KEY POINTS:
Whoever let comedian Dai Henwood loose on a road trip around New Zealand should get an instant fine and demerit points slapped on their licence to create television.
Be warned: Roll the Dai (C4, Wednesdays, 9pm) is no genial, Marcus Lush-style sortie into the heartland but strictly for those who might appreciate Henwood's puerile, obsessively penile attempts at humour - at a guess, the odd mentally-deficient, testosterone-charged teenage boy.
The unoriginality of the endeavour is a huge handicap. Do we really need yet another funny-man out on the road since Mikey Havoc and Jeremy Wells covered the country so comprehensively a few years ago?
Henwood's travel strategy is to write six destinations, suggested by email or the people he talks to along the way, on a blow-up die, then give it a roll to determine where he's headed. Random, man.
Henwood is 29, he told us, but his act is pure bogan adolescent, just the sort to go out and create havoc on the country's roads. Despite this, a rental company came up with a set of wheels for his adventure, a van of the kind that used to be known as a shaggin' wagon.
In Henwood's case, this label, with its implication of a participant, is too broad, if that gross-out soundtrack of enthusiastic self-gratification accompanying the show's first overnight stop is any indication.
According to Henwood's introduction, Roll the Dai is an "all-new exciting and titillating travel show". Is there a technical term for an unfailing ability to titillate only oneself?
Last night's debut instalment started off with a mildly funny diversion to the Champion Dragway at Meremere where Henwood burned a bit of rubber in a van-on-van challenge. "Zero to 100 in half an hour," was about his best line of the show.
It was all downhill from there. Next stop, a popcorn factory in Te Awamutu where gracious host Dave didn't deserve those observations such as "I wonder if it's popcorn in there or P"? or that "Fruity" popcorn must be aimed at "children and homos".
Likewise, Jason, who took him on a quad-biking expedition to some spectacular scenery in the hills above Waitomo, was rewarded for his kindness with this appreciation of the view: "If you got into nature, this would be like watching an amazing French porno."
This road show seems rude and pointless, but perhaps the object of having Henwood go out spraying the country with his mostly unprintable commentary is to show how amazingly tolerant your heartland Kiwi can be.
Henwood's "homo" obsession might be his schtick but it is alarmingly unfunny, particularly that rant about White Homo (Waitomo, geddit?).
If you find this kind of thing funny, no doubt Roll the Dai will have you Dai laughing. But if you're tempted to sample it on the theory that the best Kiwi comedy is often found in out-of-the-way times and places, you could be disappointed. So far, this little outing has been 100 per cent wit-free.
