KEY POINTS:
Yes, you read that right.
I know she's pregnant, you know she's pregnant - the only person who doesn't think she's with child is Jamie Lynn Spears herself.
Word has it that the soon-to-be teen mum is refusing to come to terms with her pregnancy, and is desperately trying to hold onto her youth before swapping wild parties and hedonism for nappies and narcolepsy.
Various internet news websites report that the Zoey 101 star is in serious denial about her delicate state and, rather worryingly, is also having severe body-image issues.
Jamie Lynn's state of mind is said to have got so bad, her mother, Lynne, supposedly jetted across the country to be by her side after Jamie screamed at her down the phone, saying: "I'm not pregnant!"
So far gone is Spears' denial, she's said to be "trying to go about her life as she always did," says an insider. "She still hangs out until late at night and eats junk food."
Apparently, the biggest problem for Jamie Lynn is the fact that she's starting to show and getting ever-so-slightly fuller of figure. But having looked at these recent pics of Jamie, I'd say she's getting worked up over nothing.
The craziest and lamest tidbit of all has to be the claim that a friend supposedly joked at a party that he liked Jamie Lynn's "sexy new curves" - 'twas a compliment that sent Spears into a spin as she snapped back, "Shut up!"
Star magazine reports that Spears then turned to a female companion and said, "I hate my body!"
"Jamie Lynn is having severe body image issues," adds the insider. "For the past few years, she's been this cute little TV star. Now she sees herself ballooning - and she can't handle it."
Honey, if you can't handle the onslaught of impending motherhood at this early stage, take heed in the fact that the next few months are going to turn your world upside down.
You're in this situation by your own making. Deal with it.
Ball breaker
We've all seen the foul pics of Johnny Knoxville's bloodied underwear after his botched attempt to wow us while doing a back flip on a motorbike...
Well, here's the video of the prankster almost getting castrated while he filmed Mat Hoffman's tribute to Evel Knievel last week for MTV.
One question: Why?
Taking the Tom
Some of you may not know this, but Aussie actor Eric Bana started his career as a stand-up comic and sketch comedian.
And the good news is that he's actually good at it.
Here he is extracting the urine out of Scientology stalwart Tiny Tom Cruise for Aussie TV show Full Frontal.
"Tom" is being interviewed by host "Ray Martin" (also played by Bana), and the pair exchange pleasantries, before things get rather emotional and they're, erm, caught in the moment...
Just because...
Here's Bana's sexy photo shoot for GQ magazine.
Hello!
Wacko Jacko's ego-fuelled drama
I don't know about you, but I was rather miffed that Michael Jackson's much-hyped comeback appearance at this year's Grammy Awards was a red herring.
Word had it that the plastic surgery enthusiast would make an appearance to coincide with the release of his anniversary Thriller CD.
But Jacko was a no-show.
Details of his absence remained under wraps, until now...
The reason's rather straightforward: Jacko's ego threw an almighty mental.
The New York Post reports that Grammy organisers had had enough of Jacko's incessant demands which, basically, reinforced his delusion that he would be the star attraction.
That's right.
Stuff everyone else and their ten minutes of glory; Jacko wanted the WHOLE of the Grammys to be a celebration of his career - with the odd support act making an appearance in-between.
Curiously, Jacko also insisted that he be referred to as "The King of Pop" no less than 30 times.
Oh, and he also wanted a special new award created especially for him.
Christina's got some front
Wow, look at the size of Christina's melons? Question is: will they stay that way now that she's offloaded her sprog?
Xtina was on Ellen this week and all eyes were on her swollen assets.
The Dirrty singer claims to be breastfeeding her baby boy. I think not. Remember, this is the same Xtina who was afraid of giving birth.
Pink speaks about divorce
Pink has broken her silence over her recent split from hubby Carey Hart.
She just posted this on her website, Pinkspage.com:
"Hi everybody.
I wanted to reach out personally to all my fans/friends out there in the world. First and foremost, thank-you for all of your support and love, it means a lot to me right now. The most important thing for you all to know, is that Carey and I love each other so so much. This break up is not about cheating, anger, or fighting. I know it sounds like cliche bulls***, but we are best friends, and we will continue to be. All I know at this point, is that I want to make the best album I can, and Carey wants to do the best possible job he can with everything he has going on. He is a good man, so please support him as well. One never knows the future, but mine and Careys' just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now.
Thanks for the concern and caring.
X Miss P"
He's one talented Pricasso
I've heard of male genitalia being referred to as a magic wand, but this is ridiculous.
Antipodean artist Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso, uses his treasured penis instead of a paint brush to draw his works of art.
