JessB’s debut album Feels Like Home: 4 years in the making, but it’s not an arrival point

JessB's new album Feels Like Home is out now. Photo / Leo Harunah

It’s been years in the making, and Kiwi rapper JessB’s debut album, Feels Like Home, finally dropped today. She tells Emma Gleason about the journey to get there.

For all her visibility, talent, and position in Auckland’s cultural zeitgeist, the fact that JessB (Jess Bourke) is only just releasing her debut album in 2024 is intriguing, particularly in this current era of prolific, atomised creative output.

It’s called Feels Like Home, and the 12-track album is out today.

Why the wait?

“2020 was the time I decided to do an album, then Covid happened,” Bourke tells NZ Herald.

“It’s been over three years in the making, probably four.”

The making has been a long process, with plenty of change; some songs have stood the test of time, others have been pulled out, added in.

With such a long gestation period, how do those older tracks sit with her?

“Even though I feel like I’ve evolved past certain feelings, it’s important that they’re still a part of it,” she says, explaining they represent a moment in time.

After years, so much work, it’s finally out.

“It feels strange,” Bourke says. “It feels like it’s been far away for a really long time.”

She says 75% of it was made in Amsterdam, and there were lots of people in the studio.

“I really enjoyed that type of creating together.”

Guest spots include Gold Fang, Kraniaum; producers count Kiwis Dera Meelan and Who Shot Scott, Tuzi from Nigeria and MOW Music from the Netherlands.

And in a major coup, pioneering Jamaican dancehall artist Sister Nancy is sampled on the opening track Power.

“I’m very grateful to her, she’s a legend,” Bourke says. “She’s an artist that’s been extremely resilient, and not just as a woman in the industry.”

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They first met in Raglan when she was touring New Zealand, and then again in London when both of them were at the same festival. “She remembered me.”

They connected again in Sydney. Bourke figured she had to at least ask.

“It was one of those questions where you think ‘I’m definitely getting a no’.”

But she said yes. Being in the studio together “was very surreal”.

They’re joined on Power by Sampa The Great, one of Bourke’s favourite experiences of the album.

“She’s been one of my favourite Australian-based artists for a really long time, and I’ve always wanted a song with her.”

So, as with Sister Nancy, she decided it was worth a shot. “Closed mouths don’t get fed.”

It was a yes. And they hit it off.

“She’s someone I’ve taken great inspiration from and she’s been a really nice person for advice.”

Creating has its highs and lows

Collaboration is creatively enriching, and Bourke has a fertile circle of creatives.

“Half Queen has been a huge support for a really long time.”

Most of her friends are also working creatives.

“Those pockets of community, I think having that shared understanding of what it’s like to be an artist, the peaks and valleys of it all, is nice to feel understood,” she explains.

“Holding everyone up so we can keep going.”

What’s the hardest part?

“The lack of stability. It’s really hard to plan in music because you often don’t know when or where your money’s coming from.”

It’s also impossible to predict how your creative output will be received.

A song can “go viral on TikTok, or nothing happens”.

Riding that wave of not actually knowing is challenging.

“You have to be open to all of the above options, and you have to be ready.”

If your music goes viral and you’re not ready, that has a set of consequences.

“If you’re neither here nor there, you have to find home in the inbetween and all of the unknowns," says JessB. Photo / Leo Harunah

The Feels Like Home release kicked off with a showcase last night (Bourke’s birthday) on Karangahape Rd.

She grew up in central, but home is now West Auckland.

The album’s title traces back to the beginning of the process.

“I was never sure if I was going to keep it,” she says. “But as the years went on and the further in that I got, the more it made sense.”

Feels Like Home, in the literal sense of working through the album, and as a metaphoric concept, is constantly changing, Bourke explains, and represented her stepping into herself musically, finding a sureness with her sound.

“In who I am and what I’m representing in the world.”

It’s home as a feeling rather than a fixed location, and time and movement are themes that run through the album. Songs like Where Are We Going, Waiting Patiently, Come Find Me and Long Time Coming.

There’s a sense of flux at play. “If you’re neither here nor there, you have to find home in the in-between and all of the unknowns.”

It’s comforting in a way.

“I’ve always been someone who’s hugely nostalgic,” she says, particularly with regards to self and her own journey. “I always am looking back, and looking ahead.”

Being an artist in 2024 requires a healthy does of realism

When I first met Bourke back in 2019, she’d just released her EP New Views; another, Bloom, came out the year prior.

It’s been a busy five years, beyond working on Feels Like Home. There are the Filth club nights with Half Queen (Shaquille Wasasala), partnerships with well-known brands. And honing her aesthetic; she’s a great image maker.

