KEY POINTS:
Last month it was Britney's turn for benders. This month it's party time for the Queen.
Hot on the heels of her 80th birthday celebration comes Christmas - a turkey lunch at Sandringham that Woman's Day claims will start a "new era" for the folk at the palace.
Prince Wills and Kate Middleton are still tipped to get engaged and Wills' chosen one has already enjoyed a private lunch with the Queen and a hack about the grounds on horseback.
Fortunately, the intensive royal "knees together when alighting from transport" training prevented any revelations as to the presence of undergarments.
And after previous photographic exposes of royals on the imbibe, it will surely cheer the Queen that Kate is allergic to alcohol.
But one thing that might upset the palace is the apparent desire of Princess Anne's daughter Zara to have children with partner Mike Tindall out of wedlock.
New Idea gets a "world exclusive" on official pics of Brad, Angelina and the UN trio of Jolie Pittlets: Adopted Cambodian Maddox (nickname Mad), Zahara from Ethiopia and the couple's biological daughter Shiloh, born in Namibia.
Mad already has a Cambodian rainforest protection project and a centre for children with HIV or Aids named after him.
And in a clanger of inappropriate juxtaposition, the Idea has briefs on Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend John Mayer recording a duet clumped in with Shelley Long of Cheers fame in rehab after another nervous breakdown and Michael Gilden, little person actor in NCIS, taking his own life.
NZ Woman's Weekly promises the "private triumph, hidden tears and secret fears" of Television NZ blondies Wendy Petrie, Kay Gregory and Karen Olsen.
Just a fortnight ago, the very same magazine listed poor old Wendy in its Worst Dressed list. So what does the celebrity beauty do? She puts herself in its hands to frock up, and its staff plonk her in some prissy white shirt straight out of Little Women. Where is the justice?
Wendy's secret triumph wasn't that secret - it was One News winning the best news award at the Qantas Television Awards. The awards screened on national television and provided endless gloat material for TVNZ promos. But what the heck, it's Christmas.
Weather woman Karen gets the secret fear part and reveals she used to be shy. So far so dull.
On to Kay and the promised "private tears", which turn out not to be wailing and gnashing of teeth in the ad breaks after one of Breakfast co-host Paul Henry's less tactful comments.
Instead she gets in a wee weep while working as a funeral and wedding celebrant in her out-of-office hours.
These revelations are capped off by Wendy saying Kay and Karen rock, man! Karen says Wendy and Kay rock too! Not to be outdone, Kay says Wendy is "a really nice person" and Karen has "inner strength".
Carly Flynn over at TV3 shows a bit more grit, revealing she was way ahead of the rest of Auckland in the SUV fad and as a child used to ram her toy Land-Rover into anything that stood in its way on Christmas Day.