Pricasso usually shows off his penis handiwork at sex product fairs around the world, but he's now decided to aim a little closer to home - Australia's Archibald Prize.
The talented painter spoke to the Sydney Morning Herald this week:
"I had to use my bum to paint in the background, because you have to have the occasional break."
Good luck, Pricasso!
Source: Reuters
It's called delusion...
Druggie Pete Doherty won't get out of bed for less than 30,000 (NZ$73,000).
According to British tabloid The Sun, Doherty turned down a modeling job which failed to meet his price tag.
Fashion label Lastseason.com reportedly contacted the filthy beast and offered him 5,000 (NZ$12,000) to appear in their new ad campaign.
But Doherty's management swiftly responded with a "Thanks, but no thanks", and informed the sartorial desperados that their client would need at least 30,000 as a "bare minimum".
Talk about a ruddy cheek.
A spokesman for Lastseason said: "When they said 30,000 I nearly had a heart attack. Who does he think he is, Claudia Schiffer?
"I thought Pete could do with a day's work for what would be good money by anyone's standards. He is just not worth that much."
Madonna/Monroe, whatever!
Bitchy Boy George was once quoted as saying that comparing Madonna to Marilyn Monroe was like "comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus."
I agree - Monroe was an effortless beauty with a hugely charismatic presence, something Madonna lacks.
So it's with slack-jawed amazement that I stumbled upon this story.
A Las Vegas man alerted the media this week with great enthusiasm as he thought he had his hands on a rare photo of Marilyn Monroe posing nude as a hitchhiker.
What the idiot actually had was a famous photo of Madonna, sans clothes, hitchhiking in the buff with a fag in her gob for her racy Sex book.
But Lawrence Nicastro, 73, didn't figure that out until months later.
Poor Laurence spent months researching the find and even drafted in Monroe expert, Chris Harris, who also believed they had a treasure on their hands.
Harris hurriedly called a press conference to unveil the special find.
Luckily, they gave the Associated Press a sneak-peak, who quickly pointed out the obvious.
"You're right; it's Madonna," Harris said after being told of the mix-up.
"If there ever was an embarrassing moment," he added.
"Who wins here? Madonna, of course," Harris said. "She really looks like Marilyn Monroe."
Erm, that'll be a big fat no.
Li-Lo's big boob
Just when you thought there wasn't a square inch of Lindsay Lohan that hasn't seen the light of day...
Believe it or not, there's yet more of Lindsay Lohan left to see.
Riding high on the fever of publicity generated on Monday after the release of her candid faux-Marilyn Monroe nudie shots, New York magazine has unleashed five outtakes from the photo shoot.
Lohan's flesh flash has been met with mixed reviews, but her mother has given the spread the thumbs-up, saying "it was very tastefully done."
"I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically," she said.
But website Radar Online now says that Lohan may have been lulled into doing the photo shoot under false pretences.
Radar explains...
New York may have pulled a bit of a fast one. The plan to publish nudes-a monumental move in her career-was never made clear, Lohan's rep says. Photographer Bert Stern, the now 78-year-old most famous for getting Marilyn Monroe to strip on film six weeks before her overdose on barbiturates, suggested a much less revealing homage for the mag. A rumor from the very closed set suggests Stern dangled the possibility that the nudes would be displayed only in a museum or as part of his book and that the tamer shots would go to New York.
Deliberate or hoodwinked? You decide...
This just in...
Britney Spears' faux-manager Sam Lutfi is NOT being investigated by the Los Angeles Police Department over allegations he drugged the singer.
Ex-footballer Paul Gascoigne has reportedly been detained under the Mental Health Act after an altercation at a Hilton hotel in the UK.
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Fast gossip
Give me five minutes and I'll tell you everything...
* Do not click here if you're easily offended by gossip.
* Nicole Richie and Joel Madden hate their kid: IDLYITW
* Celebrity mansions: Cityrag
* Angie & Maddox's movie date: A Socialite's Life
* Avril Lavigne is hiding her pregnancy: Dlisted
* Mariah Carey does cocaine? Hollywood Rag
* Madonna's kids have it rough: ASL
* Paula Abdul's new music video: Popsugar
* Elizabeth Hurley continues to wow: UseMyComputer
* Actress Minnie Driver pregnant? About: Celebrity Gossip
* Jessica Simpson hurting overweight people: Bitten and Bound
* Eva Longoria pregnant? NewsToob
* Rumer Willis' shameful exit from a club: Derek Hail
* nzherald.co.nz is not responsible for the content of external websites.
