Garner is competing to raise funds for The Cancer Society of New Zealand.
Jenni Mortimer is the New Zealand Herald’s lifestyle and travel editor. Jenni started at the Herald in 2017 and previously worked as an education publication editor.
OPINION
Two days before setting foot on the shores of Celebrity Treasure Island, a polarising media figure sat in front of me on a plastic lawn chair, wearing unzipped combat boots, a trilby hat and a green bandana in neither of the team’s colours.
When he walked away I jotted down on my annual ranking sheet “early elimination”, predicting where I thought the podcaster would finish the competition. As his teammates filed into my gazebo one by one for their 20-minute interviews, my suspicions appeared to be confirmed. The vast majority of the castaways said if forced to choose, they would vote the fast-talking presenter off first.
Deputy Labour leader Carmel Sepuloni suggested Duncan Garner had been “talking my ear off”, while others quipped they thought he might be wearing a wire and recording his constant Q&As for his podcast.
But two days later as I sat down on the media benches to watch the teams in their first challenge, something strange occurred that’s never happened before in my three seasons of interviews for the show. Two celebrities found their way to me and asked for an answer they gave to be struck from the record.
Both insisted they got Garner wrong; “He’s a good guy” said the first, who begged not to be named, while the second suggested, “He really opened up and I don’t feel my answer was fair any more.” I left the arena before more contestants could ask to omit their answers too.
I was befuddled – what on earth had occurred in those two days? Had they been swindled by the ex-political journalist? Was Garner more of a player than I first picked? Or had contestants and journalists alike truly got Garner wrong?
Four weeks into the competition, 50-year-old Garner appears to have well and truly proved those initial predictions wrong – going from the first one his team would vote out, to one of the oldest contestants left standing and making his way into the Treasure Island semifinal as an adored cast-mate.
Aidee Walker and Duncan Garner. Photo / TVNZ
I decided to take a look back at the answers Garner gave me during our interview to see if there were any clues that could have predicted one of television’s fastest villain-to-hero turnarounds ever.
Here’s what he had to say about his divorce, losing his dad to cancer and shafting politicians:
What made you say yes to Celebrity Treasure Island?
I ignored the email for two days – I found all the reasons not to do it. You can find all the reasons in the world not to do something and stay on the sidelines for the rest of your life. But you could stay there and hide amongst the crowd, or you can decide.
I turned 50 last Friday. I’m saving the party up for when I’m about 100 because I thought I’ll have a lot more energy when I’m 100.
The producer rang me and said, “Come on mate, we’re really keen for you.”
I thought, how do I do this, because I do a daily podcast – how do I just stop that? Because that’s how I get paid. [I thought] okay, I’ll do 20 in advance and say yes. So I worked my a** off in the last 10 days because of all these podcasts.
I’m 50 and the oldest in my team. My dad always wanted to send me to Outward Bound, going into the bush, but I’m a fisherman and I go hunting and stuff – I love the land, you know, and that’s what it’s about to be in New Zealand ... so none of that fazes me.
But I know my dad – he’s dead now, he died of cancer – he wanted me to go on an adventure like that, and we never got around to it. The anniversary of his death’s coming up, so I’m doing this for him and me, to prove I can do it.
Casey Kopua and Duncan Garner looking for buried treasure. Photo / TVNZ
Who do you think will be your toughest competition on the island?
I’ve interviewed half my team, and I walked in and I saw Carmel [Sepuloni], and I was like “F***! Have I shafted you?” I was racking my brain, and then I was like, “Nah I think I was good with her.”
She said, “I’m one of the few that you haven’t nailed.” And I said, “Oh that’s good ... give me a couple of days.”
We’ve got a nice team, really good vibe going on, really well balanced. We’ve got Wairangi [Koopu] who to me looks strong. Vinnie [Woolston] is your dark horse. [He’s] deep thinking, strategic, just keep it quiet, lying low. But I think he’s probably physically, hugely capable.
