Beatrice Hazlehurst reads the gossip mags, so you don't have to.
Pippa leaves family in limbo for Seven Sharp
Seven Sharp is welcoming Pippa Wetzell into Toni Street's highly coveted seat next to friend and New Zealand media nice guy Mike Hosking. Over a glass of cider with Woman' s Day, the host says she is learning to cope with the guilt of being a working mum - although serving up children repeated meals of baked beans on toast, as well as a part-time nanny, are easing the strain.
Juggling a career and and a household is nothing new to Wetzell, who, after returning from a "dream holiday" in France, faced a hell known to women alone: moving into a new house and seeing the kids back to school, all while filming Fair Go. However she has been blessed with children that are "such good travellers" (the luck!) which must help the astronomically tall Wetzell (1.8 metres to be precise, a fact so outlandish WD felt it deserved a mention) to cope with the stresses of vacationing.
No word as to how Wetzell's husband Torrin Crowther maintains his partnership at a law firm while balancing home life. We can only pray he is coping as well as Wetzell, but that's (hopefully) another WD article for another day.
Tom Cruise is reportedly on the look-out to entrap his latest Hollywood starlet, this time actress Lupita Nyong'o. Lupita has told a no-doubt highly reliable source that she is "just having fun". Although their "special bond" is undeniable, the Oscar winner and Hollywood golden girl is said to be "star struck" in Cruise's presence (who is yet to obtain his own golden statue).
Actor Tom Cruise. Photo / Getty Images
Meeting secretively at Cruise's place or hotels, the pair are "getting to know each other" so Cruise can boost Nyong'o's career - obviously, what were you thinking? Lupita has become an expert at sneaking in and out unnoticed, because everyone knows discretion should be the number one priority for all business meetings.
Where does this leave Katie Holmes, you ask? Why, being "too flirty" on set of her new TV show of course. Apparently, no one has informed Holmes that touching her hair, laughing at the jokes of her married co-star Liev Schreiber and generally being pleasant is no way for a 36-year-old single mother to behave. She has even tried to "engineer" playdates between his two children and Suri. Katie, why do you have to embarrass yourself like this?
Prince Harry seeks love down under
New Zealand is soon to be graced by the royal presence of a newly single Prince Harry, traveling across the world for one reason: love. Despite working with Australian defence forces, finding a "good Kiwi woman" is said to be the real reason for the Prince's first visit to Aotearoa. After several relationships, Harry realised he has been looking for girls in all the wrong places i.e. outside of New Zealand. Both Woman's Day and New Idea offer up a range of possibilities, 80 per cent of whom are already in long-term relationships, but hey, no one would stay loyal around a royal, right New Idea?
Prince Harry. Photo / Getty Images
Chairman of Monarchy New Zealand and amateur matchmaker Dr Sean Palmer says ensuring Harry finds a Kiwi girlfriend hinges on him being in the country frequently, which he believes would "dramatically improve [Harry's] odds". Curious. No word as to Palmer's strategy to make sure Harry doesn't leave the country, but he's selling Harry's "relaxed" persona and "cheeky sense of humour" to New Zealand women with the skill of an auctioneer.
"The world is getting smaller and there is a lot more of this 'international exchange'," says the monarchist progressively. "I would say the odds of Harry getting involved with a Kiwi woman now are much better than they were 100 years ago." Considering Harry wasn't alive 100 years ago, we couldn't agree more.
Suzanne Paul hits menopause head on
Women go through menopause and Suzanne Paul wants you to know it's happening to her. Women's Weekly's four-page spread documents the infomercial queen's struggle with "the change", including a detailed account of obscure symptoms such as hot flushes in Winter and crying "at the drop of a hat".
Suzanne Paul. Photo /Getty Images
Contrary to popular belief, Paul assures women that it is possible to go on living post-menopause and women shouldn't wave goodbye to any kind of life after "the change" is upon them. Thank you for clearing that up Suzanne.
Paul believes many women think that menopause means they should be "put out to pasture" - obviously because menopause is a disease which impedes brain function. "I'm certainly not finished yet," says a feisty Suzanne Paul, even though her body is "falling apart".
A comprehensive amount of supplements and the picture of her '#menopauseinspo' Jane Fonda, keeps her soldiering on through this tough time. You get 'em Suzanne.
Kate's disturbing pregnancy woes worsen
Duchess of Cambridge. Photo / Getty Images
In this week's installment of Kate Middleton's abandonment saga, the Duchess - currently eight months pregnant - was exhibiting the strain of pregnancy while Will conducts official visits in Asia.
Sparking panic in media outlets around the world, Kate wore an Alexander McQueen dress not designed for pregnancy (why do you have to be such a rebel Kate?) while displaying fine lines on her forehead when she raised her eyebrows (why do you have to be so human Kate?).
The duchess' smile also appeared so "plastered" on that it is probably better for her not to smile at all. With "acute morning sickness" added to her list of difficulties, Kate is selfishly in shocking condition. Come on Kate, think of the people, thinking of you.
