'I choke with pain': Selma Blair gives harrowing health update

Selma Blair updated fans on her health in a raw Instagram post. Photo / Instagram

Selma Blair has opened up about her struggle with multiple sclerosis, giving fans some brutally honest insight into her life post-diagnosis.

The 46-year-old star shared a photo of herself cuddling a stuffed bear.

She captioned it: "There is a truth with neurodegenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable. It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times."

She continued: "Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price. My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a god send and appreciated. People write me asking how I do it. I do my best."

The mother of one also admitted she struggles to deal with what she's "lost" and the idea of planning for the future.

"I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for. and how challenging it is to walk around," she wrote.

"But my smiles are genuine. This is OK. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening. I can't sleep at night but daytime I have trouble staying awake. I am a grown woman holding onto a bear that belonged to a sister type of mine."

View this post on Instagram

There is a truth with neurogedenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable. It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times. Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price. My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a god send and appreciated. People write me asking how I do it. I do my best. But I choke with the pain of what I have lost (riding) and what I dare hope for. and how challenging it is to walk around . But my smiles are genuine. This is ok. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening. I can’t sleep at night but daytime I have trouble staying awake . I am a grown woman holding onto a bear that belonged to a sister type of mine. ( thank you @k.d.w.r ) we do what we can. I have a full week ahead with mothering and appointments and things to look forward to. But like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It’s not easy. That’s ok. I send love to you. And by the way, this #eileenfisher sweater is my go to cozy tonight in this hotel room. Thank you. And @lorrigoddard_ I can’t thank you enough for the morale boost of blonde. And to my love @mrchrismcmillan 🖤 #humancondition #strengthinvulnerablity #MS #stillanactress #always #willmakeitwork #heartwideopen ❤️ #thisisforallofus. #littlethings PS. Some outlets use quotes as clickbait of suffering. My life is not about suffering. These are moments of sharing in a way that some may find too much, but there is positivity in these posts. A face to a disease I could not get information about from people I saw succeeding. I am succeeding and love my life. It is doable to have some rough moments and express it. No?

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Jan 13, 2019 at 9:57pm PST

Blair said she was finding support and comfort in her friends, family and God saying, "Like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It's not easy. That's OK. I send love to you."

Blair announced her diagnosis in October - also in an Instagram post. She was diagnosed on August 16.

Blair told fans: "I am disabled. I fall sometimes. I drop things. My memory is foggy. And my left side is asking for directions from a broken gps."

However she again added that with the support of those close to her, "we are doing it. And I laugh and I don't know exactly what I will do precisely but I will do my best."

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I was in this wardrobe fitting two days ago. And I am in the deepest gratitude. So profound, it is, I have decided to share. The brilliant costumer #Allisaswanson not only designs the pieces #harperglass will wear on this new #Netflix show , but she carefully gets my legs in my pants, pulls my tops over my head, buttons my coats and offers her shoulder to steady myself. I have #multiplesclerosis . I am in an exacerbation. By the grace of the lord, and will power and the understanding producers at Netflix , I have a job. A wonderful job. I am disabled. I fall sometimes. I drop things. My memory is foggy. And my left side is asking for directions from a broken gps. But we are doing it . And I laugh and I don’t know exactly what I will do precisely but I will do my best. Since my diagnosis at ten thirty pm on The night of August 16, I have had love and support from my friends , especially @jaime_king @sarahmgellar @realfreddieprinze @tarasubkoff . My producers #noreenhalpern who assured me that everyone has something. #chrisregina #aaronmartin and every crew member... thank you. I am in the thick of it but I hope to give some hope to others. And even to myself. You can’t get help unless you ask. It can be overwhelming in the beginning. You want to sleep. You always want to sleep. So I don’t have answers. You see, I want to sleep. But I am a forthcoming person and I want my life to be full somehow. I want to play with my son again. I want to walk down the street and ride my horse. I have MS and I am ok. But if you see me , dropping crap all over the street, feel free to help me pick it up. It takes a whole day for me alone. Thank you and may we all know good days amongst the challenges. And the biggest thanks to @elizberkley who forced me to see her brother #drjasonberkley who gave me this diagnosis after finding lesions on that mri. I have had symptoms for years but was never taken seriously until I fell down in front of him trying to sort out what I thought was a pinched nerve. I have probably had this incurable disease for 15 years at least. And I am relieved to at least know. And share. 🖤 my instagram family... you know who you are.

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Oct 20, 2018 at 11:23am PDT

Blair has co-starred in a number of films and TV shows, including the 2001 hit "Legally Blonde" and 1999's "Cruel Intentions".