So what? I don't know if you've seen what passes for our culture recently but it pretty much boils down to rugby, cooking shows and Lorde. Adding one more frivolity to that list is hardly going to bring about the revolution.
"It's the Americanisation of the world," people cry on Facebook or Twitter, while sipping on a Starbucks and keeping an eye on how many likes and favs click up on their iPhones.
Again, so what? Cultural appropriation has happened. It's done. Whether you like it or not, we've been colonised. Not by guns and war but instead by mass conglomerates hawking somewhat decent entertainment and overpriced coffee. Get over it.
"It's commercially driven nonsense," is another popular whine of the spoilsport. Really? I had no idea! Thanks for enlightening me. Sorry, but for one last time, so what?
I hate to break it to you but all our yearly rituals are commercially driven nonsense. I don't see anyone taking a stand against Cadbury Creme Eggs or Christmas trees is all I'm saying.
Haters gonna hate. I get that. This may come as a shocking revelation, but on rare occasion I've been known to guzzle down that sweet, sweet Haterade myself. But I try to save it for something worth hating on, like politicians, Michael Bay films and U2.
Halloween just doesn't seem worth the effort. Because, really, what happens? Bunches of young kids dressed as adorable little monsters walk around seeking lollies and groups of teens clump together to get high and watch a Human Centipede marathon. Big deal.
Rather than acting like a pompous ass and getting all righteous about it, why not just embrace it and have some damned fun? I keep a V for Vendetta mask and two packs of Party Mix by the door to first scare then delight any younglings that come a-knocking.
As a pop culture fiend, celebrating Halloween is almost a contractual obligation. The only thing I fear about the holiday is that the grinches running our free-to-air television stations continually fail to get into the spirit. Their mindless, zombie-like approach of block programming has all but destroyed the fun of the traditional Halloween TV special.
You'd think on days attributed their very own occasion a little effort could be made on the part of TV stations to screen appropriate fare. True, TV2 makes a token effort later in the night with a couple of films, but would there be a national outrage if America's Funniest Home Videos fell on its face for a day in favour of showing one of the three SpongeBob SquarePants Halloween specials instead? Or if Jamie's 15 Minute Meals disappeared for 24 hours so one of the many Scooby-Doo specials could screen? I think not.
As a kid the only day I'd ever see the magnificent It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was on Halloween. Nowadays it feels like a bloody Simpsons Halloween Special is screening every time I turn on the television.
Block programming has murdered what made these episodes fun. Watching a Halloween special in July just kills the buzz dead. The sense of occasion is gone. The effect has been cheapened. And the nostalgic side of me can't help but feel that something has been lost along with it. As always, it's the kids that lose out. But no matter, they'll probably be too hopped-up on candy to care.
So that leaves it to us true believers to carry on and fight the good fight. I like to keep Halloween old school so tradition dictates that I kick off tonight's eerie viewing with the aforementioned Snoopy special before hitting the snacks, booze and Twitter to freewheel through '80s B-grade classics like Re-Animator, Evil Dead, Halloween and the great Psycho II.
Moaners moan that Halloween is a new import that will never catch on but I beg to differ. It's been happening in a half-arsed way here for as long as I can remember.
For me the fact that Halloween remains the low budget, B-movie of the New Zealand event calendar, enjoying only cult status, is satisfyingly appropriate and spookily accurate.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
