He's slept with 1000 women so what makes Mick Hucknall so special?

Mick Hucknall woos the crowds at a Simply Red concert in 2010. Photo / Glenn Taylor

Entertainment sites are buzzing over the revelation that Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall has "probably" slept his way through 1000 women (presumably because "definitely" would have suggested he actually counted them, which immediately transforms anyone from "good with women" to "a total jackass").

I imagine this unnerving disclosure would have provoked the reaction, "What, this guy? THIS GUY?" from most human females. Although admittedly not from the 1000 or so conquests themselves, who obviously saw something in this most unlikely of studs.

Far be it from me to judge what anyone else finds attractive - each to their own, horses for courses, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and any number of similar well-meaning platitudes - but no one's going to start arguing forcefully that Mick's ever been :classically handsome". The flyaway orange curls, the pallor of a corpse and the pout of a teenage girl whenever he's doing what I can only guess is his "sexy" face - none of this makes for mainstream pin-up material. Trust me on this.

Even in the "guilty pleasure" genre of female crushes, Mick's name just doesn't tend to crop up. There are any number of ways to describe the guy who gave us such musical delights as Stars and ... erm ... all those other ones; it's just that "sexy: isn't one of them.

It therefore begs the question: What exactly does it take to bed 1000(ish) women? Surely, if Mick can do it, anyone with a dream, a working appendage and a generous supply of condoms can get there too?

I'd hate you to think of my gender as shallow; we're a sucker for a GSOH and someone who treats us nicely. Just look at the personal ads that clutter Internet dating sites. You may think I've been raining on Mick's face parade, without for a second considering that it could be his overwhelming charisma and kindness which have seen him notch up more lays than I've had hot dinners. I would absolutely love to believe this was true - the only fly in the sexy sex ointment is that Mick has, by his own admission, "absolutely no social skills. I even struggle a bit now. I don't know how to communicate in a conciliatory way where you don't say what you think is true, but you say what you think that person would like to hear to make them like you."

These are not the words of a man who has charmed 1000 women into bed.

There's always the musician angle - some frontmen have the kind of stage presence and out-of-this-world voice that leaves you weak at the knees, regardless of looks or ready wit. The Nick Caves of the world can get a whole audience swooning (both men and women), even when they're knocking on for 60 years old. Heck, I've always had a thing for the Phantom of the Opera, and he's not even real.

It's just that, bless him, Mick doesn't really fall into that category either. Fairground will simply never have women fainting in the aisles, overcome with animal desire.

So, without an insanely alluring appearance, charismatic personality, or even the kind of music that could relieve a girl of her knickers in a heartbeat, what's Mick got that you haven't?

I hate to say it, but the answer's clear.

Thirty million pounds in the bank. (And one of those little gold hoop earrings.)