This new MAFS couple has exploded on their honeymoon — with the sunburnt husband issuing a burn that stings more than the one on his face. James Weir recaps.
This new MAFS couple has exploded on their honeymoon — with the sunburnt husband issuing a burn that stings more than the one on his face. James Weir recaps.
Opinion by James Weir
OPINION:
A torturous honeymoon polluted with an endless stream of insults results in a defeated Married At First Sight husband lashing out at his wife and issuing a sting that rivals his sunburn.
It’s a night of squealing, name-calling and hair pulling. And that’s just the guys.
The aftermath of Claire’s cheating admission also rocks Trash Tower and leads to the kind of expletive-laden biff we’d usually only see from Michael Clarke in a Noosa park.
We find Jesse raging down the dark hallways of Trash Tower to confront Adam for kissing his wife. The bad downlighting only adds to the chaos.
“Think ya better come with me, bro,” Jesse snarls in a menacing tone that suggests there’s a shed full of machetes awaiting them.
Jesse marches Adam down to his apartment. He wants this confrontation to happen on home turf because it’s all about having the upper hand. The power plays continue. He doesn’t bring up Claire or the kiss. Instead, he tries to push Adam into owning up to it.
Then they both get up in each other’s faces and there’s a part of us that thinks they actually might kiss.
Plot twist: Adam kissed Claire just to get to Jesse.
The battle spills out into the hallway, under the bad lighting. Jesse is determined to get an admission of guilt but Adam refuses. Instead, that lyin’ cheatin’ entrepreneur blames Claire for taking advantage of him.
“You saw what she was like that whole time – you saw she was comin’ (onto me),” he whines. “But it’s ME that’s takin’ the wrap for this? That’s what I’m not standin’ for. You’re missus came onto me!”
Ugh, makes sense. That loud, chundering Claire taking advantage of any innocent entrepreneur she can find. Just tell us one thing, Adam: did you shush her, too?
It’s around now the building manager comes and rouses on them for causing a commotion and bringing Trash Tower into disrepute.
While we’re all distracted, Adam runs off down the hall and slams the door of his apartment. Dammit! He’s going to try tell Janelle in private. The cameramen bust in and Adam’s more stunned at how they got through his locked door than the fact his affair has been exposed.
“Who let you guys in?” he jumps to his feet, before returning his attention to his distraught wife and offering a very reasonable explanation for why he kissed someone else.
“We were blind, we were smashed, we were havin’ a vape, we were vibin’,” he shrugs.
Oh, OK then. As long as you were vapin’ and vibin’'.
Janelle runs into the hallway and collapses. Sobs echo around the corridor. We feel for her. But we also feel for all the neighbours who are legitimate residents here at Trash Tower. Their day is really being disrupted with this commotion.
“Do you know how he told me? He walked into the room and said, ‘It’s just come out that me and Claire kissed’,” she rolls her eyes. “That’s how he told me.”
She puts her hands on her hips. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
Good girl, Janelle. You should be the support act for Caitlin on her arena speaking tour.
Evicted.
Meanwhile, the two new couples who got married last night are tolerating their honeymoons.
Evelyn keeps talking about how horny she is and Tayla keeps criticising her husband for not being manly enough. With their powers combined, they are: the horny mum.
We watch as Evelyn tries to entice her husband Rupert with a sexy bath when all he wants to do is play a boardgame:
Why is the water brown?
And then we watch Tayla continue to torture her husband Hugo. At their wedding, she dismissed him for not being her type. Now, after a day of sniping, she’s insisting he sleep on the floor — for the honeymoon as well as the general duration of the experiment.
It all comes to blows over dinner. The disparaging comments have really defeated Hugo — and the mad sunburn he copped from a day of outdoor activities isn’t helping.
Guys, c’mon. Less wine, more Banana Boat.
He asks his wife to explain what qualities she was hoping for in a husband.
“The opposite of you,” she declares. “When I first saw you, I immediately thought, ‘I don’t think he’s very sporty’. The way you speak, as well. I actually requested someone who doesn’t talk much. (I wanted) A bit of a man’s man. Tradie, footballer. A bit rowdy. Likes to drink beer. You’re probably not my type.”
Hugo has no idea what’s happening. He breaks the fourth wall and stares into the camera lens, begging for help from the producers. The producers do not assist. Instead, they turn the aircon off, to make his sunburn go more red and sweaty.
Get the man a can of aloe vera mist!
“The part I have a problem with is I feel like you looked at me and said, ‘He’s not a blokey tradie, he’s not my type,” he begins his dressing down, before stinging Tayla with a burn that rivals the one on his face. “And you’ve been a b**ch to me the entire time.”
