KEY POINTS:
I don't have Sky TV. I'd love to have it, but, so I'm told by my wife and my conscience, it's for my own sake that I don't. Now look, I don't want you to think that I'm under the thumb. No way, man. We have a good understanding about audio and visual entertainment in our house - music is my priority, movies hers, and TV - apart from America's Next Top Model and The Amazing Race (yes, shallow, I know) - comes last.
However, if I was to have Sky I would be watching it constantly for these reasons: Sky Sport 1, Sky Sport 2, Sky Sport 3, and ESPN. Give me a rodeo, and I'll watch it. Put a UK Super League game between Hull and St Helens on and I'm there. A Stanley Cup ice hockey game, bring it on.
Of course Sky is more of a necessity than a luxury when the big games are on - like the All Blacks' Tri Nations and World Cup campaigns; the Masters and US PGA golf (I know, sad isn't it?); and go the Warriors (please make the play offs).
Plus, if I had Sky I'm sure I would become a dedicated follower of the NBA and English football.
So as you can see, I just can't have Sky. We moved into a new house six months ago and there's a Sky aerial sitting on the roof. I can see moss starting to grow on it and can't see it being cleaned off by the installation guy any time soon. My name is Scott and I am a sport-watching addict.
But let's continue the sporting theme anyway, shall we?
Typical, I thought, when I read this week that the Kiwi supporters were coming out of the woodwork in Valencia. At the time of writing Team New Zealand were two wins away from winning Louis Vuitton Cup and he right to challenge for the America's Cup. So, for all I know, as you read this, we might be winners now. Woohoo.
However, back to the supporters: good on them for getting there but it took Dean and the lads to gain a 3-0 lead before most of them decided to get on up to Espana.
In contrast to my earlier confession about watching sport, yachting is one game - along with synchronised swimming which is just plain silly - that bores me. It's not the best spectator sport unless you're out on the water, and even then it's probably more interesting being in the excited broth of boats escorting the winning team back to port than the race itself.
A mate of mine with MySky says fast forwarding the morning after is the best way to watch a yacht race because it can be over in minutes.
But like I say, good on the Kiwi supporters for getting there and getting behind our boys. The temperatures are in the late 20s in Valencia, so I wish I was there. And even I'll be a yachting nut for a couple of days if we win the America's Cup.
However, let's hope the supporters in Valencia are not ripping off their beige cricket shirts, using Kiwi flags as lava lavas, and performing too many impromptu hakas in their red socks. Please, please, don't do too many hakas.
Finally, let's spare a thought for the All Blacks. How are they meant to prepare for the biggest year of their, and the rest of New Zealand's rugby loving public's lives, when they're being hassled for an uninspiring first game against France last week.
Okay, so it was pretty lacklustre. But I'd rather be hassling them about something else. I want to scream from the roof of the Cake Tin on Saturday: "Harden up". All except Ali Williams, that is. Nice mongrel last Saturday, chap.
I know the "throat-slitting gesture" of Kapa O Pango has been played down by the players, but look, one of you, Ali perhaps, just rebel and do that powerful and emotive gesture properly. That's one thing that'll harden you up for the game.
I mean, even Richie "The Invincible" McCaw got a bruise last weekend. But, let's hope with Jerry "Bonecrusher" Collins back on board, it'll be the ABs who will be doing the bruising.
