'Spank Bank" is the name of the folder. Fox Mulder double clicks on it. Of course he does. He's Mulder. How could he not click on it?
Inside the folder is exactly what he's been looking for: a secret message. If there's a secret message to find, the FBI special agent is going to find it — especially if it's in a folder called "spank bank".
Unfortunately, to find that message, which is buried on a computer overseen by dodgy agent Skinner, Mulder's opened a bunch of strange files along the way.
With a sick Scully and a message for Mulder from the afterlife, season 11 of the The X-Files just became unmissable. Photo / Supplied
That means he's in a race against time, closing down multiple pop-ups of scantily clad women before Skinner, who's behind him making a cup of tea, turns around.
The set up to the oh-so-90s internet gag is great, and its execution is perfect. Watching Mulder furiously shut down a bunch of pop-ups with a super guilty look on his face might be the single greatest scene of television we see this year.
It's a sign that The X-Files is finding its feet again after a pretty rough comeback.
Its return in 2016 for a shortened 10th season strained so hard the seams started showing, but so far, after six episodes, season 11 fixes things, and then some.
Gillian Anderson as Scully, who will leave The X-Files after the latest season.
That's a surprise for even the show's biggest fans. To be honest, I'd tuned in with fewer expectations than Scully attending a UFO-spotters conference.
I was ready to watch one or two episodes for old time's sake, laugh ironically and move on. It says something about the enduring power of Mulder and Scully that I'll still tune in to check out what's going on in their weird alien world.
Sure, I laughed. Mulder closing down his pop-ups was hilarious. But then something happened. Scully got sick. Mulder got worried. Skinner had hidden agendas. Cancer Man showed up. He's still smoking cigarettes. Clearly he hasn't heard of vaping.
Then a Lone Gunman sent Mulder a message from the afterlife and I was right back in it.
The X-Files has the ability to do that. The show had an incredible run for its first five seasons. I taped every episode, rewatched key scenes, discussed crucial plot points with friends. I still shiver at the thought of that episode, the one called Home.
It was pure conspiracy theory perfectionism as creator Chris Carter toyed with urban legends, government conspiracies, alien loonies, and mixed up television genres along the way.
Six episodes into this season and that's exactly what they've been doing - while completely taking the piss the entire time. Episode one was a throat clearer, but Carter and co really hit their stride in episode two as Mulder and Scully went on the run from rampaging hitmen.
David Duchovny as Mulder in the latest season of The X-Files.
By episode four, they were producing episodes to rival The X-Files' peak — funny, topical and hilariously self-deprecating. At one point, Mulder showed up in a sasquatch outfit. In another, they put Mulder's head on a child's body.
Then the Ghostbusters car showed up.
One of my esteemed colleagues, who shall remain nameless, recently dropped a bombshell: he'd never seen an episode of The X-Files. Not a single one. I was shook.
He's roughly the same age as me, likes many of the same things as I do, and is just as fascinated by David Duchovny's recent career detour into laughable country rock.
He also enjoys a solid conspiracy theory. So how had he managed to never see a single episode?
His reply is a sick burn: "I was busy going out."
Whatever. If, like me, you used to stay in for The X-Files, you need to know that it's worth staying in again. Because The X-Files is back. And I'm a believer.
* The X-Files resumes screening on TVNZ 2 tonight at 11pm.
