Teuila Blakely and Scott Cole perform their 'hip-hop-infused cha-cha' on Dancing With the Stars.
Teuila Blakely and Scott Cole perform their 'hip-hop-infused cha-cha' on Dancing With the Stars.
One danced to Frozen hit Let It Go. Another seemed to turn 'planking' into interpretive dance. And a third chose Ice Ice Baby as her theme music. Calum Henderson wraps up the bizarre antics from the latest episode of Dancing With the Stars.
Colin Mathura-Jeffree knocked confidently on the backstage VIP door. He was three hours early for Monday night's elimination show.
"Who are you?" asked the woman who opened the door.
Christie scoffed. "You look nothing like him. Get lost."
"I am so him. I just got cornrows for some reason. Look!"
He did a perfectly-executed cha-cha move on the spot.
Christie laughed. "Look mate. This is a two-bit amateur dancing show. You're obviously a professional. Leave my empire immediately."
Nobody saw Colin Mathura-Jeffree ever again.
Simon Barnett & Vanessa Cole
Simon Barnett and Vanessa Cole perform on Dancing with the Stars.
Simon welcomes us to tonight's 'Winter Wonderland' theme with a lovely warming foxtrot to Christmas standard Baby It's Cold Outside. With his kneecap malfunction now a distant memory, the rise from bare-chested dancing zero to tuxedoed national dancing hero is finally complete. If Simon can continue on this trajectory he's not just going to win, the City of Christchurch is going to erect a bronze statue of him in the middle of its shipping container mall. Judges' score: 27
Shane Cameron & Nerida Cortese
Shane Cameron and Nerida Cortese perform on Dancing with the Stars.
For a man who seems like his wardrobe consists exclusively of Ed Hardy T-shirts and cargo shorts, Shane is really making the most of the new sartorial horizons opened to him here. This week he is dressed like a dapper baby at a wedding. So cute in his little powder blue and white suit, he's quite happy quickstepping away to a deeply unlikeable music hall version of Rihanna's Umbrella. This is so much better than boxing. Judges' score: 21
Pam Corkery and Matt Tatton Brown perform on Dancing With the Stars.
Pam seems to be carrying the hopes and dreams of all the cynical dance agnostics out there. When she's having a laugh it's a rare, thrilling joy, but there's something a little bit grim about seeing her sternly tango to the Eurythmics' Here Comes the Rain Again. That said, after graciously enduring some weird negs from the judges, Pam bags a respectable 17, which could be her new personal best. Is she gaining momentum? Judges' score: 17
Siobhan Marshall & Charlie Billington
Siobhan Marshall and Charlie Billington dance to Frozen hit Let It Go on Dancing With the Stars.
If it all goes to hell in a handbag for Siobhan after Dancing With the Stars - and who knows, it might! - at least she can make a living on the birthday party circuit as a Frozen princess. The judges' score of 25 for her waltz to Let It Go - or 'Frozen' as Dominic Bowden repeatedly mislabels it - is bound to look good on her CV. Do you even need a CV to do birthday parties? Do kids even like Frozen any more? Nah ... It'll be fine. Judges' score: 25
Ben Barrington & Krystal Stewart
Ben Barrington and Krystal Stewart perform on Dancing with the Stars.
Ben Barrington's continuing presence on this show is one of the enduring mysteries of our time. For the 100th week in a row the judges slam his performance - a rhumba to the grating Christina Perri hit Jar of Hearts - and for the 100th straight week New Zealand's strangest people are quite possibly going to vote him to safety. Who are they, and why do they like Ben Barrington so much? He hasn't even been on Shortland Street - how good can he really be? Judges' score: 14
Jay-Jay Harvey & Enrique Johns
Jay-Jay Harvey and Enrique Johns perform on Dancing With the Stars.
Jay-Jay, who fell over last week, is determined not to be remembered for falling over last week. The first step to redemption is an "angry tango" to Set Fire to the Rain. No lifts, but instead a lot of moves that look a bit like 'planking' - the cheerfully moronic fad which swept the nation about five years ago. Perhaps unsurprisingly Jay-Jay is very good at planking, and this is her strongest performance since week one. Judges' score: 21
Chrystal Chenery & Jonny Williams
Chrystal Chenery and Jonny Williams perform on Dancing With the Stars.
As memories quickly fade, Chrystal has been forced by producers to change her name to Chrystal Chenery-from-The-Bachelor in order to justify her ongoing TV presence. After flirting with elimination last week, the former-Bachelor contestant goes all out with a Viennese waltz to Seal's Kiss From a Rose. It pays off, and she scores a very solid 25 - but will it be enough to save her from the chop now that the voting public has completely forgotten who she is? Judges' score: 25
Teuila Blakely & Scott Cole
Teuila Blakely and Scott Cole perform their 'hip-hop-infused cha-cha' on Dancing With the Stars.
Last week's sultry rhumba was one of the dances of the series so far - this week Teuila has done a 180 and is doing a "hip-hop-infused cha-cha" to Ice Ice Baby. It's a risky move, but it's fun and at least pays lip service to the 'winter' theme, unlike most the other dances. Unfortunately the judges are all running for the Conservative Party leadership and they don't want a bar of it. If Teuila gets kicked off as a result of this performance it'll be the biggest TV outrage since what's-her-name - Kendall? - got eliminated from The Bachelor. Judges' score: 13