Does she think about her image a lot? “I probably put as much thought into the imagery side as I do to the music, which is insane, but it’s really important.”

It’s how you illustrate your sound.

“I’ve always liked imagery that feels well thought out and considered, and that has been a place of growth for me,” allowing the creative to change to reflect her evolution as a person.

“Working with people who see you and understand you to a degree is really important.”

The cover of Feels Like Home was shot by Auckland based photographer Synthia Bahati, who’s become a friend. “It’s really nice for me to be able to support other black artists.”

Feels Like Home by JessB with album cover art by photographer Synthia Bahati. Photo / Flying Out

We’re living in an image-heavy culture, and it’s easy to forget how much work goes into the imagery behind an artist or an album – and any visual medium - not to mention promoting it.

Does she feel pressure to create content that will cut through the algorithms and platforms that have become so culturally – and economically – influential?

“I think about it every waking moment,” she says candidly.

“Just because your video goes viral does not then mean you’ll have a robust long career.”

You have to do both, online and on the ground.

“But it’s really hard to put hours and hours of work that doesn’t go viral.”

She noticed higher reach when posting from Los Angeles compared to Auckland. But you can’t fixate on numbers too much.

“I haven’t mastered the art of letting go,” she admits. “I’m still very curated. Especially on Instagram, I like to have a considered rollout.”

Bourke sees it as building a story.

But virality alone can be a distraction, with some artists focusing on TikTok success over live shows. “Gigs are extremely important in an artist’s growth, and I will always prioritise them.”

How’s the local scene, the audiences, the funding?

“We’re in a cost-of-living crisis.”

READ: How do Kiwi musicians pay their bills?

People can’t afford to go to every gig. She feels like there are less community events happening than when she started. “It sucks, but it reflects the times we’re in.”

There’s always room for more funding. “And to cast the net wider,” she says, with so much talent here, like Juju Lips. “I’ve benefited hugely from funding.”

It’s helped her get to where she is now, connecting with an audience and finding a voice.

“My music journey has mirrored my journey with growing up and my identity,” she explains.

“The whole concept of Feels Like Home, it’s not so much about an arrival point, but being closer than I felt like I was,” Bourke says.

“This is a more authentic version of myself.”

It’s not that she was being inauthentic before, more that she’s been able to step into and inhabit the different parts of who she is.

This has played out creatively and with her decision making.

“I’ve had growth in so many different areas, and I’ve had all these different life experiences now,” Bourke explains.

“I feel unrecognisable to myself from where I started.”

Understanding yourself is a journey

Before she was JessB she was a professional netball player.

Movement is still incredibly important to her.

“It’s been important for me to maintain the mundane,” Bourke says.

“I exercise a lot.” It helps with her mental health, and has her whole life.

“And making sure I stay in the community.”

Can music be isolating? “I’ve had the beauty of both worlds,” she says.

Creating alone is a beautiful experience: “The process of making this album and learning the skills to have the option to be by myself is really rewarding”.

Bourke has always looked inward, and forward. “I always used to write notes to my future self,” she says. “It’s a way of reassuring and comforting myself.”

Looking back though, what advice would she give her younger self.

“All the cliches that people say run true, but embodying them and living them is where the lesson is,” she explains.

“I try and be compassionate with myself and the time it has taken me to grow into certain parts of myself.”

You only operate within the capacity that you have space for.

“I don’t think I’d change anything about the way that I did things. But there’s some reassurance in genuinely being your truest self and allow that to find people,” she says.

“Rather than trying to be somebody that’s everyone’s cup of tea, because that’s impossible.”

Realising that frees you up, Bourke advises, giving you license to do what feel true to you.

There’s power in the niche, and a purity of creativity.

“It’s exactly that,” she agrees. “Being as authentic as you can be at the time.”

Her identity hasn’t always been solid. “There’s a lot of things that I represent,” explains Bourke. “Leaning into who I am and allowing people who relate to that to find me is what’s important.”

Our identities are a composite of parts and pasts, and as she discusses with the germination of the album, who we are is constantly changing.

“I’m a part of so many intersections.” Does she feel pressure to be a representative figure?

“Initially I did,” she says. “[But] all I can be is who I am.”

Challenging times make for good music.

“Artists are commentating on very real feelings that exist, hard times is part of that,” she says. “Musicians are the voice of what’s going on.”

The future of music, like everything, is full of unknowns.

“You have to be hugely adaptable to whatever’s coming.”

Feels Like Home is out today.

Emma Gleason is the New Zealand Herald’s lifestyle and entertainment deputy editor. Based in Auckland, she covers culture, fashion and media.