Counsellor says Married at First Sight experience could affect some 'for years'

Married at First Sight NZ contestants. Photo/Supplied

The search for love wasn't smooth for the majority of Married at First Sight NZ cast members - and counsellors say they may face further relationship and real-life turbulence once the show ends.

Messages sent between spouses from different marriages, a text intended for one of the groom's friends mistakenly sent to his wife, accusations of fame-hungry cast members and a heated dinner party have contributed to three of the six couples calling it quits.

And, as the remaining couples prepare to reconvene after a week apart and give their verdicts at a vow renewal ceremony tomorrow night, counsellors Alastair Duhs and Suzi Wallis have shared how a bad relationship experience could affect future relationships.

Although he admitted not watching the show, relationship expert Duhs said aspects of the Married at First Sight NZ (MAFS) experiment, such as a cast member having their trust broken, could affect a person for a long time.

"We are all shaped by our past, so whatever happened in the past can affect our future.

"I think it could be very difficult for [the contestants] having been either painted in a bad light or gone through a negative experience on national TV. It might be hard for some of them to move on from that."

Counsellor and family therapist Wallis said the effect of having a bad relationship experience played out in a space as public as national television could really impact those involved.

"Not only do they have the potential to be traumatised but being traumatised in a public space is a whole other level.

"If it's in the media, on Facebook, Twitter and so on, you don't get to lick your wounds in private and have that close circle of people who might support you through a breakup or humiliation, then be able to get some resilience back and reinvent yourself," said Wallis.

"If they don't get the right kind of help, they may feel quite damaged for some time."

Luke and Lacey were the first couple to call it quits after a tense cocktail party during which Lacey accused him of being fame-hungry.

The newlyweds were followed by Claire and Dom, whose marriage fell apart when Dom sent a frustrated text message about his wife to her, instead of his mate.

The third fail was Haydn and ex-The Bachelor NZ contestant Bel. The couple disappeared off the show after producers had to intervene and break up a verbal stoush between Haydn, Ben, Vicky and Andrew during a dinner party. The incident came after revelations that Vicky and Haydn were exchanging messages on social media despite not being a matched couple.

Things were turbulent for two of the remaining three couples in the most recent episode.

While Brett and Angel remained head over heels in love, newlyweds Ben and Aaron continued their rocky relationship with Ben questioning his husband's trustworthiness.

Meanwhile, Vicky was excited about being apart from husband Andrew for a week, who remained hopeful despite the show's experts warning him he appeared to have been "friend zoned".

Wallis said in general, if someone didn't learn from bad decisions in a relationship, they were likely to repeat them. She said those on the receiving end could be highly anxious and mistrustful going into a future relationship.

Wallis said it was also possible the cast members would question the authenticity of people, such as potential partners or friends, much more now they have become well known.

When it came to the contestant's professional careers, Duhs said if someone acted badly on the show the experience could affect their job.

"I'm sure it will affect some of them for years actually, to be honest. I know that being on television in New Zealand is something people remember and if they have acted in ways they regret on television it may be very hard for them to move past that perception from other people," Duhs said.

"People would likely remember [how they acted] and could interact with that person differently."

Relationship expert Alastair Duhs' advice for the failed couples:
1) Take time to process the experience
2) Make a short term plan to move on, including focusing on your own life and moving away from MAFS
3) Focus on what you have learned from the show
4) Surround yourself with your social circle again
5) Try to think positively about the experience and the future