Concert review: Miley Cyrus, Vector Arena

Miley Cyrus’ performance at the Vector Arena last night was a depraved and demeaning sleazefest but her legion of admirers loved every minute of it. Photo / Getty Images

Let's just cut to the chase and head straight to the official Miley Cyrus Bangerz Tour checklist, shall we?

Twerking: Check.
Tongue poking: Check.
Twerking dwarf dressed in fembot bikini (among other things): Check.
Assortment of eye-wincingly high-cut leotards: Check, check, check.
Giant tongue slide: No.
Full size moving car: No.
Inflatable penis: Afraid not.

Despite promises that NZ was to get the full-noise Bangerz tour, it wasn't to be. Instead, we got the low-rent version featuring a stage, a band and a giant screen playing some of the most bizarre and borderline obscene videos you're likely ever to see. Miley sucking on a frankfurter while holding another by her crotch: Check.

Then there was the live action on stage - a constant stream of crotch grabbing, bum squeezing and pelvic gyrating. Sometimes with props, like the giant, inflatable banana pulled from the crowd.

Miley likes to interact with her crowd - picking up and trying on just about anything they throw at her. From angel wings and furry hats to a plastic penis finger puppet, which the singer proclaimed to be the best thing anyone had ever thrown at her. Huzzah.

At times, it felt more like a karaoke hens' party than a major international tour. The sound mix was often so garbled it was hard to tell what song was actually playing.

But then, it sometimes seemed Miley didn't really know what she was singing anyway. Muddling her way through, more preoccupied with trying on headpieces or pulling her leotard ever higher.

When she stops to speak to the crowd, which is frequently, it's in expletive-laden bursts. She spits water on her fans and encourages girls to get their "titties" out. It's depraved and demeaning. But the fans can't get enough of it, pressing against one another in a heaving, teenage crush, trying to get closer to their idol.

Gallery: Miley Cyrus performs in Auckland

Image 1 of 7: Miley Cyrus performs live during her The Bangerz Tour at Vector Arena in Auckland, New Zealand. Photo / Getty Image

Security are kept busy constantly hauling young girls out of the crush. One, no more than 13, is pulled out crying, holding her shoe.

But just when you think there's nothing more to this cheap, vulgar, sleazefest, the show turns a corner. Miley either sobers up (she claims to have got "really f***ed up before the show") or wakes up, but suddenly she's singing with the intensity and conviction of someone who gives a damn. Someone who can sing. The back-up dancers have disappeared and it's just Miley and her band.

She comes alive with a theatrical country performance of Johnny Cash's A Boy Named Sue. She belts out I'll Take Care of You.

And then, just as quickly, we're back to the cheap tricks. The dancers return, wearing giant strap-on bum cheeks, and the tiresome twerking begins again.

Miley Cyrus
Where: Vector Arena, Auckland
When: Wednesday, October 8

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