Tools down. This week The Block NZ: Villa Wars marked the end of the build, the final bang of the hammer, the last creak of Cat's croak. They said goodbye to their tradesmen. "Goodbye," they said. They said goodbye to their villas. "Oh my God I'm going to miss you so much," they howled.
It was a journey. What a journey it was. What kind of journey was it, exactly? It took Scott of the Antarctic 10 weeks to march to the South Pole. On The Block, it took 10 weeks for four teams of two contestants to trudge from their back yard, through the house, under the house, on top of the house, and finish up last night in their front yard.
Still, the results were more satisfying. "God what an awful place," Scott said of the South Pole. "It's an awesome house," Brooke said last night, admiring the villa she built with Mitch. "Stunning house."
Mitch and Brooke.
"Yep," said Mitch. "Definitely." It's unlikely they're their own harshest critics - they'd have to join the queue - but they're almost certainly their own biggest fans.
And yet all the teams were right to feel pride and not a little awe at what they managed to create. They worked like devils under trying circumstances - TV crews, witless challenges, endless meals of Pita Pit - and did up four houses from top to bottom in 10 weeks. It marked a triumph of the Kiwi spirit. It also confirmed the ideal image we carry of ourselves - practical, dour, narrow.
The Block is a social laboratory. It studies how we work, and how we relax. It examines our customs, and our way of life. It observes the way we talk, and the way we dress. The purpose of the exercise is to reveal all the components that go towards constructing the average New Zealander.
Brooke and Cat.
It's someone who just gets on with it. It's someone who can't get by without saying "awesome" or "legend" 20 times a day. It's someone who worships at the altar of real estate. It's someone who could be Chinese or Maori or European. It's someone who wears More FM T-shirts. It's someone who knows their way around a paintbrush and a nail gun, and has the stamina to do up a house from top to bottom in 10 weeks. Practical, dour, narrow...
Sarah and Minanne.
Sociology aside, The Block is complete goddamned junk, but it's so cleverly and wittily edited that it resembles entertainment. It's certainly very good family viewing. Our house were hooked. I'd never watched it before - I used to have standards - but quickly came to enjoy its intense study of the New Zealand character as well as its mindless air of frivolity, and nagged the family to sit with me and watch it night after night, week after week. It was a journey. What a journey it was. Was it really a journey?
Cat and Jeremy.
As viewers, we were stuck in houses 1, 2, 3 and 4. Nothing much ever happened. Sometimes nothing at all happened. But the contestants made it worthwhile. Sarah and Minanne never gave up. Brooke and Mitch never shut up telling us how wonderful they were. New Zealand's nicest people were quickly revealed as Jeremy and croaking, creaking Cat. Hayden and Jamie stayed loyal to their vision: once they went black, they never went back.
Jamie and Hayden.
The grand finale is held on Sunday night when the four villas are put to auction. The contestants will watch from Auckland's Rendezvous Hotel. Their futures depend on it. Anything could happen. Nothing could happen. But one thing's for sure. The Block NZ: Villa Wars will end, bringing to a close its long, harrowing journey to the middle of the New Zealand psyche.
The Block contestants say goodbye.
Game over. Let the bids begin. It won't be the same without Jeremy and Cat, Sarah and Minanne, Brooke and Mitch, and Jamie and Hayden; and we'll all miss Jeremy and Cat, Sarah and Minanne, and Jamie and Hayden.
