Anthony Hopkins as Burt Munro in The World's Fastest Indian.
Many have tried, but few actors have nailed the Kiwi accent. Dominic Corry looks at the successful ones, and some of the failures.
I am unashamedly one of those people who gets really excited when New Zealand is mentioned in a movie.
Even Kiwis who moan about other Kiwis getting excited about this sort of thing feel some of that very same excitement in their heart. They just don't want to admit it.
I also access this excitement when an overseas actor - who isn't Australian - attempts a New Zealand accent, be it in a Kiwi film or one made elsewhere.
It's a very tough nut to crack, and few have ever done so successfully.
Which is why I am eagerly anticipating seeing actors like Keira Knightley and Emily Watson tackle our native intonations in the upcoming epic true-story Everest, which of course features a bunch of Kiwi characters.
To mark the imminent release of the film, and also partially inspired by this super-awesome video, I am going to cite here five notable instances of foreign actors attempting a Kiwi accent, and attempt to assess how well they did.
I'm excluding Australians because they've sort of got an inside track with this and also their attempts are seldom noteworthy. I just don't think they allow themselves to perceive the nuances of the New Zealand accent. Although by all accounts Jason Clarke acquits himself well as Rob Hall in Everest.
Anthony Hopkins in The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
The Welshman's well-received turn as landspeed record breaker Burt Munro in Roger Donaldson's beloved film currently serves as the standard-bearer for foreigners attempting Kiwi accents.
The classically-trained Oscar-winning actor absolutely nails the barely-articulated-ramble-punctuated-by-sparks-of-thin-vocal-energy that defines New Zealand diction.
Hopkins' application of a 'less is more' approach to his performance style results in superlative levels of authenticity.
Elizabeth Moss in Top of the Lake (2013)
Okay not a film but I thought Moss did a pretty admirable job of expressing the passive, dull qualities of the Kiwi accent in Jane Campion's highly cinematic mini-series.
Her character has just returned from some time in Sydney, which helps to justify the occasional twangy burst, but in the final assessment, it's hard to think of any other American actors that have come remotely this close to capturing our unique warble.
Matthew Macfadyen in In My Father's Den (2004)
Macfadyen doesn't try nearly as hard as Hopkins. He barely seems to be trying at all with his accent, even when you consider that his character has been living overseas for ages and all that. The inadvertent understatement that results is more effective than it should be - Macfadyen's tiniest gestures go a very long way, again suggesting that an authentic Kiwi accent is best achieved with as little discernible effort as possible.
Like Hopkins, Macfadyen is a graduate of London's Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, supporting the notion that Brits with classical training are generally the best at this sort of thing. A conclusion which can't help but feel a little...colonial. Also perhaps of note is the strange surfeit of mellow musical tribute videos for In My Father's Den on YouTube. Although to be fair, at least two are clearly from swoony Matthew Macfadyen fans.
Jean Simmons, Piper Laurie, Sandra Dee and Joan Freaking Fontaine as 'Iceberg' Annie in Until They Sail (1957)
Three and a half years ago, I mentioned encountering this nutty film late one night on TCM. Only TCM can offer up delights this unpredictable.
The four leading ladies, all legends in their own way, play sisters engaged in various degrees of romance with visiting soldiers in Christchurch and Wellington during World War II.
As one might presume, the central awesome foursome deliver predictably familiar 'official' British tones with minor misguided inflections.
Paul Newman barely lets the girls get a word-in edgewise in these online clips of the film, although the crass trailer is a must-watch. "Too proper to get involved. Too human not too".
Until They Sailed was based on a novel called Return To Paradise (and it really is) by prolific doorstop generator James A Michener (Hawaii, Alaska, Poland, Space).
Speaking of American movies set in New Zealand, which may be the least-populated sub-genre in all of cinema, I recently ordered a copy of this Universal Pictures production, a film I've been looking forward to watching for a while. I hope it's not in Spanish.
Here is footage from the premiere in Wellington in 1954. Aunt Daisy was there, of course. She'd turned up to the opening of a (Croxley) envelope.
Steve Guttenberg in Don't Tell Her It's Me aka The Boyfriend School. (1990)
At the beginning of Steve Guttenberg's now mythic 'mid-period' - the time after Three Men and Little Lady but before Veronica Mars and Party Down, the 'Berg starred in this embarrassing comedy that went straight to VHS in New Zealand.
He plays Gus Kubicek, a cartoonist hilariously recovering from a two-year bout of Hodgkin's Desease and pining for the disinterested Emily Pear (Jami Gertz). Gus' sister Lizzie (Shelley Long) gives him a desirability makeover which entails a whole new persona - Lobo Marunga, a rough Kiwi biker with a huge mullet and an oilskin coat.
Lizzie's theory is that the only fake accent Gus'll be able to get away with is one nobody's ever heard - ergo he will be a man from Aotearoa, New Zealand. There's an idyllic sequence in which Guttenberg practices his Kiwi accent with a walkman. How did the Stonecutters let it come to this?
As all over the place as Guttenberg's efforts are, the fact that the didgeridoo shows up on the soundtrack when he's (crudely) attempting to cite a Maori custom makes me think we should probably just be grateful that he's not simply offering up something plainly Australian.
GuttenLobo's words almost sorta sound kind of right every now and then, even if no other aspect of the character-within-a-character manages to.
* Which attempts at a Kiwi accent by a foreign performer made an impression on you? Have you seen Land of Fury aka The Seekers? Comment below!