Food for thought

MasterChef New Zealand judges Ross Burdon, Simon Gault and Ray McVinnie.. Photo / Frances Oliver

I ate some Vogel's toast with cream cheese and tomato while I watched this Wednesday's episode of MasterChef New Zealand. On the urging of judges Judith Tabron, Simon Gault, Ray McVinnie and Ross Burdon I had to pause the programme and go to the kitchen to put some more salt on it. This seems to be the paramount advice for anyone aspiring to a Michelin star.

Contestant Jill's curried lamb and kumara pie was "lacking a bit more salt". Or was it the pear and custard tart that needed extra sodium? Quite possibly both. It was enough to put your blood pressure up just to watch.

"Most of all I want to see seasoning. Salt is the cook's friend," said guest judge Tabron. There were other things I learned in this week's pie challenge, in which the nine remaining contestants had two-and-a-half hours to make two pies - one savoury and one sweet. First, never attempt a banoffee (banana and toffee) pie unless you know what you're doing. "I knew it was risky," said down-to-earth Steve. "But I wanted to make something really unctuous." It was. Also, do not put pumpkin seeds in a pumpkin pie unless you want the texture of swallowing beetles.

Forget the cooking advice, though. The best thing about MasterChef New Zealand is the personality of the adorable contestants. In most reality shows, especially American ones, the contestants really are "unctuous". They are shameless skites, all buttery bravado and boasting and bluster. But not our hard-case Kiwi wannabe MasterChefs. There is no fake self-confidence from these cooks. They are the Tui billboards come to life.

"I think I made a tarte tartin once about 10 years ago and it was a complete disaster," confessed tough-nut Nigel. Meanwhile, Kirsty was not entirely confident the leeks were going to work. And young Karen? "I need to man up."

When in doubt, think the worst. "Simon gives you that look - it's menacing," commented Brett.

Even when the contestants are trying to talk up their dishes they are self-deprecating. "I thought the mashed potato might be an edible touch," said Mark. But don't aim too high - not being poisonous is a good start. At least he was on the right track, unlike another wannabe who contributed a rosemary garnish.

MasterChef New Zealand is not really a cooking show - it is a window into our national psyche. And I love it. Even when one luminous contestant was told her pumpkin pie "was just nasty" she cracked a high-wattage grin. "Wicked." Where do they find these gorgeous, upbeat people? I kept expecting someone to say "Chur, bro".

The personalities are far more interesting than the cooking - that part is ho-hum. Said Tabron: "To create a great dish you need quality ingredients, cooked well with texture and taste." You don't say? And a very big pinch of salt.

* MasterChef New Zealand screens on TV One, Wednesdays at 7.30pm.