A Married At First Sight wife unleashes a spray of insults at the husband she cheated on during Tuesday night's episode and bitterly reveals one of the many reasons she's dumping him is his aversion to brunch.
Sorry Carolina, but I'm Team Dion. Brunch is overrated. Lining up for 15 minutes just to eat eggs is ridiculous.
Of course, the break-up isn't just about brunch. It never is.
Carolina and Dion are at a standstill.
After being told by his wife that she doesn't like his looks or personality, Dion deals with the blow the only way he knows how: by arranging his fedora collection.
And Carolina? There's only one thing on her mind: Daniel.
OK, fine, there's two things on her mind.
"Dion doesn't go to the gym," she whines to us, yet again.
Sitting at the kitchen table, she taps away on her phone, madly texting while smirking to herself. Then she looks across the room at her husband laying on the couch. She grimaces.
"Dion, I'm going to the gym," she calls out.
Wow. She really loves the gym, huh? It's all she can talk about lately. Eh, maybe a bit of exercise will do her some good. Get the endorphins pumping. Clear her head. This could be just the thing her marriage needs.
Wait. Who's that man she's kissing at the gym?
Well, well, well. She's meeting Daniel at the gym. And not just any gym. Daniel's arranged to rendezvous at a gym after-hours, when no one else is around. Private. Clandestine. That's how desperate they are to pursue this secret affair. Just Daniel and Carolina in a dark and dirty gym … with a camera crew.
"I reached out to Carolina, asking her to go to the gym," he tells us. "I feel a bit nervous."
Well, that's understandable. It's normal to feel nervous when you're stealing another man's wife. "I guess it feels like Mission Impossible because I'm a divorced man and Carolina's in a marriage."
Mmmhhhmmm. Mhhmm. So, what you're saying is it feels like cheating? Okay. Well, I'm not qualified like Dr Dom, but, I would say you're feeling that way because ... you're cheating.
We loiter around a row of elliptical machines and watch on as Daniel stands behind Carolina and places his hands on her body to guide her form while lifting weights. Ugh. Couples who work out together at the gym are so annoying. When I go to the gym, I'm not there to watch you make-out. I'm there to perform the exercises that I've stolen off Michelle Bridges' Instagram.
"You owe me drinks and dinner now 'cause I PTed you," he hugs her as they walk into the car park. "See ya, future wife."
While Carolina's getting PTed by another man, Dion is at home handwriting a heartfelt letter to read his wife over a beautiful cheese plate that he has spent all afternoon curating. To make the gesture extra special, he has even organised their wedding florist to deliver a bunch of the same flowers that were used at their ceremony.
But is Carolina impressed? No. While Dion reads his letter, she just sits there sipping her wine, making the same face Kate makes whenever her husband Matthew enters the room.
Speaking of Kate and Matt, producers have observed how tense their marriage is. So they decide to make things worse by assigning them the Hot Or Not challenge.
Uh-oh.
Of course Matt ranks his wife in first place. And of course Kate doesn't do the same to her husband.
But it's not as bad as we think it's gonna be. She doesn't place him dead last. Instead, she slots him in third. Huh. Look who's not acting like a wet cat today.
Matt's elated. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He acts like his wife has finally realised they're meant to be together.
"I'm incredibly attracted to you," he stares into her eyes. "I wanna hold your hand. I wanna put my arms around your waist. I wanna advance some kind of … affection."
The thought of advancing affection snaps Kate back into reality.
"Hmmm," she sighs, looking down at the husband headshots lined up on the kitchen table. "Hang on a minute, maybe I should change the positioning."
Oh Kate, you're hilarious! There's that sense of humour coming through. Clearly she's only jok-
"I'm not feeling a sexual desire towards you yet," she sternly informs her husband.
But Matt's not deterred.
"It's that word 'yet' that keeps me alive," he winks at us.
Well, that's … something.
We might feel sorry for Matt and Dion — but we feel worse for Selina because her husband wears these sunglasses.
Meanwhile, Samantha has taken Al to the park to play with his Tonka trucks. She takes the opportunity to raise a rather tense issue about their future together, but we don't pay attention because we're distracted by Al's burgundy nail polish.
Back at Haus Of Trash, we're roaming the halls to see whose apartment we can rummage through when we stumble upon Carolina and Dion. They're basically living separate lives. The more she freezes him out, the more he tries desperately to win her over.
While he cooks dinner, she's on her phone. When he tries to watch a movie together, she's on her phone. And it hasn't gone unnoticed.
"She's always on her phone," Dion shakes his head.
Well … that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe she's looking up fun activities for you to do together as a couple?
"I've been texting Daniel," she tells us bluntly. "He likes the-"
Gym. Yes. He likes the gym. We know! That's the only thing you say these days, Carolina. Daniel likes the gym and Dion doesn't like the gym. Daniel wears normal shoes and Dion wears high heels.
Lady, you are so negative lately. How 'bout looking at this situation a little more positively, huh? If you weren't so busy crapping on about the gym, maybe you would've noticed that, by marrying Dion, you've instantly doubled your wardrobe. The glass is half-full, my friend. The glass is half-full.
"I don't think it's cheating yet," she says.
Carolina, we watched as Daniel PTed you. Don't pretend like that meant nothing.
She thinks she can keep up the sham until the next commitment ceremony but her patience wears thin and she taps out of her marriage over lunch. Of course, she handles it delicately and with the utmost consideration for her husband's feelings.
Ha, no she doesn't. She goes rogue and insults everything about him.
"I tried to be positive, I thought, 'I'm not physically attracted but maybe I can be attracted to his personality — but that didn't happen either!" she spits.
Then she lists all the specific things she doesn't like about him.
"Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day — but you don't ever eat breakfast. Not even a Sunday brunch!"
Huh. Brunch. What a specific gripe. You know, we thought for sure she was gonna say-
"And you never set foot in a gym!"
Annnd there it is.
Dion's head is spinning. "I'm trying!" he pleads.
Carolina looks him up and down. "I think you're delusional!"
It's these words that leave Dion gobsmacked. Literally. His gob is smacked open.
Dion starts looking for his keys. "I came here with an open heart! I came here to find love! I came here to find a best friend!" he yells. "I try, try, try, try, try and get nothing!"
Carolina stares at him from her perch at the kitchen bench. "You have nothing! That's why!"
This is just ugly. It's too much for anyone to be faced with.
"I'm going! I'm not gonna put up with this," Dion marches towards the door before jolting to a stop. "Where are my shoes?"
Oh, your heels? They're by the sofa.
But he can't bear to spend a second longer in this apartment, so he leaves his shoes and slides on Carolina's instead. They look better on him anyway.
• MAFS Australia is available in NZ on Three and ThreeNow.
While some distributors 'felt fear', the film has been sold to more than 50 countries.