Brooke and Mitch were disqualified on last night's episode of The Block.
Brooke and Mitch were disqualified on last night's episode of The Block.
It was the double room, double reveal, double whopper shocker last night on The Block NZ: Villa Wars. Brooke and Mitch got disqualified, and so were Jeremy and Cat. The dumped four took it badly. Cat was lost for croaks, and creaked, "Crock."
Jeremy looked like he wanted a lie-down. Brooke and Mitch looked like they wanted to kill. Hayden looked that way too, but it was over something else altogether - he was filled with such blind rage that you could tell he didn't even notice the chaos swirling all around him.
What an episode! Much of it was set in the kitchen. "Kitchens sell homes," said Brooke. "Kitchens sell homes," said Jamie. "I've heard that kitchens sell homes," said Sarah. Where had she heard that?
Quite a lot of it was set in the other room reveal, the hallway. Do hallways sell homes? It's the first thing you see when you enter a house so obviously it's got to count for something. It's a hall, but it's also a way. It sets the tone. It sends a message. Above all, it needs a door, which meant that Cat and Jeremy were screwed.
They have form with doors. Twice in the past, they forgot to put handles on doors. Once they put in a door upside down. Just to clarify, the door was upside down, not Cat and Jeremy. Last night they couldn't be arsed painting the door to the hallway, and forgot to oil the hinges. It creaked something wicked, or was that Cat?
Her scratchy vocal fry notwithstanding, Cat and Jeremy have impressed throughout the series as immensely likeable Kiwis who are never slow to lend a helping hand. They're modest, laidback, generous, and possess many other qualities entirely absent in Brooke and Mitch.
There were the dreadful pair last night, pouting and guffawing as per, both slurring their way through a New Zild accent so thick that it makes John Key sound like he's speaking English. Brooke has never been slow to brag about their expensive junk, and Mitch got in on the act last night when he commented on an artwork so horrifying that it should have inspired the show's editors to introduce some ominous music.
"I think my art taste is generally on trend," droned Mitch. Only a bozo would agree with that assessment. "I love it," said Jason the judge. "Me too," said Bernadette the judge. They scored Brooke and Mitch an all-time high score of 19.5 out of 20 - but then Mark the host announced they were disqualified for breaking the rules. "Bullshit!", said Brooke. Mark explained they should have paid for the table made for them by their builder. "Bullshit!", said Brooke. A preview of tonight's show featured a tiff between Brooke and Cat. "Bullshit!", said Brooke.
Last night's disqualifications - Cat and Jeremy had also broken the rules by accepting free labour - meant that Sarah and Minanne's third-highest score made them the winner of best kitchen. The sisters could have taken it with good grace and issued a quiet, meaningful hard-luck-mate sort of thing to Brooke and Mitch, but they howled and wailed, and screeched, "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Overwrought, over-anxious, over their heads - everyone's over them.
An emotional Sarah and Minanne.
Dale their builder was never really into them. He wasn't ever going to lift a finger to go out of his way to build them a glass-legged table like builder Piet did for Brooke and Mitch. "It looks like it's floating," said Piet. Yes, like a barrel, hurtling down Huka Falls. Brooke and Mitch accepted his free gift without a second thought - cheers mate we deserve it, sort of thing - and it sent them crashing to their doom.
How they moaned! They're always moaning about something - there they were in yesterday's paper, moaning about harsh reviewers - but they should have known better than to accept something for nothing. It's against the rules. The only free lunch at The Block is courtesy of Pita Pit.
Man cannot live on Pit alone but it seems that way on The Block. The show's sponsors serve their scoff morning, noon, and night. "Here you go, guys!", Sarah screeched last night, presenting the labourers with yet another platter of pita. "Yay," they said, like men given news of the date and time of their death.
Hayden also had death on his mind. Violent, righteous death. You could tell by the murderous look on his face at judging that he wanted Jason and Bernadette put to their sword. They hated his graffiti splashback. We know they hated it because Jason said, "I hate it!" In case there was any confusion, he added, "It's hideous."
Jamie and Hayden's kitchen was hated by the judges on The Block.
He had a point. But it was true to Hayden's vision of himself. That was his life on the splashback. J'suis splashback. "I want it," he said, "to slap Jason in the face." It duly delivered said slap. Jason was horrified. But he simply turned the other cheek, and scored Hayden's kitchen three out of 10. Hayden was not amused. Hayden was seething. Hayden quite clearly wanted to bust a cap in Jason's ass. He's going to have to be frisked at next Sunday's live auction.
One week left, one week to go; it's going to be tense. Good luck to everyone. Tonight's episode promises more tears. The stakes are high. A win on The Block can set you up for life. "It's an opportunity we want to grab with both hands," said Brooke. They were crushed by Mark's ruling. Is it time to feel sorry for the Christchurch couple?
