It's official: Amy Winehouse is a nightmare

Amy Winehouse tops the list of public figures who haunt Britons' nightmares. Photo / AP

I know, like we need reminding that

Amy Winehouse

is the stuff of nightmares. But hold fire on the cynicism for one cotton-picking second. This is kosher.

Winehouse has

topped a survey

of celebrities Britons have nightmares about.

The survey, conducted by hotel chain Travelodge, asked 3,500 people which celebrity or politician frequent their bad dreams.

Winehouse topped the list. Bug-eyed rocker

Marilyn Manson

came in second, and

Heather Mills

wasn't that far behind.

Here's the top 10:

1.

Amy Winehouse

2.

Marilyn Manson

3.

Gordon Brown

4.

Pete Doherty

5.

The Cheeky Girls

6.

Simon Cowell/Kerry Katona

7.

Cherie Blair

8.

Jodie Marsh

9.

Heather Mills

10.

Alistair Darling

No real surprises there. But where's

James Blunt

and

Margaret Thatcher

?

I'm not surprised Wino topped the list. I recently stumbled upon

this photo

of her. Eek!

Talking of nightmares...

Rumour has it that

Angelina Jolie

reject

Billy Bob Thornton

is to star as

Freddie Krueger

in the remake of

A Nightmare on Elm Street

.

What's even more worrying is that the original Freddy,

Robert Englund

, 61, thinks Thornton is an "excellent choice"

"A big budget should mean the film will look a lot better than some of the old movies," he tells the

Daily Star

.

Little things...

...pleasure little minds.

Jennifer Aniston

split from

John Mayer

earlier this week. Got that bit. But here's another amusing gem which might explain why the couple called time on their relationship.

You see, way before she found fame in

Friends

, Aniston had to make ends meet and starred in a shady B-movie.

The cult classic known as

Leprechaun

, starring a demented little sh** with a penchant for evil, still haunts Aniston to this day, and it's a chapter in her life she'd rather forget.

But, according to

Star

magazine, Mayer has other ideas...

"It really irritates her," says a source. "It's like nails on a chalkboard."

"Jennifer doesn't understand his fascination with it. She says it's weird," adds the source.

Trailer below

Why so...nosey?
Lindsay Lohan

's rumoured bit of skirt,

Samantha Ronson

, tells

Harper's Bazaar

magazine that she just can't understand why people are interested in her relationship with Li-Lo.

"Even the airport security guy in Canada asked me, 'So is it true?'" says Ronson.

"It's like, 'Oh, yeah, I'm telling you.'"

She also says she gives the naughty tabloids a wide birth.

"I stay away from the tabloids. I'm not going to talk about Lindsay because she's my friend, you know? She's great. She's also 22 years old. I think people forget that. With the internet the way it is, one second we're enemies, one second we're best friends, one second we're lovers, and then we're broken up."

The bottom line: Li-Lo's either so far back in the closet, she's in Narnia...or she's just remarkably 'close' to Ronson. Either way, it's her business. Why the obsession with 'outing' her?

Madonna's sweet as

A rep for

Madonna

has piped up to clear a few rumours that have been sweeping the interwebnet for days.

The lowdown:

* Despite what's been reported, Madonna's upcoming tour

will not be cancelled

due to some mystery illness. "We haven't canceled any shows, it's a full go starting on [Aug.] 23," says her rep.

* Madge

will not be adopting another Malawian baby

. Her longtime rep

Liz Rosenberg

says: "There are several totally untrue rumors currently floating around about Madonna. One is that she is canceling shows, canceling a birthday party, that she's adopting a second child from Malawi and that she hurt her ankle. None of these are true."

Job done

Madge's blabbermouth brother

Christopher Ciccone

says he is certain his big sis has had plastic surgery.

Her Madgesty turns 50 tomorrow (Saturday) and is rumoured to be keen to indulge in a spot of nip-tucking to preserve herself.

However, her brother seems to think she's already been under the knife.

