optimised for your phone. It's content is designed to be watched in those moments of downtime when you usually whip out your phone like, say, when you're waiting for a bus or travelling on a bus or waiting in line to put some more money on your bus card.
Everything on the platform be it a series, sitcom, doco, reality show, news show or - yes, really - movie, is served up in slices of 10 minutes or less.
Quibi wants you to turn to their quick-bite premium content instead of the quick-blat amateur offerings of your fave YouTubers or Instagrammers. They're relying on two things to do this; A-List celebrities and an unholy amount of money.
Of the former you'll find shows or movies starring Anna Kendrick, Idris Elba, Liam Hemsworth, Kevin Hart, Laurence Fishburne and even The Sandman himself Adam Sandler.
And of the latter? Well, according to Variety, Quibi spent US$1billion on original programming in its first year, working out expenditure at upwards of $100,000 per minute.
The investment paid off handsomely at the Emmy's this week. Quibi picked up a huge 10 nominations, bringing home glory in two categories. Impressive stuff until you learn it was mainly competing against itself having secured the majority of spots in all the short-form categories.
Quibi targets a younger demographic with content delivered in 10-minute episodes.
However, when it comes to viewers Quibi ain't winning no prizes. No one's interested. Except, it seems, my partner who laughed her way all through Kardashian-parody series Kirby Jenner before moving onto horror series The Stranger and the Emmy-nominated thriller Most Dangerous Game.
After her repeated insistence that there were shows I would like on Quibi I decided I should give it a look. At best I'd find something new to watch. At worst it wouldn't take long...
Home Movie: The Princess Bride caught my eye first. This was a star-filled re-enactment of the classic 1987 adventure movie made by socially distanced celebrities. It's the sort of thing you find all over YouTube, the difference being here it's got A-List stars like Hugh Jackman, Retta and - hilariously - a stubbled Fred Savage returning to his star making role as sick kid. It was fun. I watched all four minutes of it. Then I moved on.
Aqua Donkeys is a sitcom from Funny or Die about two clueless pool attendants both trying to woo their co-worker. A few politically incorrect gags sunk but it still packed enough lols in its seven minutes for me to dive into a couple more episodes.
I really enjoyed all eight minutes of the first episode of Flipped, a comedy about a disgruntled couple who get into the house reno game for fame and fortune before getting kidnapped by a drug cartel. It stars the brilliantly funny Kaitlin Olson and Will Forte so no chance I'd flip this one off.
There's a lot of silly shiz on Quibi, which works well considering its short-format mandate, like a show about luxury dog kennels or a comedy series where comedians compete to say the nicest thing possible about awful scenarios.
My fave was the brilliantly stupid reality cooking show Dishmantled which sees two chefs having to work out what dish just got blown up all over them before attempting to cook it. It's so dumb I kind of love it.
Not enough, or course, to keep the app installed after my free trial ends. Because while I was surprised to find a lot of very watchable shows on there unlike Quibi I'm not made of money.
