Max Key claims his new song Fantasy is one of the 'hottest' of the year. Photo/YouTube
Max Key is forging ahead with plans to become the world's biggest DJ by dropping "the hottest music video and single of the year".
The former Prime Minister's son made that bold claim on Instagram after releasing the video for his new song, Fantasy.
It's Maxy's third single as he tries to reach his goal of "touring the world, [making] more tracks".
He told Newshub: "I want to hit the Billboard top 100 one day."
Let's see if Fantasy's going to go - ahem - all the way.
1. It's not a music video - it's a 'vision'
Fantasy's opening shot looks pretentious - and it really, truly is. Who else calls their pretty average attempt at a music video a "vision"? But there's more here than meets the eye. Note the gloomy cliff tops. Take in the creepy caves. Have a good long look at that Halloween-style lettering. All that murderous foreboding means something. We're about to find out what.
2. Another day, another (hopefully well paid) model
Max Key's previous video, All the Way, featured Key cheerlessly frolicking on an island with a bikini-clad blonde. There was one great moment where he appeared to give birth to her from the back of a jet ski. You can relive those wonderful memories below.
But here, there are some key differences. Firstly, Fantasy's star is a brunette. Secondly, the bikini's been swapped for lingerie. Thirdly, the sunny Pacific hotspot has been swapped for a grim West Auckland beach.
Fourthly, Max Key is barely in it. The changes effectively turn a music video featuring a couple suffering from a lack of chemistry into a B-grade stalker film. I've already seen I Know What You Did Last Summer. I know how it ends.
3. Black hands
Hmm. What's weird with this picture? Well, yes, sure, that artwork is offensive. If I had to look at that all day, I might get murdery. But more worrisome is that a woman in a lacy nightie appears to be running down the hall from a home intruder. Look at those outstretched hands. It's Fantasy's first sign that something is about to go horribly wrong.
4. Somebody's about to get straight up murdered yo
Let's paint a picture. You're in the woods, enjoying getting back to nature. The sun is shining, crickets are chirping, and you're sipping from a fresh water spring. Suddenly, a woman wearing only lingerie and a nightie stumbles past you. Behind her is a man sporting dodgy facial hair. He's wearing his cap backwards, and he's filming everything. What do you do? YOU GET OUT YOUR PHONE AND CALL THE POLICE BEFORE THIS TURNS INTO A FREAKING SAW FILM, THAT'S WHAT.
5. There is no escape
Having just seen the first season of Jane Campion's tremendous, traumatising Top of the Lake, I speak with experience: this scenario - two people standing on a clifftop near a windswept beach - looks painfully close to a key moment in the show. There's only one way it can end. Spoiler warning: someone winds up at the bottom of that cliff. If this is a fantasy, it just turned into a nightmare.
Watch the full video for Fantasy below:
Is Max Key okay? Why have things suddenly gotten so dark and grim? Does he need a hug? Or at the very least a haircut?
A recent Instagram post might explain his state of mind. In it, Maxy reveals he might have made the video because "my parents don't love me and went to Europe without me".
At the time of writing, Fantasy's YouTube video has been viewed 3199 times.
* Disclaimer: The author of this piece once spent an entire week listening to nothing but Max Key's All the Way. He's never really recovered.
The Australian site cited a 'heightened threat level' as the issue.