Everyone’s very tight. James [Rolleston], good young fella. Kasey’s [Kopua] been captain of the Silver Ferns. So there’s plenty of captains.
What are the strengths you’re bringing to this team?
Well, I love the outdoors, so all summer I’m fishing, I’m in the bush. From early in the morning till very late in the evening in the dark, I’m outside. So, I think I bring outdoor skills of hunting and fishing, survival.
I’m already looking at the environment – we can’t take any hooks or nets or whatever, but see the harakeke, see the flax there? I can make a net out of that. I can then get some sticks and place that on the river and catch fish. Everything around us is a resource, so that’s how I sort of see the land, being one with the land and the sea.
I’m a huge believer in putting others first, so empathy is a crucial trait in our team. For me, it’s a crucial trait in an individual. If you don’t have empathy, you’re not on my team. I believe in putting people before you and I believe in karma, so by doing that, the karma will repay you. That’s my religion. I’m not religious in any way, so that’s my thing. That’s how I do life.
Because I spent years smashing into politicians in Parliament. I walked in the bush for a year after that, you know, after I’d been in Wellington too much, just to get my head back. [Then] leaving Wellington and coming to Auckland and doing talkback and all that sort of thing – meeting real people, hearing their real stories – that’s more life, you know.
I think my strengths will be co-ordination, co-operation and bringing the team together. I’m the oldest in the team, so I might be the kaumātua, the wise old guy. Or I could be the weak link and they kick me out. But I’m like a tractor, I’ll go all day. May not be top speed, but I’ll go all day.
What challenges in your life have taught you resilience and determination – skills you need in this game?
The last five or 10 years, my life just turned on its head. I lost my father. He was my best mate, so coping with that.
But then I faced a divorce, and it was really long and a bit messy and that’s taught me, you’ve got to hang in there.
I’ve had a s*** time the last few years to be honest, and hence why doing this is not some nice break away. This is a great reset for me.
A divorce can knock your confidence ... it can be expensive and it can be messy, and it can just knock you around a bit. So, this is a chance to get out there and win and achieve something.
Even being away from my son, you know – my son and I are tight. Over Christmas I wasn’t with him, he went away for two weeks and I really missed him. It stopped me in my tracks. So that prepared me a little bit for this. It’s a battle being away from him, but it’s good for me too. It’s just another skill to show you’re tough enough to do this.
Duncan Garner gets emotional on the set of Celebrity Treasure Island. Photo / TVNZ
What do you hope to take away from this game?
I think I’ll make a bunch of new friends, take away new-found co-operation skills.
Already I’m learning stuff off these guys ... they’re all at the top of their field, which is phenomenal. I think the hardest decision is going to be who goes.
If you had to eliminate someone from your team, who would it be and why?
I look at this team and all their strengths, and I might eliminate myself. I just think that all these guys are really special in their industries and what they do, and I wouldn’t want to lose any of those guys.
I might say Gaby [Solomona] if it can’t be myself, because I know her the least out of everybody. I feel like a cruel bastard saying it.
Where do you think you’ll place in this game – can you win it?
Well, if you think you can’t, you won’t. The people that you think will win it probably won’t. The people that you think won’t win, it might.
I’m really competitive guy, but I’m also in it to have some fun. If you don’t have fun, then you shouldn’t be here for a start. But in saying that, the deeper I go, the more I want to win. So if I’m still here in a week’s time, then I might change my modus operandi and just be a prick. Be meaner and leaner and f***ing go for it, you know.
Can be underhand if you need me to be. I’ve had to work in Parliament, in the press gallery for 20 years. You can imagine the games going on there for information, the horse-trading and bulls*** that goes on. I’ve been abused and dealt to professionals and been dealt by professionals.
I used to say to Paddy Gower and those guys when they came and worked with me at the press gallery, the first trick here is to strut around like we know we’ve got a scoop and like we’re winners. There’s all sorts of ways to look like you’re winning.
Celebrity Treasure Island premiered on September 9 on TVNZ and TVNZ+