"It seems obvious to me that she's had [a facelift]," he says. "Her face has been documented since 1985 and you can line [photos] up through the years.

"Let's just say, if they pulled her face any tighter it would look like a puppet!"

Source:

Now

magazine

Brooke off!

Celebuspawn

Brooke Hogan

is back making unwanted word babies on

her blog

.

She's not happy. She's actually

very

upset.

"Hey guys,

As y'all know, the last 12 months have been crazy. My best friend, almost brother, John has been in the hospital (I pray for him every day), Nick is in jail, my parents are divorcing, mom's dating a younger dude, dad's fighting the good fight, there are lawsuits back to back, and of course the paparazzi are on our ass all the time. Perez Hilton has been a major pain in mine, personally...lol. But what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? I have written about my experiences, reflected them in my lyrics, and recorded some of them as new songs, some as covers of old songs and some as interpolations of other songs. I will share my music with y'all starting tomorrow, Friday the 15th. The first song is about my present life and is called "ThnkU4LettinMeBMahself." Listen to it and write me back.

Brooke"

ThnkU4feednusUrDrvl

Who the hell gave this girl a keyboard for Christmas?

Quotables

"No! What?! Right. I can give you a definite no on that. In one word: No. In two words, hell, no!"

- Kid Rock puts paid to rumours that he's about to team up with Britney Spears for a performance at the MTV VMA.

Want fries with that?

A former

Burger King

employee found himself in hot water this week - for getting naked and

dunking his unmentionables

in one of the 'restaurant's' sinks.

The plonker in question, who goes by the name

Mr. Unstable

, wanted to celebrate his birthday in style, so he decided to have a bath in a sink for a laugh.

Oh, how we laughed.

One of his co-workers videoed the spectacle and later uploaded it onto MySpace.

That's when the local health commissioner got wind of the unauthorised dunking and Mr. Unstable and his co-horts were subsequently fired on the spot.

Here be video of the incident. But don't stress, there are no naughty bits on display. As the video's director so rightly points out, "you can't see his penis or nothin'."

Bat Dance

A little bird tells me that Batman, as in

Adam West

(the original caped crusader), is being lined up for the next season of

Dancing with the Stars

in the US.

A snitch says: "Adam is in outstanding shape.

"He works out an hour a day and walks with his big dog."

Big dog? Is that a naughty euphemism or something? Oh, it's just me and my polluted thoughts then.

Maybe they can get West to perform his funky Bat Dance on the show?

Dance you slaves....Dance for our amusement!

Blind bits

You guess the celebutards.

"This A list television/ B list film actress is on a hit network drama, in a 2007 hit film, and is fairly newly married. In her pre-nup it stipulates that she is to never be alone with another male in her trailer or dressing room. Now, I don't know how her husband is ever going to be able to enforce that without a camera on her 24/7, but apparently she must get into all sorts of trouble when left alone."

CDaN

"Which big-headed northern (UK) actor caused chaos on-set after he jumped on a bed while blind drunk on whiskey and put his back out?"

Mirror

Retro Friday

Just because...it's my birthday (and Madge's tomorrow)!

I'm off to party like it's 2008. Did I mention that it's my birthday?

Iechyd da!

Fast gossip

Scandal is, like, SHRN...

Jolie - Pitt

twins HUGE Bomb for

People

magazine:

AIW

Tori Spelling

walks out of 90210:

ICYDK

Alison Carroll

is the new face of Lara Croft:

GB

Did this chick have an affair with

Jamie Lynn Spears

' baby daddy?

HMG

Tyra Banks

, put down the crimping iron:

PB

The

cutest tabloid cover

ever -

Shiloh Vs Suri

:

PB

Pamela Anderson

gets wasted:

Hollywood Rag

Who wore it best

?

CK

Fashion rules celebrities love to break

:

I'm Not Obsessed

My mate

Natalie Portman

is wearing a tablecloth:

PS

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