KEY POINTS:
They may not quite be cover material but Prime Minister Helen Clark and husband Professor Peter Davis make it into the Woman's Day out this week.
Why?
They were celebrating Davis' 60th birthday in a private party on Anzac Day at their modest Mt Eden home.
Helen didn't
buy Peter a present as he insisted he didn't want anything.
The likely reason is revealed when we learn that the pragmatic PM only ever gets him useful things like socks and shirts.
And the meanie didn't even get him a cup of tea in bed. No - he got her one she reports, while laughing delightedly.
The highlight of the article is a photo of the pair in 1981, although you'd really wonder if it wasn't snapped in the seventies: Peter in orange beard, light brown suit, cream shirt and brown shoes, and Helen in orange dress, cream collar, and orange shoes. Whoever got them to pose in front of the brown, orange and cream floral curtains was a genius.
But while retro is fashionable, it clearly wasn't fashionable enough in this case to run the photo up front. Instead we have shirty-looking Nicole Kidman and smug-looking Katie Holmes in a "bitter new war" over adopted daughter Isabella.
There is also the wedding of New Zealand actress Melanie Lynskey to American actor Jimmi Simpson, and dancing star Frank Bunce's real life love.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie continue to attract attention, with more reports that their relationship is crumbling as Ange sheds weight and hair while breaking out in uncontrollable shaking.
But if the magazine had really done its homework it would have realised this is only because she is experiencing the pre-wedding jitters of any about-to-be bride.
We know this because New Idea this week has gone to the effort of publishing a wedding photo of the pair on its cover, never mind that it is before the wedding has taken place or even been announced.
New Idea calls it the wedding the world has waited for, but presumably the magazine felt it could wait no longer.
Ange is cunningly cut and pasted in a white dress with Brad against a tropical background. This is because they are planning a wedding in Haiti in a new house they have secretly been building.
So we can now laugh off those breaking-up rumours, just as Brad and Ange do.
Other tit-bits include Lindsay Lohan's hot new romance with a lesbian rock singer, much better than some "pretty boy actor", according to her understanding mother.
But we can lay to rest the lesbian rumours surrounding Oprah as her former girlfriend is now seeing a man.
Our own Rachel Hunter, 37, has got herself a 24-year-old toy boy, as has Renee Zellweger, who is dating an actor 11 years her junior.
Meanwhile, Kate Middleton and her younger sister Pippa are comforting each other over their mutual splits from long-time loves.
We learn that Pippa looks uncannily similar to her famous-for-going-out-with-Prince William sister, possibly something to do with their shared parentage.
Both have been hurt by men reluctant to commit.
On the opposite page Kate has reportedly sent a clear message to Wills that she's not sitting at home crying over him.
We assume she must be over at Pippa's place and crying for him there.
Photos display a new-look Kate who has shed her sensible clothes to break out in a mini-dress for a spot of sexy dancing at the same nightclub where Wills had earlier celebrated his new freedom.
According to reports the Prince had cried "I'm free" while notching up a $25,000 cocktail bill with his mates, not that we want to suggest the future king might be developing a drinking problem.
Instead the magazines pick on a deranged-looking Kirsten Dunst getting trashed in a British pub while Mischa Barton is snapped leaving another pub looking a little under the influence.
On the cover of the New Zealand's Woman's Weekly readers are promised the truth about motherhood from Sally Ridge which seems to include that she's not planning on having any more babies.
She would have had a hard act to follow anyway.
Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross brags in the magazine how after six months of trying she has finally mastered the art of breastfeeding her twins simultaneously.
There is also a special lift-out dedicated to celebrating Shortland Street's 15th birthday.
A selection of the weekly's own magazine covers over the years are reprinted to demonstrate the pulling power of our home-grown celebrities.
And interesting tips are offered, like how to make fake blood with golden syrup and scabs out of cornflakes and Weet-Bix.
