Rapper Kanye West. Photo / Getty
I'm neither a diehard fan nor vehement opponent of Kanye West. He's just kind of, there.
I know he's a good producer, has a family with Kim Kardashian, once ripped a microphone off Taylor Swift and sells $160 plain white tees that look no different to the 2-for-$10 ones on sale at Cotton On.
So when he just tweeted a link to his new song, Lift Yourself, I had very few preconceived judgments to taint my evaluation.
It starts out ... pretty good.
After a few seconds, I find myself doing a little shoulder dance at my desk and mouthing "Lift yourself up on your feeeeet" in line with the female vocalist without even realising it.
Then — without warning — Kanye's voice kind of just sifts in and out of nowhere and ... things get weird super fast.
"But they don't really realise though ... this next verse ... this NEXT VERSE THOUGH ... these bars ... watch this ..." he aggressively announces.
It took at least ten listens to get this transcription of what he says next word-perfect, but that's how much I care about journalistic integrity:
Poopidy scoop, scoopdiddy whoop, whoop, di scoop, di poop, poop di scoop di scoop di whoop, whoopidy scoop woop poop, poop diddy whoop scoop, poop! Poop! Scoop diddy whoop, whoop diddy scoop, whoop diddy scoop poop.
That's ... it. I'm scared and confused. Please hold me.
So what's his deal? A mass trolling? A loving ode to the smiley poo emoji? An intensive damning commentary on postmodernism?
The "poopdiddyscoop" portion of the song is specifically stuck in my head, so I'm now going to make it your problem as well.
Timothée Chalamet had long been interested in playing Bob Dylan.