Have you ever wondered where TVNZ programmes go to die? No I hadn't either, but in exploring the outer reachers of my TV remote, by going to the very ends of the free-to-air earth this week I came across what appears to be New Zealand television's Great Rift Valley.
The channel - which has been named with that rather predictable Koi-woi longing for a pre-urban idyll that never really existed but these days is used to flog everything from beer to to cheese to the All Blacks - is called Heartland.
It's filled with ghosts, some of them hamming it up on early episodes of Shortland Street. There are zombies too, with names like Matthew and Marc. Some of the bodies found in the Heartland have barely been laid to rest, like an early series of Go Girls.
It turns out that Heartland is also where old news stories go to die, though for some reasons someone at the channel has decided to repackage them in a brand new show called, I Was There (weeknights at 7).
For those of us of a certain age, the voice of the long-time but long retired New Zealand Broadcasting Corporation (NZBC) news anchor Dougal Stevenson is something like the voice of God. Well if not God, then a particularly sonorous sat-nav voice. Talk about gravitas! Talk about authority! Talk about setting you on the right path!