Married At First Sight is a watchable trainwreck, and I'm absolutely hooked. Photo / Geoff Magee
Opinion
Warning: Contains spoilers.
“How much of Married At First Sight Australia is staged?”
That was the question I immediately googled after finishing the first episode of the 12th season of the cultural phenomenon, which also happened to be my first ever.
But whether, like me, you question the validity of the show or are a diehard fan and believer from day one, there’s no denying it’s one of the most watchable pieces of trainwreck television out there.
Year after year, people have told me to watch this “social experiment” that annually dominates screens here and across the ditch.
Maybe it’s my newfound obsession with The Block or my long-held love of My Kitchen Rules, but Mafs seemed to take all the best bits of those shows and pile them into one glossily produced spectacle of epic proportions.
Amid the bratty bridesmaids, shock twists, and dramatically sweeping soundtrack of episode one, there was something weirdly human about it all that hooked me from the get-go.
If, like me, you’re a first-time viewer, let’s whiz through the simple premise. [If you’re already a committed fan, scroll down to find out who’s who in this new season].
Two “strangers” (we’ll query this later when the first bombshell unfolds) get matched by dating and relationship experts and are married.
Alongside other new couples in the same boat, they undergo the trials and tribulations of marriage at a breakneck speed.
Naturally, this leads to heated debates, scandals, and plenty of opportunities to put these newfound relationships to the test.
Are there cringe moments? Yep. Are there some pretty unrealistic views on relationships? You bet there are.
But if you’re looking for villains, heroes, redemption, and pure escapist television that you shouldn’t take too seriously, Mafs has you covered.
The first meeting, or what was supposedly the bucks and hens’ nights, gave us a small taste of what was to come.
I can already tell I’ll be rooting for mid-50-year-old Tony, who lives in his inherited family home that comes complete with the chickens he looks after.
There’s also smart, caring chief executive Katie, 37, who is revealed to have seemingly given up on relationships after a string of rejections.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, it’s clear that young Jamie, 28, is going to ruffle a few feathers, with her lewd and loud demeanour that one contestant described as “boganic” (referencing ‘bogan’ attitudes I assume?).
Things also seem to get a bit problematic with Eliot, a mid-30s Gold Coaster who believes in “traditional” relationships and threatens to quit the experiment if his partner doesn’t meet his standards checklist.
There are two arranged weddings in episode one, both with more drama and intrigue than you can shake a stick at.
We’re first introduced to Carina and Paul, a digital marketing manager and a wellness advisor from Perth.
Carina, 31, who is from a large Italian family, is the last of her siblings to get married and hopes to finally settle down with a man who shares the same family values.
Enter Paul, 30, a dashing French expat who the relationship experts — John Aiken, Mel Schilling and Alessandra Rampolla — believe will tick all Carina’s boxes.
It seems like a match made in heaven. They sure look good together, and an approval of “he’s hot” from an outspoken aunty at the altar seemingly gives the family tick of approval.
(Happy) tears are shed at what seemed to be a flawless ceremony, with both sides of the family elated at the arranged marriage.
But behind closed doors, things take a shocking turn in what was described as a “Mafs Australia first”.
“I know him,” Carina tells producers, revealing she’d been “ghosted” by Paul after a date eight months prior.
Things are already on the rocks for the seemingly ideal couple, but Paul vows to make amends believing that fate has once again brought them together.
“I was not in a really good place at the time,” he said, explaining why he decided not to continue contact.
The reception banquet begins icily, with Carina keeping her guard up until Paul offers to tell her family members the full story.
Seeing her new husband be truthful and vulnerable in front of her folks seemingly flicks a switch for Carina, and she starts the process of forgiving Paul for his prior actions. They later share a passionate kiss outside the church.
Could this fairytale second chance turn to disaster once they meet the other couples? Or could a disastrous honeymoon derail the suddenly rebuilt trust? I wait with bated breath to find out.
I wrote earlier about villains. Enter Eliot, a man with an attitude so well-versed, you’d think he’s the antagonist of a Marvel movie.
The experts have matched him up with Brisbane-based Lauren, 37, an “old school” romantic who believes “traditional gender roles” play a part in relationships and thinks she was “born in the wrong era”.
Eliot states he will immediately walk out at the altar if there isn’t a spark between him and his bride-to-be, so tensions are high from the start.
Adding to this, Lauren’s sister Tamara is the ultimate ‘bridesmaidzilla’, exuding catty main character energy and clearly loving being in front of the cameras.
Sibling bickering aside, the ceremony goes relatively smoothly with the couple impressed by each other’s views on traditional relationships. Eliot is yet to walk out, a promising sign.
But it was almost ironic that the wedding reception was held in what looked to be a historic theatre, as you would be forgiven for thinking you were watching a melodrama unfold in front of you.
Tamara is immediately enamoured with Eliot’s best man, seeking attention and getting rejected any chance she gets.
Her snide comments and conversation butt-ins clearly annoy Lauren and distress Eliot, who wasn’t prepared for this to be part of the package.
At one point, Tamara storms out of the building for not getting her pescatarian meal, leaving Lauren on the verge of tears and Eliot second-guessing his new partnership.
Eliot seemed to have ruffled a few feathers with his fellow grooms at the buck’s night; will Lauren soften him up or will the relationship fall off quicker than it began?
And that’s where episode 1 leaves us: bewildered, hopeful, shocked, and ultimately, ready for the rollercoaster ahead of us.
Married At First Sight Australia kicked off on Monday, February 3rd on ThreeNow. It will treat viewers to new episodes at 7pm every Sunday-Wednesday, weekly.
Mitchell Hageman joined the Herald’s entertainment and lifestyle team in 2024. He previously worked as a multimedia journalist for Hawke’s Bay Today.
The couple walked the carpet together, with Censori in a custom-made see-through dress.