KEY POINTS:
The world can now rest easy; Russell (the muscle) Crowe has finally conceded that his tantrums and irritable behaviour stems from deep-rooted low self-esteem.
Well I'll be...who would have guessed it. I bet psychiatrists across the globe are kicking themselves for not pinpointing that one sooner.
Like all bullies with inflated egos, Russell hid his dark secret well.
"Any negativity I had with it stems from self-worth issues. I don't rate myself or consider myself to be worthy of that sort of thing. So when people approach me my reaction is sometimes negative. But I'm a lot calmer with it now."
Good on you, Russell. We'll remind you of that the next time you're tanked up and aiming a mobile phone at some poor bloke in a bar.
Britney loses custody of sprogs
Poor Britney's fall from grace shows no sign of abating.
She's been ordered to hand over her two sons to her former husband, Kevin Federline. A judge in Los Angeles ruled that Sean Preston, two, and one-year-old Jayden James be put in Kevin's sole custody.
News of the former pop star's reaction has yet to hit the news, but she's apparently already handed the kids over to Kevin's bodyguard.
And just when we all thought things couldn't get any worse for Britney, it appears that indeed they can.
The internet is buzzing with news of another sex tape featuring the bumbling blonde (or is that brunette these days?).
Celebrity news website In Touch reports that some bloke she met while on holiday in June made a video of them having sex together.
The 28-year-old man describes the sex as "disappointing" and remarks that the only reason the video hasn't seen the light of day is because he's so ashamed of his performance.
How tacky.
Is Britney on the verge of an immaculate celebrity meltdown? Absolutely. Sad? Undeniably.
Where There's Smoke...
Singer George Michael has revealed where his musical talent comes from. No, it's not from the great Almighty, or from the demon weed, but from a bump on the head as an 8-year-old.
Yes, I kid you not. George lays his good fortune squarely at the feet of the aforementioned head trauma which, let's be honest, must have been one hell of a knock to enable him to sustain such a glittering career.
George blurted his oddball confession to a bemused presenter on BBC Radio programme Desert Island Discs last week. And if his story holds water, then we can safely deduce the incident helped change the face of pop forever.
The maverick singer also revealed that he's "constantly" trying to cut back his use of marijuana. Bizarrely, he thinks his drug habit isn't getting in the way of his life in any way. Sure about that, George?
So you weren't the same George Michael arrested in October 2006 after a motorist reported a driver slumped over the wheel of a Mercedes at traffic lights in north London?
Clearly your love of the weed is clouding your brain, George.
To cap it all off there's your recent revelation that you refuse to take a HIV test, for fear that it will come back positive.
For a gay man who readily admits to engaging in "anonymous and no-strings sex", displaying such blithe ignorance is nothing short of shameful. Talk about a classic case of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand.
George apparently doesn't believe in tests. He says he finds the wait for the results too harrowing and hasn't had a test since at least 2004 due to his fears it might be positive.
I bet his partner is delighted with this news.
Get yourself tested, George.
Spice Girls sell out
Tickets for the Spice Girls' reunion concert in London have sold out in 38 seconds. That's roughly the same amount of time the girls like to spend in each other's company. It's no secret that there's been animosity between certain members of the group while rehearsing for their upcoming tour, so all eyes are on the Spiceys at the moment.
My money's on Mel C laying the first bitch slap and upsetting the happy medium. From memory, she's feistier than a ferret on heat and won't put up with any nonsense from the girls.
Potter goes Country gay
Harry Potter's alter ego, Daniel Radcliffe, wants to play the role of a rampant homosexual spy in the remake of 80s flick Another Country.
If his audition is successful, Daniel will once again find himself back in a dormitory like at Hogwarts, only this time surrounded by nudity and homo-erotic romps...not so much like Hogwarts.
Daniel's no stranger to getting his kit off - he fleshed it out on the London stage in Equus a few months back - so baring his magic wand in this flick won't be too traumatic.
See you Friday, folks.
